Host 4

The hockey player just like, hey man, I'm trying to play here, okay?

We didn't practice.

Yeah, we did it. We won.

What? Are you 12, Brett? How are we talking in these terms? That'd be a good team mascot, by the way. Go cowgirls. Brett, welcome to the show, man.

Oh, man. She's wacky. So she's playful. Yeah, she sounds fun. Yeah, fun.

Good seeds.

Hey, I got a tooth! Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes that's like, should we even go? You bought the tickets.

Oh, I love cheese in any form, but that is not hot. I'm not into that. I don't know.

At least grab a pretzel and wipe it off.

And if she liked it, that's all that matters.

Uh-oh. First fight. Here it comes.

Oh, that's not a bad idea.

See, now that's, bro, that's a girl test. Girls will be like, sure, you make the decision. I don't care. But then they really care. They absolutely do.

So I was going to say, so she hasn't said anything since she left. That was the last time you talked to her.

I'm not good at spelling, but I think I know what I'm talking about.

I could see, well, you chose a team over me, you know, kind of thing.

That's so annoying, because it should not be a thing anymore.

Even bro to bro, that's so embarrassing. Even on a date, it's even worse.

Well, you're kind of forced to kiss on a kiss cam. It's a lot of pressure.

Which means he fought it out and he knew he was going to take off the jersey.

Well, I don't know about that. Well, bad doing is a part of sports.

If we saw them go up, come down.

Yes. And guess what? It was a man who piloted it and a man who paid for it. That's right. Women.

I'm all for it.

Oh, my goodness.

All women went to space? At one point. At one point? Six women were above everyone else.

Private investor. You gave me 2%.

Nice.

Yeah. Dang it.

Be right back. We're at Mars. Yeah.

Mountains are scary.

It's sickening.

Speaking of women, how is Gretchen?

It's like an astronaut is a person that travels to space for profession.

Huh?

Should we start buying homes? Our property value would be through the roof in this area.

I'm just going to sit on the beach. We'll be good.

We're 200 feet of elevation.

Really? It's just Mr. Beast. We have four years to figure out how to thwart this meteor.

Off the axis.

I can't do that. Sorry. You know he's slurping, too.

Hold on.

It's hilarious. Was he a Bigfoot?

Wildfires, all these things.

And it's like, I don't know. Francis Chan, like, getting worked up on it, it's the scariest thing to me. When he's like, Adam to Abraham is 2,000 years. Abraham to Jesus is 2,000. And approximately Jesus to now is another 2,000. Yeah. We have the precedent of a grouping of six and then a seventh day of rest, or he says the thousand-year reign could be what's coming real soon.

Yeah. Like 32, 2032? Yeah.

All right. This is, this is like out there, but we always talk about like youth camp experiences when you disconnect from everything. Right. And like, that's one of the ways that God reconnects with you is it's not necessarily just being at a youth camp, but it's, it's the fact that you're removed from all the distractions. And focused on him. What if the reconnection.

the beginning of this thousand year reign has to do with everything that distracts us the internet grid going down like some sort of big world war iii type you know what would have launched a war but we're just instantly Like, how do you know what's going on in Russia or China? If instantly a bomb goes off and the internet goes down, you're immediately like, you got to talk to your neighbors.

You got to start doing that sort of stuff. That's the means that the church.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too. It's really descriptive.

I forgot I have to stop it 30 minutes I need the cold Or you can just do it Why don't you do 3-2-1 I don't have the Why don't you do 3-2-1 I don't have a new iPhone How about you do 3-2-1-5-1 man Shrek That's my favorite I'm looking down So we've talked about this stuff before, how dinosaurs are birds, basically large birds. And so this is just a new way.

Like we've heard like what a T-Rex might have sounded like. We did that creepy video. And so this person has a theory. They try something and it just freaked me out. So here we go.

It's a chicken, dude.

That's good.

That's crazy. Crazy, right? So he added reverb, jungle, ambience, and just slowed down like a... And that's what it came out as.

The last one. Yeah.

Yeah, but truly, what are they supposed to do? Yeah.

But, like, how are they supposed, one, how do they know what's in it? It could be, like, a fire extinguisher. Andy! What? A fire extinguisher. I was like, if I was holding out, like, trying to, like, you know, protect my own property, it's like, dang, I don't have a tent. Yeah. Order Amazon. It might be.

Someone sees the burnt-down house, and they're like, oh, they just continue driving, like, chasing it down the street.

She's so funny. Did you see the wildfire in Ocala that happened? The bombing range, they missed. And they actually started, I think they got it controlled. It was like 20 acres went up because the bomb did not hit the bombing range. Whoops.

There's a bombing range in the middle of Ocala. You didn't know that? You'd hear it sometimes in like Umatilla and stuff. You know the booms that freak him out?

There's places in the US you can't fish with barbs, like for trout and like certain spots. Yeah.

You're like, okay, well, what's like the biggest danger in the Australian one?

I'm not helping you, dude.

That was crazy. I mean, it helps your body retain water so you stay hydrated with salt.

he's got the like world war one shell shock thousand yards there yeah that's what it was people are gonna he's gonna like have lore made after him he's gonna be the Sasquatch of the island

yeah so just for for comparison the uh lake closest to it is lake superior no way like as far as sight oh my goodness dude that is wild no thank you dude what is down there you're about to find out no let's start with the critters

Is it surrounded by mountains? Yeah. See, it makes me wonder, like, if there are, like, hollow earth or, like, caverns, like, there would be, like, pressure and air pressure inside would actually, like, you could have a different entrance point to the bottom of that lake. So...

I'm on the trench.

Well, the Mariana Trench is 35,876 feet deep. Wow, that's very, very deep.

It's the best coast.

Dang.

Or we go alone.

That is a lot.

I know how much.

I was with my black friend the other day. Okay. You could just be your friend.

I'm reading about it right now. It's insane. Like the fact that he got to that city to destroy it and then the priest walked out and was like,

It's like two things. The high priest said he took him to the passages in Daniel where he was talking about someone was going to destroy the Persians and he proclaimed over him. He's like, I've met you. This is you. This prophecy is about you.

But then combined with the belief that he was a you know half god he dove fully into all the legends and apparently was obsessed with researching so the library he was trying to uncover not just information but his own history like he was like psycho like believed i am i am him

Enoch was around. He was reading the Iliad, you know, all of this stuff.

legendary stuff dude it's all real and it's all connected I'm telling you it's sure it's I I definitely think it's connected somehow I've I've I came across another cool little piece of information on Tolkien apparently when he was a kid he was at a uh he was like at a monastery or something like that but they had this massive library and apparently he was allowed in to their like

you know, their private library. And he, before he was reading all this stuff, he was literally building a history in his mind. And then they took it all and sent it to the Vatican and it closed it off. But apparently like even his retelling of Lord of the Rings is supposedly has plagiarized the stories that are now in the Vatican.

Did you watch it?

Yeah.

Love that pickle at Popeye's.

Ravens!

Question corner, question corner, question corner with Lily where the questions are fresh on our mind.

The white man. Typical.

Nephilim can't survive. Cause you can't hide the truth and you can't block our sight. We left our mark and brought that light. We ready not, but we said, dang, if you ain't into that, well, ain't that a shame?

Like a Tuesday is fine.

They can crush a skull up under the sky. A Nephilim can survive. Neverland can't survive. Neverland can't survive. Neverland can't survive.

Dove is real. Truly wasn't needed.

He did call me. He goes, oh, is there a CTA? And then just hung up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Meaning like he was just he was just proving he was going to call someone to pretend that it was real.

Yeah.

You get a virtual tax expert. They hook you up.

You need one. You need it checked. I have to get one early because prostate cancer runs in my family. Yeah. Okay. Three. Five. We can all go at the same time. Okay. We should do that.

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Week 17 in the NFL. We're going to start with Fastest Two Minutes. We got some big-time playoff... implications going on. We've got a lot of the seeds set.

And the Chargers are back in the playoffs, and they're a functional team. And I know it makes Hank so mad that the Chargers, if they can win next week and the Steelers lose, could be playing the Texans, which is a very winnable game for this Chargers team.

And you remember when we were with him for training camp and he kind of gave us that look where we're like, oh, how are you guys going to be this year? And he's like, kind of like, hey, you know, we're going through some things. We're changing over the roster. There's a lot of young players that have to, but he like gave that look like, I wouldn't bet against Jim Harbaugh.

Like, I'm going to do something here. And they did. And like Lab McConkie, Outside of Malik neighbors who we'll get to and Brian Thomas, he was the eighth receiver picked in the draft. He's the third best receiver so far from that draft. He was insane. He went, uh, he's top 15 in receptions, yards and touchdowns in the whole league, not just rookies. And it's like everything. J.K.

Dobbins got healthy. It feels like the Chargers, they're not going to win the Super Bowl, but they could make some noise.

Yeah.

Massive.

If they play the Texans, they're playing better football than the Texans right now. I don't know if playing the Ravens, that would be very difficult because the Ravens look unstoppable in December. But, yeah, I mean, if they play the Texans and then if it breaks out and they play the Texans and then they go maybe play the Chiefs, hard to beat a team three times. It's true.

They're going to lose to the Chiefs, but still, I'll say all week, it's hard to beat a team three times, and then the Chiefs will make it look really easy.

No, I think we did look it up, and it was proven not to be true.

Well, it also, like this Chargers turnaround, if you want to call it that, because they did get rid of a lot of players and they've had to like get young.

But it was all, I mean, it was Justin Herbert and you needed a coach who was going to bring the most out of Justin Herbert who, you know, it's not like he was playing bad before Jim Harbaugh showed up, but he wasn't playing to his like full potential. And Jim Harbaugh is just, I think if you just are around him enough, you'll just have confidence to be great at your job.

Like, you know, when he told us about SpongeBob, he's like, I respect SpongeBob. He's a hero of mine. He just does his job every day. Like Jim Harbaugh, if you just put him in any setting, everyone's going to work harder and get the most out of like, you know, they're going to be the most efficient they could be.

It's very funny to think now of like Jim Harbaugh losing and going into the locker room and like having to take a moment in his office where he just like cries and like, you know, like is like an eight-year-old. He's crying and he's like punching things. And he's like, why didn't I – why didn't we win? It's like, well, you can't win every time. It's like, no, that's not right. I want to win.

It's not fair. Yeah. All right. So we do have questions for Hank that we'll save when he gets on because – I feel like Gerard Mayo, he's got to be fired, right?

But if you're... I mean, you're going to make the same mistake the Bears just made, where it's like keeping a bad head coach around for a young quarterback is not a good thing. I mean, the Patriots did end up kind of winning the weekend because they vaulted into the number one seed, which we'll get to with the Giants game. But yeah, we'll ask Hank what he wants.

So the next game, which was awesome, Bengals 30, Broncos 24, overtime thriller. We deserve this game. The Bengals stay alive. The Bengals still need help. They need the Broncos and the Dolphins to lose in Week 18, and they need to win. But the Bengals, who were, I think, 4-8 at one point, are alive, still have a playoff shot in Week 18 next Sunday.

And this was a crazy game because it was basically a microcosm of the Bengals' whole season where their defense failed them at crazy times. Their kicking failed them. Their coach kind of failed them. And Joe Burrow just kept on dragging them out of the mud over and over. He won this game three times. He won this game in regulation. He won this game in overtime.

And then he won it for real in overtime after they got the ball back after the missed kick. It was insane to watch. And Joe Burrow is – I know he's not going to win MVP. But I think he should absolutely be considered because what he's done – I was looking it up, PFT. So Joe Burrow is going to finish – I think he has 42 touchdown passes right now. He leads the league in touchdown passes and yards.

There's no quarterback to throw. There's only one quarterback, sorry, to throw 45 or more touchdowns and not win the MVP. And that was Drew Brees in 2011. And the only reason he didn't win it is because Aaron Rodgers threw 45 and he won the MVP.

