Holly Wainwright

Snatching food.

Yeah, but and also I want to point out, I don't think it has to be as basic as like make me a cup of tea.

It's more that thing of when, and this happens a lot in relationships, is one person's doing a lot of work and the other person is kind of going, as I say, not even remembering your birthday or remembering to call you when you've had a bad day or like it's that kind of stuff.

It doesn't necessarily have to literally mean, although that would help too, washing the dishes, whatever.

It's like the idea that one person is give, give, giving and the other person is just take, take, taking is quite,

familiar to a lot of women, I think.

No one wants to apply this.

This is not an aspirational let's apply SPS to things.

This is a result of a natural dynamic that occurs.

But this is why you're, this is exactly what this, this is exactly what Lena Dunham is saying, is that is the correct way to do it.

Is you go, I expect...

Why?

Not like literally, as I say, it doesn't literally mean you have to do X, Y, Z around the house or X, Y, Z for me every day.

But I expect this level of giving.

And the thing is, is that a lot of relationships, you just slip into being the one who's doing that.

Women, and this is obviously we're generalizing in gender terms here, but it is very often women, they go on to say women are almost programmed to over deliver a lot.

So like if you love somebody, you like lavish them with things.

Let me do that for you.

Let me look after you like that.

And a lot of people get a lot of fulfillment for that.