So if he throws three touchdown passes in week 18, it's going to be unprecedented that a quarterback had the season he had and didn't end up winning the MVP, and his team is to blame. But you could make the argument Lamar and Josh have been incredible, and I selfishly hope Josh wins, but there's no wrong choice. Saquon also, 2,000 yards.

Joe Burrow has been doing this on a team where he has no margin for error, and he has to be this great week in and week out, and no one's going to bail him out.

Yeah, I said two months ago I should have bet it. That's the thing. I'm a pussy and I didn't bet it when I told everyone to bet it.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. The fun of the NBA season continues with the simplest way to play for a little for a shot to win big. Pick six from DraftKings. Download the DraftKings Pick 6 app. Now use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to play $5 to get 50 in Pick 6 credits. Happy holidays from DraftKings Pick 6. The crown is yours.

They would not be playing for a playoff spot in Week 18.

Yeah. Yeah, Dak would have gotten confused. He would have thrown it to the Cowboys.

Here's even better of a stat, PFT. He's now done it 10 times this year. There's only four quarterbacks that have ever done that 10 times. 250 yards, three touchdowns in a game, 10 times in a year. So 10 games they did that. The three others are 2007 Tom Brady, MVP, 2013 Peyton Manning, MVP, 2018 Patrick Holmes, MVP.

So again, another unprecedented, if Joe Burrow doesn't win the MVP, all these other guys that had done the exact same thing he did, They were just on better teams. They won the MVP. All his numbers are MVP. His defense has kept it. If the Cincinnati Bengals had won one of those games against the Ravens and had beaten the Patriots week one, they would have, what, 10 wins now?

So they'd be 10-6, and they would be in the playoffs. Would it even be a debate? Like, he'd be the MVP?

And the Chargers. The Chargers year where they were number one in offense, number one in defense, and last in special teams and didn't make the playoffs. Yep.

Yeah. Wasted season. Incredible season.

Yeah, Jerry McCain in November. Yeah. I brought – I don't want to get into – you know, this show, we don't do media narratives for awards, right? Like we never push a certain narrative one way or the other. No, we go by the show. We go by the tape. I wrote something down. I'm not even going to read it.

Here, you know what? I'll text it to Max. Max should have to read it. Okay. Max will read it. And Ravens fans, this is Max Delente. He's the one who's reading this. Say something nice about the Broncos, even though they kind of suck, and I actually weirdly want the Broncos to get in the playoffs so I can bet everything on the Bills against the Broncos.

Today is Monday, December 30th week. 16, 17, week 17.

Yeah, that's true. All right, Max, say this. This is Max Salente saying it, by the way. Max Salente here. It's getting hot. It's funny watching... Because we obviously were kind of in the thick of the Heisman race, not having any wager and watching from afar. People are really angry about Josh, Lamar, Joe. Like, it's crazy. Like, Ryan Clark, I think his brain is broken.

He's just finding random people online and quote tweeting all of them to say anything about Lamar. It's like, dude, everyone knows Lamar is incredible. He's having an incredible season. He's having such an incredible season. Max has a staff for it.

Yeah, that's a crazy stat, Max. Why would you say that?

Oh, in an extra game?

Interesting.

Yeah, Eric Dickerson. 16 games for Eric Dickerson, so one extra game. Yeah, I don't know what to make. I mean, the Broncos, like, nice season. I still think they'll probably make the playoffs, although I kind of feel like the Chiefs might win that game just out of, like, here's one thing that makes no sense to me. People being like the Chiefs don't want the Bengals in the playoffs.

That makes no sense to me for this reason. If the Bengals were in the playoffs, they would be the seven seed and the Bills would be the two seed. if the Chiefs had to play the Bengals, that would mean the Bengals beat the Bills. If you ask the Chiefs, who would you rather play, the Bills or the Bengals? It's definitely the Bengals. Their defense has been so bad all year. The Bills beat the Chiefs.

Like, I know that this, like, burrowhead thing, which, by the way, is not even real because I think the Chiefs have beaten them the last three times they've played. Like... If you're a Chiefs fan, I think most Chiefs fans probably think this. Like, go ahead and let the Bengals in. Because if they somehow upset the Bills, that's an easier path.

We start in Cincinnati in a game with huge playoff implications as Bo Sticks proved that the Broncos are for real and isn't a grand illusion as he let the ball sail away, sail away to Marvin Yankee hat with no brims, Jr., who...

Yes, agreed. And also, I don't know if you want to start Patrick Mahomes against a Broncos defense. Zach Allen had three and a half sacks. Joe Burrow got sacked seven times on Saturday. You don't... 25 days is a lot of days. So memes, you just sent this. The Chiefs are 3-0 against the Bengals in their last three.

Yeah, they play them tough, but again, the Bills are a more complete team than the Bengals. If you're in a must-win game in Week 18 and you need help, something went wrong during that season that makes you not as scary of a team.

And I get it. You would maybe have to play the Bengals and then also the Ravens where in another way you'd maybe have to play the – I get it. But I'm just saying I don't think the Chiefs as a franchise are scared of anyone at this point. It's just not – that's just not how they operate.

Yeah, they just win games. Okay, so yeah, I don't – the Bo Nix drive to tie the game was sick. That was like 89 yards and 70 seconds. But the Broncos, like, they're limping in right now. And it's not like they're bad. It's just they've had to play a couple teams that are better than them, and they've kind of been exposed for that.

Also, I love that Zach Taylor was like, yeah, Chase Brown got hurt, so we had to abandon our plan. It's like you could have just stuck with the plan, dude. Like totally botched that where he scored on the next play and didn't even make the Broncos use their last time out.

He got injured doing the right thing. If he had kept on going, he wouldn't have gotten injured.

I think he's safe. I mean, the Bengals have to pay T Higgins. I don't know how much he's going to get paid a lot of money, but if that was T Higgins last game, home game in Cincinnati, what a way to go out. Cause he had three touchdowns and like just absolutely abused Riley Moss. And, uh,

The Bengals are – I feel bad for Bengals fans because this is just – you have a franchise quarterback who's playing MVP level, who's ascended to a different level. You have the best wide receiver in the game, and you have a cheap owner that might not pay for an insane weapon in T. Higgins. And this season is like – you just can't waste seasons like this. And they did.

But it was Joe Spurrow that came out the victor. Duncan on the defense injecting T-Shot Higgins who said, yeah, we may have been gals, but now we are men. And even with the win, there were questionable decisions down the stretch begging the question, will Cincy want to transition and remove Zach Taylor?

They're just cheap ownership, and it sucks.

That's probably the lowest of any NFL head coach. That's about the bare minimum, which shows the cheap ownership.

Yeah. I think Andy Reid makes $20 million, which is actually a bargain when you think about it. Okay. Okay. Rams 13, Cardinals 9. The Rams are possibly in without having to play Week 18. We're still waiting for the Commanders-Falcons game to end. But obviously a big win. They need this win. They are – I have a couple statements that might bite me in the ass in a couple weeks.

The first one is I'm not scared of the Rams. Even though I have my pinky on the line, I'm not scared of the Rams. I think their offense is like broken. Their running game's not. Their running game's good, but they are now 11 straight games without scoring in the first quarter. Three out of the last four games, so obviously the Bills game was insane.

Three out of the last four games, I think they've scored like, I don't know, like 13 points a game. And Cooper Cup has been invisible in three out of the last four games, or four out of the last five games, sorry. Taking out the Bills game, he's caught seven balls for 70 yards in four of the last five games. They start slow. Their defense is good.

Their defense made some big plays against the Cardinals down the stretch. I just don't think they're a complete team that can win the Super Bowl. So I'm doubling down.

You've got to take out the Bills game because, remember, the Bills game was just an insane up-and-down shootout Big 12 game.

And this also comes down to the seeding, how it's going to most likely work out.

Right, exactly. And same with the Packers you throw in there as well. Oh, big touchdown, not Brian Robinson. That hurts. Chris Rodriguez Jr., the commanders take the lead 20-17, 13 minutes left in the fourth quarter. But yeah, again, this is going to probably bite me in the ass. The other statement's coming later that's really going to bite me in the ass. I'll give a preview right now.

I'm not worried about the Packers at all.

These two statements are going to hurt me. Yeah, these two statements are going to hurt me.

We're not going to. The Bears will be lucky to field a team next week. Half the guys are probably going to be in Cancun by the time kickoff comes around.

Listen, I want to spit on myself. Pause. Cardinals, I just can't quit. I think I said it on Friday. Or maybe it was last Monday where I was like, Kyler Murray, I don't know how many more years I can do this, and then he was actually incredible. He made some big-time plays, except for throwing an absolute bullet off Trey McBride's face for the interception, which was very funny.

We also have some fun games, uh, that are going to be set up for week 18, some things still at stake. We're going to talk a little who's back. We're also maybe do a little college football because we have the quarterfinals coming up in a couple days. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings for monster slams to draining threes at the buzzer.

And Trey McBride, shout-out, got a touchdown. 98th catch of the season was his first touchdown reception. The second-longest Was Keyshawn in 2001. He had 92 before he caught a touchdown pass. But yeah, I don't Kyler Murray is like there's weeks where I'm just like, I don't want to watch this guy anymore. And then I'm like, yeah, I actually could sell myself on him being the guy.

So I don't I don't know what I'm just confused about Kyler at all times.

Yeah, because he does. He fades. That team faded, and they should have won that game against the Rams, and the Rams just held on.

Pew, pew. He didn't do enough fuck shit. He had the one where he went for it on fourth and ten. I appreciated that, but it was not enough fuck shit for us to give him immunity for life.

Yeah. Okay, let's go to Sunday. Eagles 41, Cowboys 7. Our guy Max was there. We got to hear everything about it. Also, shout out Pug. He was right about Tanner McKee. Three for four, two touchdowns. Tanner McKee is electric. He might be the future. And the Eagles win the NFC East, continuing the streak 20th consecutive season that we haven't had a repeat winner in the NFC East.

Max, you were there. What was it like? You got to meet?

Okay. And Big Dom, you were with Big Dom, who's our favorite.

But Big Dom is the best. That was awesome that he hooked you guys up, you and your parents. Big Dom's one of those guys, when I grow up, I want to be Big Dom. I know that makes no sense because I'm about to be 40, but I do want to be Big Dom when I grow up.

Max, did you see Jerry Jones went on his radio show after, and he said that an Eagles fan went up to him and said, keep doing the job you're doing this year, and he was not happy. I mean, the Cowboys, I should have known because I was like, ooh, maybe the Cowboys are going to be frisky here. The Eagles are Cooper Rush kryptonite. He's played the Eagles three times.

He has 373 yards total against the Eagles in three games, full starts, two touchdowns, five interceptions. This game was a laugher. It wasn't even like you guys were pick sixes and Kenny Pickett got hurt. It still didn't matter.

Oh, he's going to sit. I don't know if I can play for him. Yeah, they got the two seats wrapped up.

They should have kept him in longer this week. I know that doesn't make any sense because snaps are snaps, but once you're already playing a game, I don't know. My guess is they play him and give him 10 carries and see if he can break one. Yeah.

I also – Eric Dickerson's been kind of a salty bitch about it. So I kind of want him to play for that reason too.

To Sunday in the Meadowlands where the winless at-home Giants were taking on the Colts without their AR-15. But they did have Joe Tick Flacco, who went over the X's and O's in prep all week as he looked like Prince Albert the way he was tossing balls to wide receiver Fallick Pierce, finding a hole in the D time and time again.

Here's the only counterpoint. And I feel like if I had a record like that, I would, I'd want it to be broken before I died because you do get a bounce of like everyone saying, wow, Eric Dickerson was incredible. That's an insane record.

So like if I could time it to like get my record broken, like a year or two before I die so that I get all the, cause like once you're dead, what does it fucking matter? You know, it's going to get broken and you're gonna be dead and no one's going to be able to say, Hey, you were awesome.

Right. And you get to go to the game and you get to be like, oh, young buck, like great job. And if you're Eric Dickerson, you get the added bonus of an extra game. And I know the carries, Max, you mentioned the carries. You had that ready to go. But you could always be like, I didn't play 17 games.

So you could be like, oh, I had the 16 game record.

Yes. Very cool. Very, very cool. Yeah, I don't know. Saquon did have a funny line after, which is more injury for the Giants, when he said it was his first hat and T-shirt game, and he didn't even know that was a thing. That's tough for Giants fans, that he was like, I had no idea that a hat and T-shirt game was a thing. Do you think the Cowboys will play Trey Lance next week? I mean, they should.

Why haven't they? I don't know.

Yeah, I agree. He's being a little too quiet about everything.

Shout out that guy. Oh, B-Rob, we need him to score a touchdown for the people. All right, Giants 45, Colts 33. Who's more mad at this result? The Giants. But the Colts, too. The Colts were in the pecking order. Obviously, we've talked about the Bengals a lot, but the Colts were going to be in if the Broncos lost in Week 18.

Typically super bad Giants quarterback Drew Cock must have looked at his notes, but unlike the movie, he never ended up getting the boos from the Giants faithful. McGreek Neighbors was the hero of the day as his skills didn't peter out as he had all of the targets kabobbing and weaving through the Colts defense on the way to the victory.

Yeah, I mean, they went from the first draft pick to the fourth, and they obviously need a quarterback.

Yeah, so it's crazy they end up winning this game. It does kind of prove that tanking in the NFL is impossible because the quotes from the Giants players after were like, we're not fucking trying to lose. We're out here playing for our jobs. They did avoid becoming the first team ever to lose nine home games in a season. But so...

I actually think it could be worse for the Colts if they don't fire Chris Ballard. That would be my statement. Chris Ballard, do you know this? This is a fun stat about Chris Ballard. So he took over the job in 2017. Since 2017... There have been, I think it's seven, so seven years, seven winners of the AFC South. The Jaguars have won it twice. The Titans have won it twice.

The Texans have won it three times. The Indianapolis Colts have won it zero times. It is the most combustible division that you can win year to year, and Chris Ballard's teams have not won it a single time. And this is another year where, remember the 2021 year where they lost the Jags, a terrible Jags team at the end of the season? Yep. They had it last year where they had a win and get in game.

His teams just fall apart. Their defenses fall apart. The Giants were averaging 14 points a game and they had 45. I know there were some turnovers, but 45 points.

Yeah. If this gets rid of Chris Ballard, this is an okay loss for the Colts because if you keep Chris Ballard and you – they already said that Anthony Richardson is going to be their quarterback, starting quarterback to start next year. So I'd already like to make a prediction.

If Chris Ballard sticks around, if they don't change anything for the Colts, I'd like to make a prediction that the Colts will finish 8-9 or 9-8 and miss the playoffs.

That's where they're going to be.

I guess the only thing you could say is maybe, and this is what I would do if I were a Giants fan, be like, You know, there's no it's not like the best quarterback class and we would have to talk ourselves into it. And maybe you get the decision made for you. And also the Patriots are first pick right now. They already have a quarterback. So you could potentially trade, which sucks.

But yeah, it's a bad law. It's a bad win. I mean, it's a bad win. You can't win that game if you're the Giants. I don't know. Like, you just can't win that game.

Yeah, that's true. I just can't – I just want to keep speaking up for Colts fans. I know Dan Dockage, our friend Dan Dockage, is doing it because he's been saying the truth about Chris Ballard for a long time. Chris Ballard, it's insane that he doesn't get more heat. That stat about every other team winning the AFC South twice in his time and him never winning one.

And not only that, but this was the first year in his career tenure that they had the same starting quarterback from one year to the next. Anthony Richardson technically was a starting quarterback last year, starting quarterback this year. That's all he's been doing is just changing quarterbacks.

He's gone through a million, and I know Andrew Luck retired, and that was bad, but I feel bad for Colts fans because it feels like this guy's never going to get fired, and you just have soft teams that end up falling apart in the end, especially defensively, at the end of the season.

Yeah. It's crazy because you can't – like the Colts had Peyton Manning. So they can't – like if you're a Colts fan, you've had good moments. And then you had Andrew Luck and that obviously they couldn't protect him and he retired early. But I do feel bad for Colts fans because they are the ultimate tease team where they are always – a little bit competitive.

And they actually, like, weirdly do the right thing of, like, when they have a bad season, they really do bottom out. You know, they had the season to get Andrew Luck. They had a 4-12 season and got Anthony Richardson. Like, they do it correct, but they just, they're such a team. They're 8-9, 9-8 every single year, and they fall apart like this, and it would drive me nuts.

And Chris Ballard, I don't know how you have a job. As a national sports podcast, fire Chris Ballard.

Yeah, yeah, exactly right. All right. Bucks, Panthers, Bucks 48, Panthers 14. Bucks are back. That was a big statement win just off of a bad game against the Cowboys. I know the Panthers defense, like the Panthers were missing everyone. They, you know, Chuba was out. J.C. Horn was out. Josie Jewell was out. Like they got absolutely gashed.

The big story of this, I had two big stories from this game. Actually, three. Bryce Young's still good. Quarterback of the future for the Panthers. Number two is Mike Evans now is 85 yards away from getting 1,000 yards. So I'm hoping for that because we're a big Mike Evans podcast. And number three, the duck that caused the block punt. That was awesome. Get that duck into the Bucs Hall of Fame.

So I don't know how you can find that duck, but you need to get that duck. Maybe eat it. Maybe eat it before the playoffs. I've seen better ducks, but PFT for people who don't, who weren't watching this game. I don't blame you. There was a duck on the field. They showed the duck. They were like zooming in on the duck.

literally the second after they were zooming in on the duck, they had to go away from the duck because the bucks blocked a punt and got a touchdown out of it. The duck caused that. And then the whole crowd started chanting, ducky, ducky. Cause they were chanting Bucky earlier. Cause Bucky Irving had an incredible game. Get that duck. If you want to win a super bowl, don't eat the duck.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, get the duck, put it in a, put it in a mascot, you know, bin. I don't even know cage, have it on the sideline. That duck is vibes that could win you a Super Bowl.

Yeah. So I'll take that. I agree with you there. Like the duck. It would have been cool if the duck had like run the punt back with the team.

Yeah. Yeah. Baker's going to end up with – because the Bucs do have to play next week. Baker's going to end up with 40 touchdowns, 40-plus touchdowns, and 4,500 yards. What a season.

I would say if the Bucs are a team I do not want to play.

I'd rather play the Rams, I think. Okay. I don't know. The Bucs defense is not great, although they have been injured. I know Antoine Winfield was out in this game, and he's very important. But Todd Bowles can dial it up, PFT.

Yeah, the Bucs, like, Bucky Irving is awesome, 190 yards from scrimmage today. Jalen McMillan is a real deal wide receiver, number two option. Mike Evans looks fine. Like, yeah, I would probably not want to play the Bucs just because there's just more variance in, like, a shootout and stuff, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, that's facts. He'll be pissed off, for sure. And then, yeah, the Panthers were really injured, and I do think Bryce Young, he made an insane, awesome throw to Adam. The Panthers need to keep Adam Thielen. That they do need to do because that's clearly a connection that works for Bryce Young, and that was a smart signing that is now showing that it was smart.

You need a guy like that for a young quarterback, and Adam Thielen still got some gas in the tank.

Yeah.

And the first time in Fastest Two Minutes history, we go to someone who's actually at the game. Max, who is at Philly.

Yeah, and the Panthers arrow pointing up, which, again, if you had asked us this in October, there's no chance that you'd be enthused about the Panthers season going into next year. I think legitimately you can be, especially in the NFC South, where that's a division where teams can feel like they can win it out of nowhere. So I just want the Bucs in the playoffs.

I would like to see the Bucs in the playoffs. I want to see Baker in the playoffs. Agreed. It's like... like no offense to Michael Penix in the Falcons, but like, I want to, I have personal preferences. I want to see Baker over the Falcons. I want to see Joe Burrow over.

Imagine if the dolphins make it like if the Broncos lose and the dolphins get in, no offense to the dolphins fans, but like, I want to see the Bengals. I'm sorry. I want to see the Bengals.

Yes. Okay. We're going to get to the Jets game, and Hank is about to join us. Before we do that, PFT, you had a couple quick ads.

Okay, we're back. I've changed locations. Hank has joined us, and the Washington Commanders are officially in the playoffs. Congratulations, PFT. We watched the end of that game. It was crazy. You're in the playoffs.

Yeah, his drive to tie the game was awesome. But then Jaden Daniels' drive in overtime was incredible. And you're in the playoffs. That was an incredible drive. That was everything that this whole year has been. He's been insane. And now you're in the playoffs. Hank lost a bet. But he now is all in on the Super Bowl. It also changed...

essentially all of next Sunday because the Rams have clinched the NFC West officially. The Bucs are winning get-in. And then, like, you guys are set. So there was, I don't know, maybe like three or four games that were maybe going to be more meaningful.

I'm not worried about the Rams. They're not that good. You're fine.

Yes. But you're putting what's more likely to happen. The Washington Commanders beating Cooper Rush and the Cowboys or the Chicago Bears beating the Green Bay Packers? Don't put that on me. I can't handle that.

You don't need them to. I can't handle that. There's nothing I can do. There's no chipping in. They're not doing anything. They're not even going to show up to the game. You guys are going to beat the Cowboys. You're going to play the Rams. You're going to beat the Rams. And then you're going to play... The Eagles? I don't know. What's wrong, Max? Max is putting his hand up.

No, well, not anymore, buddy. Oh, no, Max. Yeah, now you're going to be playing – so wait, who would Max play?

Yeah, but just win. No, but just lose because we want Commander's Eagles for the show.

I want the Eagles too. Yeah, we want Commander's Eagles for the show, Hank. Come on. So maybe, you know what, maybe the Bears will – I can't even say it with a straight face. They're not going to beat the Packers, dude.

Oh, yeah, they would be. Okay, so, yeah, we need Commander's Eagles. The show needs Commander's Eagles. The show should be rooting for Commander's Eagles. So that means that the show.

Yes. Okay. I can live with that. I can deal with that. That's still not true. Max is heartbroken right now. It would be Commander's Vikings. Oh, yeah. No, it wouldn't be Commanders Vikings. Those are two wildcard teams.

No, the Commanders and Eagles are not going to play in the playoffs unless they play in the NFC Championship game. Yeah. Okay. All right. We need Commanders Eagles. Yeah, we do.

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And now to the saddest game of the day. Western New York, the Bills and Jets memes was there.

Actually, Max, that's not true because the Commanders are the sixth seed right now. How could they be a million times better than the Packers when the Packers are the seventh seed?

What is this playoff? I don't know why in my head. It's so great because Max literally has spent the last month being like, oh, I'm so stressed out. The commanders could be bad for my life and everything. But now it's setting in that he might have to play the Packers, and he is terrified of the Packers. Terrified.

I don't like you on my side in the playoffs. But I'm going to be on. If this sets up, I'm going to be on both of your sides big time. If the commanders play the Rams, I'm going to be fucking burgundy and gold. And then the Eagles play the Packers. We're going to be doing Kelly Green shit. Yeah, that's bad for both of you actually now that I'm playing this out in my head.

On Saturday?

Yeah, they always try to link those up. And then Sunday Night Football, I would assume, would be Vikings-Lions for the one team, right?

Yeah, that does kick ass because that's such a massive game. Congrats, PFT. That's awesome. That was an insane drive by Jaden Daniels at the end of the game.

Yeah.

So, yeah, here's a recap. 12 of the 14 playoff spots are set. In the AFC, Chiefs, Bills, Texans, Ravens, Steelers, and Chargers. In the NFC, Lions, Vikings, Packers, Eagles, Commanders, and Rams. The NFC South champion is still to be decided, Bucks and Falcons. Bucks win, they're in. Bucks lose and Falcons win, Falcons are in.

And then the Broncos, Dolphins, and Bengals will get the last AFC wildcard spot, which... Again, no offense to the Dolphins. It has to be Broncos or Bengals. I can't – like that would be such a bummer if the Broncos lost and the Dolphins won and the Dolphins got in because I feel like that would surprise a lot of people too. Because it's been all about the Bengals.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean I – Yeah, I mean, if the Bengals get in, that's just a super awesome wildcard weekend of competitive games because you have two seven seeds that could beat the two seeds in the Bengals versus the Bills and the Packers versus the Eagles.

And, Max, it's pretty simple. So they have the same record, but the Commanders are 8-3 in the conference, and the Packers are 6-5, and that's the tiebreaker. Two teams not in the same division, the tiebreaker is conference. Got it.

Yeah. But, man.

Well, actually, technically they're not. No, PFT, do not concede that point. You're the 6th seed. The Packers are the 7th seed. The commanders are better than the Packers.

It's not even division winning. It's not like an 8-8 NFC South team is higher. You guys are both wildcard teams, and you are better than them.

This just got me so juiced up for playoff football. I mean, Packers-Eagles first round. Holy shit, what a game.

The Packers looked like shit yesterday. Imagine that, Max. One of those teams, they started their season with them, and then they ended their season with them. Wow.

All right.

But you thought you were going to get to play the Commanders first. Yeah.

All right. Congrats to PFT. Commanders in the playoffs. All right. Let's get back to the games. Bills 40, Jets 14. Where do you want to start memes? Do you want to start with the Jets coming out? Aaron Rodgers is a bitch.

Yeah. I was going to say, though, Gangster's Paradise, that was quite something.

No. What was the alternate angle?

That's tough. What about Garrett Wilson's quote? Did you see Garrett Wilson's quote? He said, I always feel like we go out there, the vibe feels right, we're ready to play, then we get our asses kicked.

And if Aaron Rodgers is on the team, you don't have Garrett Wilson.

And he also just went for his third straight year, 1,000 yards. He's awesome. You want to keep Garrett Wilson more than Devontae Adams.

So now he's the GM.

Thanks, memes. Down to Jacksonville where, yes, people actually paid to attend this game. Drug Peterson needed a win in this battle between Crack Jones and Free Basin Rudolph, but none of this game rocked. Biden, more time. Peterson won't be a job hunter quite yet. Calvin Coolidge-Ridley and Brian Thomas Jefferson had a tasteful homage to the late Jimmy Carter as neither went over 100.

He's locked in. Like 24 hours.

Okay.

Yeah. No, not top five and everything.

That's true. And he also benched himself.

Memes, you're in the same spot as me that as much as it hurts to say because I wanted Eberflus fired, you wanted Salah fired, I think we probably both would have won more games if they didn't fire the coach.

Not like a ton more, but like maybe two more. Which is crazy to say, but it's probably the truth. Because it somehow got worse after – like usually you get a little bounce. We got worse after firing the coach.

Yeah, I also think PFT, it's also not a 4-11 team thing.

Yeah, it didn't matter. I mean, it was 40-0 in this game. By the way, shout out Mitch. One for one, 69 yards, touchdown. No big deal. Also, Bill's locking the second seed. They don't have to play anyone in Week 18. They can get a little mini-buy. Also, Josh Allen just tied the record for most rushing touchdowns for the Bills. 65, Thurman Thomas. I hope he wins MVP. My personal choice is him.

But I also feel like this MVP discussion is just going to get so ugly. And he's been insane this year. And their defense, Bill's defense looked good. I don't know if that's much the Jets' offense looked bad, but the Bill's defense did look better than they've looked the last couple of weeks.

And much like our nation's capital, the refs need to lower the flags and let this game end.

Like, I feel like he pretty much locked it up today, but, but we've, we, we, before and Hank was had a flight issues. We made the case for Joe Burrow earlier in the, in the show and, Because Joe Burrow is doing stuff that literally every time a quarterback's done it, they've won MVP. And he also – PFTU just said the schedule. Joe Burrow does get a standalone game on Saturday night.

If he goes off against the Steelers and it's like the Bengals did everything they could, like – It would be crazy because you could possibly have an MVP that's not even in the playoffs, which doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, has that ever happened? It's happened. Who – there was a – I got to look it up now.

But it's become – the MVP kind of sucks now because it's just the quarterback of the one or the two seed. That's just what it is. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it would be having a standalone game week 18 if you're Joe Burrow and you have like an entire broadcast where they're talking about you and if you go off, that definitely could help him.

Yeah. Okay. I'm looking it up right now. 97, Lions went 9-7, and co-MVP was Barry Sanders. I'm trying to see if there's any other ones. So, yeah, that's probably – I mean, it doesn't happen anymore. That just doesn't happen. You have to win like 12, 13 games to win MVP. Okay. So Joe Burrow's probably not going to win it. Josh, I hope, wins it.

Lamar probably will end up winning it because, again, we talked about this. It's narratives, and Lamar played a couple standalone games at the end of the season, and that's how it gets decided. Okay, anything else, memes?

Yeah. The memes you're you and I are just the same where it's just like get get this hell season over with. Like wake me up when we hire a new coach and then wake me up again at the draft.

No, that makes no sense. I've wanted the season to be over for a month now, a month and a half. Since Thanksgiving, I've been like, get me out of this season. You've probably been longer than that.

It's fucking bullshit. You know what's bullshit about the tank-a-thon and how they decide it? If you play a harder schedule, you should get – I guess that doesn't make sense because if you play a worse schedule and you have a bad record, that means you really are worse. All right, I get it. I understand it. Yeah, that makes sense. Strike that from the record. But I got mad about that too, memes.

We're the same person. Yeah. We should just sit down and have a long talk when we get back.

What did Hank do?

Well, I don't know if they're going to hold on to it. Yeah. I have a prediction. I think the Cleveland Browns are going to get the number one pick.

I think the – if they start DTR, I do not think you can win a football game with DTR. the Bills are going to play the Patriots. The Bills are going to – like the Bills have every – why wouldn't they try to lose that game? Like they don't want the Patriots to have the number one pick.

I understand, but you don't – if you're in a division, you don't want to give them the number one pick and you have the coach trying to keep his job. So he's going to try to win that game with a rookie quarterback. And then the other one is the Titans playing the Texans. Texans aren't going to play anyone.

Also a rookie coach trying to keep his job, which I don't think he should get fired, but probably try to keep his job. I think the Browns could get the one. I think it could. I think he could find a way to sneak in there.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you'd have a bidding war. Depends on how much – I don't know if this quarterback class would be – People might not be trying to trade multiple number one picks to trade up in this.

Yeah, it just depends on what other teams are behind you and what other teams are willing to do. Because if you're not totally sold on Shador Sanders or Cam Ward, you're not going to trade a future first-round pick to move up.

You'd definitely rather end up with the number one pick than not because at least you have all the options.

Yeah, very funny. Nick Wright tweeted that would it be so crazy if the Patriots traded Drake May, drafted Shador Sanders. Because they traded Drake May, they got another pick. So they trade Drake May to like the Titans. They get the one and two pick. They draft Shador Sanders. They draft Travis Hunter. And then Deion's the new head coach.

I mean, I, I like, I like taking that shot by Nick, right? Like that was, that was a fun shot. It makes no, it would never happen, but it's a fun fucking like hypothetical.

I mean, why not?

Yeah. Um, Well, let's talk about the Raiders. Raiders 25, Saints 10. The Raiders might have a quarterback.

Scott Turner's working magic. The Raiders, they got there at like 1 in the morning. There was all this flight issue. I said that it might be a Darren Rizzi cry game. They did an insane trick play in the first half to go up 7-6, and then the Saints were like, oh, yeah, I forgot. We suck.

And we suck dick, and we're going to just suck for the entire second half because Spencer Rattler played like a pretty good first half, and then it was just like, yeah, they just can't do anything.

Yeah, Mike Ditka having – the craziest part about that, and it actually goes back to our previous discussion where Mike Ditka might actually be happy this was broken because everyone would be like, holy shit, Ditka. To have a record, an NFL record stand since 1961 is insane. In a 14-game season, he just got it broken. That's a crazy record.

1961 is a long-ass time ago, and Ditka had that rookie tight end record. that Brock Bowers broke also shout out to Amir Abdullah. He's been in the league for like a decade. And I just like, I remember watching him at Nebraska and being like, I like Amir Abdul is like really good running back. He had his career high rushing today, 10, 10 years in the league.

Yeah, like the Dolphins should pay AOC like $6 million a year.

Okay, last early game, Jags 20, Titans 13. God bless anyone who went to this game because I actually – I'll say something nice about this game. I actually enjoyed watching it a little bit because it was a throwback game in the fact that when either quarterback tried to scramble, it was the funniest thing to watch like ever.

And it reminded me of like 90s NFL where like the quarterbacks could not move whatsoever. And Mac Jones and Mason Rudolph, every time they tucked it and ran – It was like watching the game in slow motion, and I got a little chuckle out of that.

Thank you, Princessa. Okay. Also, two other notes from this game. Brian Thomas is awesome. He's only the fourth rookie receiver ever to go 1,100 yards, 10 TDs. The other three, Odell Beckham, Jamar Chase, and Randy Moss. So pretty good company that he's going to be a pretty damn good pro. And the Titans made history in this game.

They are the first team in NFL history to not cover the spread in 14 games in a regular season.

They are 2-14 against the spread. That is insane.

They make that spread like you should be able to cover half the spreads.

They played the Texans, so they could win that game.

Yeah, I think they will. That is my Browns theory of the Browns somehow getting the number one pick.

He can't figure it out.

You're a Cowboys fan in week 18.

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Okay, but you can only play the wildcard teams because you won the division. So the only choices you have are Packers, Commanders, and Vikings and Lions. And you said you would rather play any other team?

I get it.

I don't think you get it.

Oh, Max, this is so sad. Come on. I'll get you pumped up. We can beat the Packers.

We'll beat them again. All right, real quick, wrapping up. Before we talk about Packers-Vikings, Dolphins 20, Browns 3. I said this on Friday, but if they keep making DTR play NFL games, just keep betting against them. I don't know. It's just an ATM. He's not an NFL quarterback.

I think so. It's crazy.

Loved watching him at UCLA. Awesome college quarterback. Not an NFL quarterback.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. And then Snoop Huntley was pretty good. He actually was really good.

Yeah, this was such a classic shitty weather Cleveland game where the Browns defense hung around as long as they could, and then it was just like, yeah, we don't have any way of winning this game. I think they got stopped in a 10-point game. They got stopped on the 10-yard line. It was just so sad, so sad to watch.

That's about it. That's it. That's it. Okay. Vikings 27, Packers 25. Hold on. I'm tweeting out right now. We're currently taping PMT, and Max just realized the Eagles have to play the Packers, and it's broken his brain. Broken it. Is that fair to say, Max?

It's broken his brain. This is the most defeatist attitude I've ever seen in someone. Like – Max, they have to come to the link. I had to pee. They have to come to the link.

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Here's what I'll say to you. Vikings 27, Packers 25. First of all, the Vikings are awesome. Sam Darnold was incredible today. His one mistake, that interception, next drive went five for five. The end of the game, when they need a first down to end the game, and Kevin O'Connell's trusting Sam Darnold to throw the ball, that says everything about it. It's not Sam Darnold like Jets Sam Darnold.

I know that this is old news, but that was the final piece where it's like, no, no, they're trusting him in big-time situations to win this game. And even with Cam Akers, who I forgot he was still around, had like two huge – last catch he made was insane, and then he scored that touchdown. The Vikings are really, really good, and I'm excited to watch them play the Lions week 18 for the one seed.

The one thing – that you have to be scared about if you're a Vikings fan, is the thing you've been scared about your whole life. Because the kicker, I've never seen someone not look like they're up for the big moment more than that guy. He's a Barstool intern kicking in an NFL game.

It's crazy. Hank, have you seen this kid? All right, I'm going to send you a picture. I want your reaction. It's – it's like, it's torturous for Vikings fans because I really do think their team is good enough to go to the Superbowl. And then they have this guy, uh, Will Reichard who kicked for Alabama and he's like a decent kicker. He missed a couple of kicks today, but it's just his face.

His face makes me think that he is going to be the guy who makes a kick for Bama though.

That guy's lining up for a big-time kick? I mean, he's a kicker. It's kickers. Still, they showed him on the sideline. He was wearing the metal wedding ring, which I don't think you're supposed to do in case your finger breaks or something. But he's like, I'm never going to get into any physical contact.

Listen, I hope that I'm wrong because that would be just so – but Vikings fans have an insanely good team. Their defense is good. Sam Donald's playing out of his mind. They have one of the best receivers. That's your kicker. And he missed one. Easy one today.

Kevin O'Connell should be coach of the year.

I think I hurt my back. Doing that. Yeah, we got to pick our boys up more.

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I'll throw this out there because our boy's down right now. He's going through it mentally. I think if the Eagles beat the Packers in the first round, we should pick up Max. Carry him off? Yep, we should carry him out of the gambling key. Yep. No, we'll do that.

Yeah.

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No, PFT. I'll pick him up with one hand.

All right, so Max, here it is, and I alluded to this earlier. I'm no longer worried about the Packers. They're a good team. I think, though, they're not an elite team. They are 0-5 against the best teams in the NFC. That's the Vikings, the Eagles, and the Lions. They make a lot of – their offense looks – Josh Jacobs has been great this year.

Jordan Love, and maybe it was Christian Watson being out, but he did not play well until late and they needed to score fast. It just doesn't look as smooth as you would like it to look going into the playoffs. Also, the whole what's going on with Zaire Alexander. Do you see him after the game? He had the big hat, which I'm pretty sure has not been cool for like five years now.

And he was like, if I was playing in that game, we would have won that game. That can't really help, right? Like that's not something you really want to have a guy who hasn't played in like a month to be saying postgame.

No, he was wearing like the big, the funny big hat. Right, right. Yeah, but I don't think – I think the Packers could like maybe win a first-round game against like an Eagles, but I don't think they can go to the Super Bowl.

They start slow, though. They did it again where they started slow. They scored three points in the first half, and it's very – you can't do that in the playoffs. You can't have a slow start in the playoffs. That's happened a lot for them this year where they've started slow and they had to play catch-up, and it's like that's – in an elimination game, you just can't do that for three rounds.

Yeah. I did like LeFleur going for it when they were down 11. He went for it for two to make it nine, which I like that. That was a good move by him. He's learning.

He had a tough day. I'll say it. He had a tough day. He started the broadcast and he was like, I think it literally started. I think he was saying something about the Packers. Like the Packers have lost to this team, this team. And then he's like, and what was the other team? It's like, how did you do a stat that you didn't even, you didn't even know the other end.

And I think he's gotten better since the beginning of the season, but today was maybe not his best day.

Yeah. Do you have the clip? I want to hear it. Memes, you have it? You're muted, Memes.

Currently, PFT, you guys are down 10, fighting, fighting hard.

Yeah, Max, you're going to beat the Packers. Don't worry. You're going to beat the Packers. They can't beat good teams.

Yeah, but if they do, if the Eagles do have to.

That's true. That's true. And the Vikings, Kevin O'Connell's coach of the year, Sam Donalds, I saw there was a report that they're basically, they have to keep him at this point. Maybe franchise tag him. He's been awesome. And again, it was like the end of that game.

When you need a – and I know Aaron Jones was hurt, but, like, still, you're like, Sam Darnold's going to win us this game throwing the ball. In situations where most teams are just trying to run it up the middle three times and hope they get a first down, Sam Darnold passed twice and – Yeah, he's – it was the thing that finally – and I've already believed in Sam Darnold.

If you remember, we had that clip from three years ago where PFT, you're like, I'm not done believing Baker. And I was like, I'm not done believing in Sam Darnold. So I've always had that in my head where I'm like, ooh, Sam Darnold. But that drive after the interception, like that – nothing rattles him now. Like, yeah, he made a bad throw. Okay.

And then he went right down the field and was hitting everyone. And it was five for five and scored a touchdown.

And Naylor.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then Cam Akers. Yeah, it was good. Okay.

That room. Daniel Jones.

Yeah. Kevin O'Connell is the QB whisperer. He's coach of the year and he is going to get paid a lot of money because I think he has like two years left on his contract. You got to resign him right now. He's one of the best coaches in the NFL and that's, he wins all the close games and the Vikings are a real threat. And I, with the way the lions have been injured, like,

The Vikings are – I feel like they might win that game on Sunday and get the one seed, which is crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, because the 98 season when they went 15-1. And they lost the NFC Championship game to the Falcons.

Fucking baby. There's Cowboys fans out there. You came out hot right there. Max hasn't said anything, but you know he's thinking it.

It was quite extravagant.

Yeah. Okay. Let's wrap up. Before we do, who's back of the week? Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. Promo code TAKE. My Roback question is, Hank, did you write a boomer? I did. Can you read it to us in a monotone voice? Yeah. Okay, great. That's what we were hoping for.

Wait, so what was your – tell us your travel day again so people understand.

So we will update because this game actually has a ton of implications, not only for the Commanders, but also for the Seahawks and the Rams. The Seahawks are hoping the Falcons win, so they have a shot in Week 18. I guess it has some... implications for my pinky as well, but week 17 in the books. Um, and we will recap this game.

Okay. Go ahead.

Yeah.

Oh, I like it. Hey, play the Texans. That was very good. Hank, what did you think about the game? There was a lot of booze. It feels, we discussed it earlier, but like Gerard Mayo, like he should be fired.

We also should say this is our first podcast that we've ever done without Jimmy Carter alive. Um, so RIP Jimmy Carter silence. Do you think it was the VACs that got him? I don't know.

Yeah.

Kraft is in that camp like Jerry Jones where I think embarrassment actually works.

George McCaskey embarrassment doesn't work because if it did, he would have quit. He would have sold the team a decade ago. But Kraft definitely is like, this is bullshit. And yeah, I mean, that was a perfect game for you.

Minus the concussion.

You got to lose one more time, which I think you're going to win that game. Yeah. I just think the Bills are going to – if you're the Bills, you should not start anyone, right, of any significance.

I was actually thinking about that. Imagine, like, this early slate. There was actually some fun games out of nowhere. Like, the Giants game was ridiculous out of nowhere. But to have that be your last... I think he died exactly at 3.40 p.m., so he might not have even seen the Giants win a home game this year. But to have that be your last NFL Sunday, that's brutal. I feel bad for Jimmy.

Here's where it comes to play. I agree with you. I don't think they go into the game being like we're going to – because you can't really tank in the NFL. You can't tell guys like we're going to try to lose. Right. If it is close at all in like the fourth quarter, I think that's when it's like they'll just run the ball up the middle and be like it's fine. You know what I mean?

Like play as conservative as possible and not tank or try to lose, but do everything that like lets the Patriots win the game.

No, you can't do it. You can't – the only time you can do it is like the second half of week 18. That's really it because guys are playing for their jobs. And so – and you also can do it in a situation where it's like you can actively sit all your starters – The Bills aren't tanking. They're playing. You know what I mean? They're playing for something going forward.

So it's like they can sit all their starters and be like, we're doing this for safety's sake and lose that way.

Actually, this is what you should be hoping for, Hank, because Gerard Mayo has proven that he's such a bad coach that if he's trying extra hard to win the game, that's probably bad.

Right. But it's like if you're trying that hard and you're bad at your job, it's only going to amplify the bad. Like you don't want someone who's bad at their job trying like extra, extra hard payments. You want them to just be.

I don't know. That's that. I mean, he refused it.

Yeah, that doesn't. Well, I guess we'll think about it. All right.

Oh, maybe it's because the Bears technically had the Panthers pick. Oh, that's probably why. That's exactly why.

Yeah, that's why.

Okay, that works. It makes sense. If you have the number one pick, your coach probably is getting fired.

But the Iberflues thing, that makes sense. It wasn't their pick. It was the Panthers' pick.

So he really, you know.

He actually went too young because he should have made it to the Super Bowl.

Okay, asterisk. Should we do who's back of the week?

Let's see who's back of the week. It's brought to you by ourselves, Pardon My Cheesesteak. Football is in full gear. And ordering Pardon My Cheesesteak for your game day meal or late night eats is the best play call you can make. Pardon My Cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks and loaded fries delivered right to your doorstep.

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In a shootout.

Club baseball is not legit. My roommate played club baseball in Wisconsin. I played club baseball. Yeah, and he would have a game, and he would wake up at noon and be like, don't you have a game? He'd be like, yeah, I'm skipping today.

I would imagine.

Yeah. For life. Sure. For life. Absolutely. All right. PFT, you're who's back.

i'll do it on wednesday's part of my take i'll pick out a game on the schedule where he's going to break the record but he could do it this year yeah friday's part of my take we don't have a show on wednesday good point friday's part of my take happy new year yeah happy new year um all right my who's back is bowl season let's talk about some college football quarterfinals also shout out the pop tarts bowl that was awesome everything they put into that um

like the strawberry Pop-Tart coming back from the dead. I saw Eddie and Clem were down there, our guys. It looked like the coolest time. Also, anyone who's upset about Cam Ward is a loser, and they're just basically looking for someone to be angry about. Malik Nabors did the same thing last year. No one was upset about it. He played until he got a record, and then he sat out.

I guarantee you that the entire Miami team knew that Cam Ward was going to play until he got the record and then sit. And I know that because... I bet Iowa State because everyone was talking about how Cam Ward was not going to play the whole game. So it was not a surprise that he sat out. And I get it. People are like, oh, well, you're watching your guy's battle out there.

He's also got millions of dollars on the line if he gets hurt. I don't understand it. Are people just coming around to the fact that bowl games are like – they don't really mean anything and it's entertainment and it's like – It's kind of stupid, but it's also fun. Like, I don't understand that. I don't understand why people are mad at Kim Ward.

There's no way that everyone on that team didn't know the plan. It just wasn't – it could not have been a surprise because, again, I somehow heard through the grapevine that that was probably going to happen. How is that – there's just no way. And not only that, if you were a person –

who complained about the college football playoff being blowouts and in the same token said Cam Ward sitting out is bullshit. You make no sense to me because this is what the college football like the if you if you're like, oh, 12 teams is too many. At least it's more games where guys aren't going to sit out. And I have no problem with Kim Ward sitting out because guess what?

That's like these games ultimately don't mean anything when a guy's projected to go top 10 in the NFL draft. Like he's got to take care of himself. Every single person in that situation would do the same thing. But the college football playoff at least makes it so more of these games, this doesn't happen. So you can't argue both those sides in my mind.

Yeah, he's transfer portal, but a little bit different.

Who gives a fuck if you played at all? I know. Well, he wanted the record, which is cool. And also, if you're a Miami player, you get to say that you were on the team that had a record. That's pretty cool. If you're an offensive lineman, you're like, yeah, I blocked for the record-breaking quarterback. That's pretty awesome. Yeah.

I think that means more probably in like 20 years than it does like we didn't win the Pop-Tarts Bowl.

A little Pop-Tarts Bowl is awesome. All right. So any picks or thoughts?

No, that was the pinstripe bowl.

That makes sense. I lost so much on that game when I was, I don't know, I was probably like 19 years old. It was like Oklahoma versus Boise State.

Yeah. That's fair. I think, I think you'll be okay. I do think Ash and Jenny will do well. I'm rooting for him to do well. Um, The game I'm actually most excited – well, the Rose Bowl is going to be awesome. I think I'm going to take Ohio State in that game, and it's mostly based on the uniforms that Oregon picked. I didn't really like them. I thought they should have done more classic.

Oh, I love them. You love them? Love them. I don't know. The Rose Bowl. I need classic uniforms, especially Ohio State-Oregon.

There's also a chance he might not be dead because he was famously just not waking up some days. So if tomorrow they're like, hey, our bad, Jimmy Carter actually still alive, I wouldn't be totally shocked.

Yeah, I could see that. I'm going to probably take Ohio State in that game. I'm probably going to take Notre Dame in the Georgia game. And then I'm very excited for Arizona State-Texas because I don't know if you guys saw Sam Levitt basically doing the thing you're not supposed to do with bulletin board material and being like, I'm going to prove that I'm the best quarterback in this game.

Something about Arizona State, I feel like they're going to run Shark Wheel to start the game. I don't know. I feel like it could happen.

Any wheel route? I'll just say it's shark wheel.

Yeah, that's all. Yeah, it's, it's all it takes. But are you guys like what games, by the way, we're streaming the January 1st game. So we'll be in the gambling cave for those.

Yeah, Notre Dame's defense is good. And they did lose – I think they lost one of their good defensive linemen, which definitely hurts. I don't know. These games are going to rock. Like everyone who complained about the first round, I think we're going to get some great games.

Yeah, the early game on January 1st. And the fact that Rose Bowl, like a classic Rose Bowl, I know they're two Big Ten teams, but that's going to be awesome. I'm so excited for that. Anything else? Oh, Georgia, memes. You going to win this game?

Okay.

Massive.

Okay, anything else? Like I said, we have no show Wednesday. We'll be back in person, though, on Thursday. We'll recap all of the games. We'll have a show on Friday. We'll be back in studio previewing Week 18. Congrats again, PFT, on making the playoffs. Thank you. Max, playing the Packers is going to be tough. We can do this, Max.

One seed. Yeah. Yes. But you could play the Bucs too, Max.

Max, you got to beat good teams in the playoffs.

It's crazy how fast you've turned.

Max, you have to root for the Cowboys on Sunday. You realize that. You're a Cowboys fan on Sunday.

Jimmy Carter famously saw Babe Ruth and Hawk Tua.

The one thing that really does suck about this is if the Packers beat the Eagles, I am just completely taking all the joy that I would have of a Max loss is just completely gone. Like, I'll be just as miserable as Max. I'll be happy. We can do this together, Max. We're going to do this together. I'm going to put a bomb on the Eagles.

Yeah. Okay, yeah, let's kick it to ourselves. Let's do numbers, and we'll see everyone on Friday.

Download the DraftKings Pick 6 app. Now use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to play $5, get 50 in Pick 6 credits. Happy holidays from DraftKings Pick 6.

15.

It's cool, though, when someone dies when they're 100 because it's just free reign to make jokes. Like 100 is way too old. Like, dude, that's just it was way too way long past your expiration, dude. Yeah, you went to like four overtimes in Buffalo Wild Wings.

Yeah, and he was an AWL, so one less listen for this episode. So someone please step up and listen twice for Jimmy. All right, let's get into games. So just to set the stage, Hank is living his Ben Mintz life right now.

He's traveling across country to New Orleans to see his favorite band on New Year's, and he's got flight issues, and then he just texted us and said that his bag is being shipped to Germany. So I don't know when he'll join us. When he does, he will have to do his boomer in monotone and also answer some questions about the Patriots. But let's start with that game. Chargers 40, Patriots 7.

That's true. That's true. Well, he didn't do his job today listening to this podcast. It's true. Yeah. Chargers 40, Patriots 7. The Los Angeles Chargers are in the playoffs. Insane turnaround by Jim Harbaugh, the king of turnarounds. These are Jim Harbaugh. So his last three jobs, he took over the San Francisco 49ers in 2011. The year before he took them over, they were 6-10, missed the playoffs.

They went 13-3, lost in the NFC Championship game. In 2015, he took over Michigan. The year before, Brady Hoke, who just didn't wear a headset on the sideline, looked like the dumbest piece of shit ever. Michigan went 5-7. He took over the team. They went 10-3. This year, he takes over the Chargers who were a dumpster fire. Remember when the Chargers lost last year by like 70 to the Raiders?

The Chargers were 5-12 last year. They're 10-6 this year. They got rid of a bunch of their really good players. Jim Harbaugh brings the culture. He brings a change. And all of this is to be said without even noting his most insane turnaround, which took two years, but Stanford football that he made a real program in two years' time. So that's what he does.

Yeah.

Something like that.

Do you remember?

32.

Cool.

epi 96 checkity checkity check check check check check um 96 we're kind of we've been stuck at 95 for i think i think we've done eight episodes at 95 well we've done eight we were saying this on the previous episode like we've been from 80s for like 87 88 to 95 for about eight episodes yeah yeah yeah and so now we're breaking out so now we're like 96. 96. So we're up.

I got on Matt's good side by the end of the game. When I showed up, he went like this to me, and I got so hurt. Damn. That's why you saw me. To start the second half, I was pleading. I think I said, I'm sorry to let you down, Cap. I think I said that. I mean, yeah. So we were just down 1-0, and then we just got good and won 6-3? Yeah. Cool. Were we dominating him?

Yeah, it's not good. It's just not good, but it is back. It is back. It's awesome that it's back.

We just, we just, yeah, we were just dominating. And then like not scoring. Yeah, not scoring. And I don't know. Cool. Did you take, did you snake? I snaked. So you did four there? Mm-hmm. You snaked a beer. That was your fourth. With my four, I'll take Batman. Yeah, I had him on my list. He's neat.

Big hero fans are probably, I could see him being, yeah.

We have to do it. I do think we have to do it because... I started doing it and I put it down.

I don't know. Because I've seen clips on that and he does, he kills the world. He snaps, yeah. He's crazy. He's the goat Joker. Yeah, he is fucking frightening. Yeah, and then I'll snake five. I like Bluetooth. I like Bugattis. But I am going to take... Am I foodless?

Quicker than I thought. I was a little bit... We both thought it was going to come back. I was worried, though, when does it come back? I was worried. I was like, is it going to be 45 days? They strike a deal in 45 days. Do we sit out those 45 days? They brought it right back, man. They brought it right freaking back. We knew it was coming back. Yeah. I'm very, very glad.

It's like, who takes baseball? Give me burgers. Okay.

I mean, I don't want the baseball. I don't want to play sports bar. Sport is boring.

And the game is slow and boring. Listen, you could try, you could try to switch it up. You could try to do something. This clock is apparently speeding the games up. I don't watch it still. And I think it's like, how can we make chess entertaining? We can't really can't. So it's like, that's an exaggerated version of it, but maybe if like LeBron played, that would be interesting. I don't think so.

I think if LeBron played, I'd probably watch. I'd watch his at-bats, and then I'd not watch. You wouldn't. Yeah, no, that's very true. That's very true. Also, if every team had all Ohtanis on them. If it was nine Ohtanis against nine Ohtanis. I would definitely watch that. They should try and clone them so each team is one guy. So, like, nine Ohtanis versus nine Trouts.

Versus nine Harpers versus... Yeah, versus nine Harpers versus who else? Who's that second baseman that's the best player? Weasley. You know, he's always, he's Astro's guy. He's like really good. Oh, the little guy? Yeah, he's a little guy. I don't know. Morab. Yeah, Morab. He's kind of like Morabite. Morabs.

And I also have breakfast here. Breakfast is neat. But you baconed up, so it's like you kind of got. I'm going to take.

Dude, I've been thinking about the bed. Like, that should be the most expensive item everybody owns. I agree. Like, what do you need more than your bed? Like, I think I might get, like, a super expensive bed. I don't mind. I feel great about it. I don't hate it at all. It improves your sleep, improves your entire life.

That's a good point. But what do they have? The freaking note master, number master bed, sleep master, sleep number, sleep number bed. Sleep number. Like, does that help? I don't know.

I think it's algebra.

Algebra one, algebra two. Algebra two. It's a course. And then how do you prove that? And then once you get done, they give you a bet. I think that's what sleep number is.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. But I don't, I think my credits, I don't think my credits transferred. So what? You have to... I have to take Algebra II again. And then you can do Sleep Master? And then I can get Sleep Number. Just do Sakamoto and knock it out. You think? Yeah, I think just do a summer course and then go to Sleep Number bed class. Just haven't put them out for a long time. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, man. Fuck.

I'll do it. Yeah, you should do it. I'll be happy if you did it. Yeah. But that's that.

I like butter. Dude, butter. Bluetooth and Bugatti were my two. Bluetooth is really good.

Bluetooth. Should have been chosen. And it also, I think we've done things we don't understand. I'm sure we took Bluetooth. Bluetooth is crazy. What the hell? I don't know, dude. What are you talking about? Oh my God, dude. Have you ever done AirPlay? Uh, yeah.

Hats off to us that we didn't... put one of those dude that's what are what is today look like i don't know because some of them like like the deer tiktok shit and they're crying there were some normal ones there are some normal ones that were just like i don't like shit i were i guess follow us on our other shit that's kind of probably what it would have looked like for us

wow dude airplay what's our plan it's like you it's like it's on your phone that's on tv yeah i do it with the night scenes all the time yeah i don't know really seamless really easy yeah awesome stuff it is awesome also bluetooth it used to always be like it doesn't connect i feel like nowadays it does get everything connects connects all the time it used to you know what i mean though it used to be like you're not connected to your car yeah i think that was a car issue probably a car because i used to have that with my honda it was like like half the time i just couldn't

Yeah, and the Teslini is just quick. The Teslini is really good with it. The Teslini is almost too good with it. Sometimes it connects to multiple phones. It doesn't know what to do. I know. It just connects to everything. Yeah. It's just hungry to connect. Exactly.

It connects with friends. It connects with other cars. Yeah, if you park it, it'll get weird. It'll get handsy.

Is your Tesla like that? It's kind of like weirdly. It's like sexual with other cars. I know. Weird. I don't. Because that's a reflection of me. I know. Did it in traffic the other day.

Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, it was weird. You can't do that. It was weird.

It's gross. It's gross. If you guys have Teslas and your Tesla gets sexual listening. But all right. I got a stat. This is a crazy one, but I think you'll have fun, man. And that's what it's about. I'm going to give you three lives because we don't want you to get it right. So we're making it tough on you, but it is the top 25 players of the 25th century, according to ESPN. This was in 2024.

This is in the A? Yeah, top 25 Hoopers of the 25th century. I'm going to give you three lives. Everybody on here you can get. Wow. You might get it. So that means 2,000s on. 2,000s on. And they did guys that, like, there's some newer guys. A lot of them, it's like they've had to have at least, like, Six good years, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kobe, Shaq, Braun. Kobe, Shaq, Braun. Braun's in the one, Kobe's in the two, Shaq's in the five. Chef. Chef's in the three. Duncan. Timmy Duncan's in the four. Okay, so KD. KD is in the nine. Okay, let's do, they're going to have, they will have a Kawhi Leonard in there. Kawhi, yeah, he's in the 16th. Yeah, they will have Nikola Jokic, have to.

Jokic is in the 7th, which is good to see him start climbing that.

Allen Iverson, was he, when did he come into the league? I feel like, hmm. Allen Iverson's in the 18th. Okay, yeah, right. Chris Paul. Cliff Paul is in the 15th. You're good there. James Harden. So you've got 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 dads. 10 down. James Harden's in the 13. Giannis Antetokounmpo. Giannis Antetokounmpo's in the 11. I'm just thinking. And I don't really see where he slowed down.

You also have three fucking lines. Russ is in the 20T. Kind of low. Kind of low. He's the best player on the Nuggets. Yeah, yeah.

And all we did was we posted paint game and we said, if this is it, we love you, which is if this is it, we love you. And that, and that was because we felt, I felt insecure that I was like, do they think that we don't care? I know. I know. Because, but, but we did care, but we, we, we were 99.9% sure that it was coming back. Exactly.

He's the best player in the league. I'm just glad I never switched on him. Can you just keep going? I didn't say anything. I'm just glad I never switched on him is what I said. What do you want me to do? Just be like, yeah, I'm glad you didn't either. That's cool. What do you want me to do? I'm glad that I didn't switch up on him. Right? Yep. Thank you. I'm glad you didn't switch up.

Carmelo Antony. Not in there.

Yeah, he should have been in there. Dwayne Wade. In the eight. You know how they spell his name? Wrong. D-W-A-Y-N-E. Dwayne. I don't, yeah, it's, it's, it's right. No, it's like something wrong. It's like the Y is. D-W-Y-A-N-E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. D-W-Y-A-N-E. Yeah, wait. D-W-Y-A-N-E. D-W-Y-A-N-E.

I don't, I don't know if that's what it was. D-W-Y-A-N-E. D-W-Y-A-N-E. D-W-Y-A-N-E. D-W-Y-A-N-E. Yeah, D-W-Y-A-N-E. Dwayne Wade. Dwayne Wade. He's electric. Great player, man. Great player. Okay, let's think about it.

There's some point cards. Okay. Bad point cards or good point cards? Um... This guy, the guy in the 14 is, like, bad. He's, like, good and bad at the same time. Oh, interesting. Wow. He's, like, weird. Weird? Like, weird at shooting, but, like, good at defense and passing and, like, a good leader, and he coaches a team now. Give you the answer. Unless he got fired. He coaches a team?

Yeah, unless he got fired. Because I'm thinking J.J. Redick, that can't be right. No. I don't know if he got fired, but I know he's been a coach. And is he either still a coach? Oh, like Jason Kidd? Yeah, 14. Dude, apparently he was a really good guy. I never knew that he was good. I never knew that about him. I didn't either. I thought he was just like a good all-star.

But he's like an all-timer type guy, it seems like. Yeah, no, but it seems like he was like you had to see him type of guy.

Maybe not tough. I don't know. You can make – and you can make some – you can put some pieces together here, but it's going to be tough. I mean, if you can put one piece together, you're going to get two more guys. You don't say. Yeah. If you can connect – I'm going to – There's a guy that you've said that you should connect to the other guys too. Steph Curry? You can connect one guy to him.

Clay Simpson? They didn't put Clay Simpson. That's going to cost you your second life. Clay Simpson is not in there. Say it. Draymond? Draymond Green is in the 22. And Clay Simpson isn't on there. Dude, fuck that. They have something against Clay. Clay Simpson is the second best shooter ever. Yeah, he is. But also he... He had six good years and now he's bad. And he got bad.

So it was like, do we post a goodbye when we, I don't believe it's going away. Where do you go from like the, cause there's some like, like emotional crying.

But it wasn't his fault he got ACL'd then Achilles. Yeah, that sucks. The fact that Vinson is still playing is crazy. Dude, I need to figure out who I can connect. Yeah, connect. Tell me who to connect, man. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you who it is. I'll let you jog your own memory. Your four slot is the guy you need to connect. Tim Duncan. Yep. I need to connect him with

Manu Ginobili? Connected with Manu in the 17, yep. What? Manu was fucking really good. They just did a weird thing. They didn't play him for like 20 seconds. He also won a bunch. Is he really better than Damian Lillard? I think Damian Lillard doesn't win ever. If your basketball team wins and you're the second or third best player. So that's kind of probably why they had Draymond.

He could have been in there, though. He was like the f***ing best center for... He's really good. Ray Allen in the 20s. I didn't know that about him. Tony Parker, Draymond Green, Russell Westbrook, Pau Gasol, and then Luka just snuck into the tournament.

that shit was crazy and then like but in their goodbye like they're like and I'm like dude it's going you're going to be able to post on this app tomorrow yeah I don't get it and I was I got targeted a lot by Joe Mel and the fam we have the same FY Pizzy so you were probably seeing them did you see their stuff and it was just like thank you and goodbye and this is our last TikTok ever and I kind of want to see like did they post today that is crazy did they post like him saying coffee

Him over Tatum is interesting. Tatum's got a range.

Very true. But that's that. Let's see. Should we go into a little news? I think the only other news other than talk is just we could talk UFC yesterday.

Really, really fun.

Time in. Yeah, this pod is brought to you by Underdog. We went three for three yesterday.

So who do the Chiefs play?

Give me the Chiefs and then who do the, what's the other game?

Oh, wait, they played. Yeah. Today.

Eagles play today. But the Eagles play today.

I think we should try and get all the UFC ones right every time.

So, yeah. If you want to call in what hit us, send us a DM. Send us a DM. Also... What should the word be? Maybe dinosaur? Dongle? Dongle. Yeah, Dongle. So send us Dongle. That's spelled D-O-N-G-L-E.

N as in numbers. G as in giddy. L as in loser. E as in erectile dysfunction.

um so dms dongle if you want to come on where i think i don't know if it's this week they're giving us the partner pack danny yeah i that will be electric for the i'm very excited for that the breadstick that makes the picks it's like your picks will be the bread basket pack 100 so yeah so we're gonna get we'll get one of those packs you guys have seen them where it's like somebody's picks they're gonna give us one i think but it'll be theirs yeah but it'll be your picks um yeah but then let's talk about you let's talk some ufc

Yeah, so Kevin Holland just folded. Tough. Just kind of lost. That wasn't a great fight.

Bad way to start the year. He wants to be very active this year. He's trying to fight Rampage Jackson. He's like a UFC legend.

Oh, is he not retired? I think he's like iffy. He's got like a pod or something. Yeah, that's where I saw it. Then the next one was like another heavyweight one. I don't know those guys. Then we had... Jiri. Jiri versus Jamal was great. Great fight, man. We were saying this the whole fight. We were like, great bout, man.

Five and five. It was very, very close. Even a match bout. And just Pereira's just better than him. So they just should fight.

Did you see Jerry staring at Pereira during that interview? So funny. I actually love him. I'm not going to lie.

Yeah. Did you see his interview?

They're like, what are you going to do tonight? And he said, I got two guys from my village that came here, and they're very interesting guys, and we're going to go back to my hotel, and I'm going to show them something. And that's what he said. I mean, let's roll it, honestly. Dalton, roll it.

I mean, maybe. I don't know. I guess it's not bad. Yeah, like they're saying we love you and bye.

That's what he said. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, do what you got to. I don't know what that means. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So he said that.

So from his village?

Where the fuck is this guy from?

That's insane. He's big on like, what's the, is it like black magic or something? I just don't know. He's like big on like some voodoo shit. But yeah, it was a great fight. That's good. We got that one right as well. We got that one right on finishes. Electric fight, dude. Electric fight. And then Marab and Umar stay on the feet for five rounds, man. Danny, am I crazy?

Umar had his hand broken the whole time. You see that?

no hand broke round one and it was like the picture is like it's his hand was fucked up danny we need a rematch we need that's the rematch and it's also like you can you now we could say we need a rematch because his hand was broke because his hand was broken but also that is part of fighting like mirab's hand didn't get broken they're both in the ring fighting it's very true i mean i i i i kind of hate that he lost but at this point i'm thinking mirab is really good

I do. He was the first Nurmagomedov to lose. Khabib's like 29-0. There's some other guy that's like 16-0. He's like 19-0. And apparently they were like really shook. Did you see Islam, like his walkout? Everyone's saying he like looked really sad because Islam's like with him and it seems like he's like really sad about it. I didn't know.

He would. You know what's funny? They asked Jerry who's going to win, and he said he thinks Umar and Nurmagomedov are going to win. He just said both, and he just didn't say. He just had no idea. He didn't know what was going on.

He said Umar and Nurmagomedov.

I don't know. I think maybe they were just like... Fuck it. Or like, if it were gum, we want to make sure we say bye.

Yeah, the sub in was not good.

He got paid more than Islam, though. I think when you're back up, the pay is really high. Nobody wants to do it.

He got paid $250, Islam $200. What? That's a thing I saw. He's got to get way more than that. It might be wrong, but that's what I saw. And then Peyton Talbot lost. He's like the prospect.

Like, that's Frank Ocean's boy or something? They seem like they're similar to each other.

Did you do any dive into that guy? It sucks that guy lost. He's a cool guy.

Yeah. But UFC, though, you can lose and then figure it out.

Islam's lost, like, early in his career. That's crazy. And then he just wins all the time now. What else we got? I don't know. Any other news? Any other stuff we want to say about TikTok? Any TikTok predictions we want to make?

We're not out of the woods.

It could get pulled again tomorrow. But that's just not the conversation on TikTok. It's just what? We're fucking back.

I do, too. But I do think we're going to get something done. Also, the guy who's now our president is like, I want TikTok to stay.

So they're just doing... They're doing us logging back into TikTok content now.

Which, by the way, I keep seeing those tweets and I go to his Twitter and they're not there. It's his own. It's Truth Social. It's his own shit. Oh. I don't. Sick.

It's his own platform? Yeah. I just hope whoever buys it. Or you know what I hope for? Did you see he wants a 50-50 USA? That's what I want. That's neat. That's cool. Because then we could probably keep Algo. Well, it's like, I need the Chinese to stay involved, unfortunately. Like, listen, love me some America. I mean, I really like their systems, man.

It seems like they got this shit nailed down. They got the X's and O's. They know what they're doing. They do. And it seems like we do not.

It's buns, dude. It's bad. It's buns. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the interface. I don't know. They have a nice DM system. They still are the coolest thing. Yeah, the DMs. I will say. They have a nice DM system. They're still the most legit to be mass followed on. I would say so. You know what I mean? Yeah. If you have a million Instagram followers, it's legit. Yeah.

That's good. That's good.

Not that talk isn't. Yeah. It is. Yeah. But people definitely see it differently. Yeah. It's harder to do, I think.

Yeah, so I like what they're doing there. But yeah, real scroll. So you just went on your FY Pizzy? Dude, I... What were you getting hit with, targeted with? I don't even know. Also, the comments on there are like mean. I know.

Yeah. Should we get into some cues here? Cues, cues. Cues.

all right zach this is jack um he's just here to do a blind ranking of 2000s nba players love it and we just did the stat of the day was just about 2000s players so you should have a lot of them fresh in your head um and there's no like really crazy tricks coming from this guy he's just giving you five to lead it off on your blind ranking we have cliff paul

Yeah, everybody is.

And it was fun to watch. Fun to watch. The little elbow jumpers like crack. So good.

He was such a 18 and 11 every year.

But a really effective 18 and 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like two steals. An 18 and 11 that you like to have around. For sure, for sure. Up next, we have Andre Iguodala.

He's not overrated. He just... He was really good and then we made him too good. We gassed him up like he's too good. We traded for him and apparently... I don't listen.

I remember that actually. Now I remember that.

All right. Dwayne, how do you, so his name is Dwayne Wade.

Yeah, it's spelled confusingly. Dwayne Wade. Two. Where did you put Cliff?

Yeah, I don't know either, but it's, are we 90 day extend?

Okay. So two for Dwayne Wade?

Okay. Now we have Tim Duncan.

I think you did a pretty good job. Who do you have? You have four? I got a four slot. Ray Allen.

That was five or five. And then he said PS cheese is overrated. I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so. I don't think so, man. I understand how highly rated it is. Quite frankly, Jack, I think it's underrated. I don't think I wouldn't go that far.

I don't. That's saying.

I would say is Drake underrated? Yeah. Okay. Is LeBron underrated? No. Okay, and I think cheese is looked at like LeBron. I think. Are dogs underrated? Maybe. It's hard to say. It's hard to say. I know what you're saying, though. Yeah.

We're not on the application store. I don't, I saw that. We're not, we weren't on app store.

I think that's great. I think that's a great take.

I just don't think, deodorant's just not in those like great item conversations. But it's, but Denny, like Calogne is in more of those conversations than deodorant, which is not fair, man. Deodorant plays every day.

Oh, where they're just going to be like, we're f***ing done because we're not appreciated.

Think of how much Calogne gets paid in comparison to... Exactly.

Calogne's... Right. Do you think the deodorant lockout happens in our lifetime?

Like 10 years type shit?

I hope it's, I hope it stays.

And you think they're going to say, we're not playing under armpits anymore?

I think we'll pay it. I guess it depends on who's in office and what they want to do. That's politics. That's above our pay grade.

I think the deodorant. That's a scary thought.

It's a scary thought. We got Jack. It's another blind rack, but I like this blind rack, so let's do it. He said, blime rank these five people based on how likely they are to permanently join the podcast. Okay. So let's see what you got here. First, we have your sisters. Permanently? Permanent join? Yeah.

So it's still not on. I hope it stays as the talk. We know also CapCut users. I really feel for you.

I mean, that's for you to decide.

Because we know them. Right. I got no problem with that. I think you're going to be happy with that. We know them pretty well. We know them. It's almost like we're related.

So we probably have, if I had to guess, seven Epis to 100.

We met like four years back. Our sisters? Yeah. Yeah.

Two or three years. Yeah, I've known him for, yeah. But it feels like we're like in a family. Yeah.

I don't just say that with anyone. Yeah, they really are like sisters to us. Yeah. Up next, we have Nick Jonas. Really unlikely for him to join.

But we've had him on. Yeah, exactly.

He also has brothers.

He'd probably do one with his brothers before us.

Nick Jonas. A wild career. BB Pod with Nick Jonas. But listen, Nick, if you're watching, you're welcome. I would have him permanent if you wanted to imagine he hits us. I would permanently have you as a third chair. To the Bread Basket Pod. We'd add you in. So that offer's on the table. It's on the table for one week. Yeah, one week. Because we don't need it that bad. Then we have Waluigi.

Derek texted me. He said CapCut's down. Not even anything about TikTok.

This is one where the fictional stuff is fun, but it's like, how do you... Then it gets confusing. I'm going to put him in the five. Because he's not real.

But it's not likely.

For sure. Up next, we have Eric Gordon. Just a good NBA vet.

Two. Over Jonas.

And he's like, now I'm not playing hoops. I want to get into the content space more.

So he's like, I'll just use these guys.

Yeah. That's another one, Eric Gordon. One week. No, actually three days. Three days. You have three days if you want to join our podcast permanently for the rest of your life. I think he's still in the NBA. He's bad now, though, right? I don't know. He unfortunately got bad. Yeah. He was really good with the Rockets. Yeah, very good. He shot like corner threes. Very interesting form, I remember.

But I think he edits on CapCut.

Yeah. Then to wrap it up, we have an Armadillo. I feel like that should be like two or one. That's pretty... Because we just put one right here. Wait, who asked this? Jack, but he has a four instead of an A. He also started... I'm sorry I didn't read this. He started this with Cowabunga.

So what? That's in your four?

And then he said kazoo is a spectacular word. It's one of the best words out.

Yeah. Yeah, I like it a lot. We got Leo. And he's just kind of, it's kind of just a take complaint. I like complaints. I love complaint. Guys, send your complaints. Send your complaints. Yeah. Like wine. Wine.

Wine at us, man. He said, how come it's the fantastic year of 2025 and we are yet to have an Insta dry towel? Like I'm talking, it touches your body. And just like that, you're dry. No more dry. No more squatting for 15 minutes. What? Like I'm talking, it touches your body and just like that, you're dry. No more squatting for 15 minutes. What? The InstaTowel thing I get.

Sheen is going down.

It's like we should have something that just... InstaTowel, I was all in. Like I'm talking, it touches your body and just like that, you're dry. That's great. That's the InstaTowel. No more squatting for 15 minutes. I don't get that. And then he said, Henry Clay is a top five American of all time. Okay, so... We could talk about the towel. I don't know what he did at the end there.

I don't know.

I don't know. Squatting? Like you squat when you're wet? I don't get it at all. I don't squat when I'm wet. I haven't. I do sometimes.

If I'm in a rush.

You do dry squats?

You just squat when you're dry? Like at the gym?

I squat usually wet.

Yeah. I'll do a set of like, you'll get wet at the gym and then do it.

Maybe he's a part of some sort of thing. I don't know. It seems like he's going a little deep if he's lying. So hopefully he's not lying.

We can look it up, but I think, I think you're in the minority there with dry squatting.

I'm going to, if I'm at the gym, I'll do wet squats. You do wet squats most of the time, right? Don't lie to... Like most people do wet squats. Not most of the time. If you do dry squats, that's fine. I do wet squats. I do wet caverns. People just probably look at you when you're doing dry squats. I do. Do they look at you weird? A little bit. They're like, you're dry.

What are you doing? You're squatting? You're not dripping? You're dry, right?

But the InstaTowel thing's cool. It should be like electronic and you do it and it goes... Wait, so is he saying the towel's dry? I think he's saying how do we not have an InstaTowel where basically you get out of the shower, you put this thing on, pull it off, and you're completely dry.

Yeah. Leo blow dry. We're still figuring out the squat. He's just the squatting thing threw me off. Threw me for a loop for sure. Thanks for writing in. Keep writing complaints.

We got Sam and it looks like he like, you know, the beard issue you're having with the oil and the tape.

It looks like he conducted an experiment. Fuck, this is what we need, man. This is why we podcast on the interwebs. Exactly. Yeah. This is why we do shit on the interweb. This is why we are on the interweb.

We didn't know we were going to be on there, but this is why. I was just a young kid trying to make it on the interweb.

Now, luckily, we've got a fan base that watches us on the fucking interweb. On the interwebs. Yeah. And does beard experiments when I am struggling. The interweb can connect people to beautiful things and solutions.

Dude. This is what the interweb was made for.

People show a lot of the bad sides of the interweb. Exactly. This is the good, bright side of the interweb.

Yeah. Thank you, interweb.

He said, I conducted a science experiment regarding your beard oil and mouth tape issues. Yes. And I didn't proofread this, so we'll see what he's doing.

I started by grabbing a piece of super sticky duct tape and put it on my arm. Okay. It stuck tightly to my skin as it should. Probably hurt like a bitch to pull that off. This is what I'm saying, though. He's putting his arm on the line. I then rubbed a very light amount of extra olive oil on my skin. Okay. I don't know if that's the same thing.

Next, I took a piece of super sticky duct tape and placed it on the lightly oiled skin. I'm following.

The piece of tape did not stick.

At all. It's oil. Explaining why your tape isn't working. Well, I knew. Yeah, but we're saying like four days later. Why doesn't it? He said, good luck, friends. Sam. So he's just basically confirming that I'm not crazy. He's confirming. Yeah. Yeah, I think the thing with the... The crazy thing is that you washed it off and shit.

It's just like the hairs, it's like they just eat the oil, I feel like.

So you got to shave your mustachio, which you don't want to fully shave the mustache.

Of your mustachio. Mustachio. But then your mustachio will look weird.

Want your mustachio to look weird?

But you don't do it for the mouth tape.

We got Breadstick Saka.

Bread Kayo Saka is what it is. Yeah, dude. I read it wrong. So we got Bread Kayo Saka. He said, and so Bread Kayo Saka has been asking questions for a long time and he's on a two pod answer streak. That's sick. Yeah, but we threw him into the fire a little quick, I think. He said, after scoring two cues answered in back-to-back pods, I'm sad to announce I've suffered a pulled loaf.

So we threw him into it. He wasn't ready. He said, this injury will likely have me sidelined for two to three pods. I've been dealing with the tweaked loaf for a couple pods now, but thought I could comment through it. Yeah, you don't want to do that. You don't want to comment. If you tweak your loaf, sit for a couple weeks. Honestly. Because we want you long-term asking questions and commenting.

Yeah. But people are saying like. You know what I've kind of learned though is nobody knows anything ever. Nobody knows anything. Nobody knew anything except for the hundred people that know it. But like all the headlines were like, just like ended up not being anything. I know.

We need you at Epi 150. He said, if rehab goes well, I will be back before Epi 100. Until then, keep me in your thoughts. I would say, give it till... I'd wait till after 100. Just to be safe. Just to be safe.

And we have good docs. Go to our doc.

Five years down the line, you'll be pissed. Yeah, you want to get a question on Epi 97.

Yeah. I get that, but I don't think it's honestly worth it at this point.

We want you guys healthy.

That's all. I've tweaked a bun. Yeah, yeah. Zach, in high school, you had a lot of bun tweaking issues.

yeah Jackson Foley's got an interesting one he says how many minutes could you go if at the start of every minute you needed to eat one baby carrot okay I said one little little carrot guy

No, you couldn't. Yes, I could. You know what I'm going to add? You can use ranch. You can use ranch. I'm going to add that. But that's going to cost you. After freaking 20 carrots, you're going to be too full. I could go for weeks. Let's look up how many calories. So I have to wake up every hour that I'm sleeping? That's every minute, brother. Oh, we said every minute. Yeah.

yeah oh yeah uh i could go like you could go for your whole life it was every hour i thought you said every hour i could go like two hours oh dude yeah and also like i think oh only four calories though so it's not gonna be a calorie issue i don't like carrots that much though i don't like carrots either i actually am a carrot hater i'm not a carrot hater i'm gonna go i would go like 20 minutes i'm gonna be like ew carrots it's not it's not it was like my issue with carrots is like

I'm chewing, I'm chewing, I'm chewing, I'm chewing. When is this? When is this? I don't mind the chew.

I'm just saying, where's the, where's the taste? Where is the taste?

Yeah, I like, but I like the pace of the comeback.

No, no, no. I was singing Where's the Love. Oh. People can't, carrots can't, carrots dying. And if the carrots what he preached. Yeah, I mean, I don't like carrots and I think they're really. So 20 minutes. Honestly, it might be two minutes because you're like, ew. No, it's like you chew a carrot for two minutes. It is a lot of chewing. And it's never ready to go down. Yeah, it's not.

I could go two hours. I could go two hours. Yeah, I guess. All right, Brett VanVleet is writing in. I've seen him the past, like, three pods. He's, like, really pissed because he just hasn't been getting answered. Yeah. Have you seen that? I haven't seen it. He just hasn't been getting answered. Well, I don't know his material. Like he usually writes in like banger.

His material is just like, let's go to live from Mexico pod. I'm devastated to have lost MVP to scrub like blue Jay. I'm going to have to go harder this year. Like, do you want me to, what do I do with that material?

So now he's asking, he's just confused. And I'm glad we're reading this. Cause I think he's like, am I going crazy? Like what's going on? He said, uh, He said, am I on suspension? I'm very disgruntled. I weep when I'm left out of the pod like I'm some replaceable role player. I'm an MVB talent. Yeah, you are. And y'all should be thrilled to answer my burning questions. I agree.

I would say just get back to... You're one of the best commenters we've ever freaking seen, Brad. And I don't think we tell him that enough. No, we don't. Maybe it's one of those words where you've got to tell him you love him. Words of affirmation might be his love language.

So, yeah, I think just return to your bag, though. Yeah, get in your... He's doing this angry bag. It's not working.

He's not.

Look, so this is the Paw before. I need more minutes. I need more minutes. I'm very disgruntled.

I think it just- It seems like maybe Donald said, yo, you're not getting fined. We're not dishing out fines, but I thought Joseph said the same thing. I thought Joseph went ghost-o. You didn't go ghost-o mode? No, but Joe was like, they're not going to get fined, I think. He said, oh, so we're not enforcing.

A lot. Like a lot.

I think it's going to take a lot for it to go from I'm getting pranked to it's my birthday.

Let's figure this thing out.

I don't know, dude. I don't know the number. I think we get... If strangers are doing it, I think it's a prank still. I think once it gets to like 300, 400... Yeah. Yeah.

And then 800, give me my, give me my birth certificate.

So what you're saying at a thousand, you think the birth certificate is counterfeit?

That's what you're saying. I think so. So you think it's four digits? You think it's 1,000 people?

I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to stick with 58. I don't know.

Uh, yeah, I think, I think MVP voting is just, it's voter fatigue. Like I think Yoke should have like five. Exactly.

He would not have won seven back to back, even if he didn't go to the, no, but if it was, if it was the right voting, it would have been LeBron would have nine.

Yeah, Yoke would have six.

The fourth, fifth best player in the league.

Jokic is the MVP.

So they have Shea right now?

Yeah. And then they take a couple years off, and then they can win again. So that's where Yoke might win. How many years have been since Yoke's won? Two or three?

Oh, he won last year? Yeah. Yoke won again last year? He just has three, so he won't win a fourth. Oh, he won two, and then he didn't win, and then he won a third.