Host 5

Lass ihm wissen, wer Chris ist. Das ist der Goldene, der HBO für die besten HBO-Schläge gedreht hat. Von Sopranos, The Wire. Oh, wow. Also er ist einer von diesen Leuten, wirklich. Er sieht ein bisschen.

Es ist immer so.

Hold on, hold on.

Ich habe nichts damit zu tun.

Er sagt, trink mein Blut.

Ich meine, das ist... 14 Wortschriften, 25 Nominierungen.

Ich und er.

Nein.

Ich habe gesagt, du machst das nicht.

Yeah. I don't know. That was good.

Oh, sorry. We never got to that. Yeah, so I'll get there.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's a mirror of what is happening. Sometimes we're in front of it.

Shut the fuck up.

He's like, this is what they want us to say tonight.

And I'm like, it's terrible. And he's like, yeah, we're not fucking doing that.

It's so different from the perception. You have to understand.

You better go.

Yeah, to a degree.

But there's also this interesting thing with him.

Yeah. But it's live TV. But on Vince? Yes. I'm going to, he knows I'm going to cut a promo on him and he's going to be out there because at this point he's still an interviewer. That's right. He hasn't become the boss.

You're insulting people's religion.

Now it's become a date.

Play safe.

Well, and even just think about it this way. If you're trying to piss them off, but they start to like you... Awesome. ...that's why you find a lot of cool bad guys. This is DX. Yeah.

He goes, if they roll up with a truck full of wrestlers here, he goes, open the fucking door up and let them in. What show are you going to watch? The one with no wrestlers on it or the one with all the wrestlers on it?

You pussies won't let us in.

It could. It could.

It's also hilarious that you call it a tank. Yeah. It's not a tank. It's a wrangler. Yeah.

They just didn't.

This will work.

Just this one guy.

You gotta get this video. It's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. So you going, I do. Yeah.

Yeah. She's great. Yeah.

We believe you.

So, you know... Does he react at all when you say, like, do you see an eyebrow raise or anything?

What was the deal with you and Triple H?

What does he hit you with? He just started hitting me with creative stuff. Hey, we're thinking about doing this in the show. And it wasn't my shit.

You understand.

Yeah, I guess.

So now you've got to do it.

So I can't go too long.

Oh, just great. Yeah. Oh, just great.

Business is different now.

What a horrible guy.

You know what I mean? It feels unfair.

But like sometimes taking that time away is a good thing.

I'm just watching the game. I got money on this.

You want to hang out? Sit down, man.

Anybody ever, like I brought up the Ortiz, anybody ever hear that guy prior to that fight? No.

We are going to do that, but I can't do it today. The thing's not for six weeks still. I got to do it down here where, you know, like you can't give them the payoff in week one.

I didn't even know that was a thing. It just seemed odd to me. Right.

Right. Yeah. So, so, but, but I was, you know, I was kind of like, well, it is what it is.

But the top star comes and says, like, hey, so-and-so is here, right? Yes, he is. Where's he sitting? Over there. Hey, would they move him over here? I'd like to address him in the crowd.

Also because if you get knocked out, this becomes his podcast. There's some potential upside. Exactly.

I mean, I'll definitely be there.

And was the Garden of Eve... Do it more... And was the Garden of Eden found on an ancient mountain in the Himalayas? Yeah.

Welcome back, Corey. Thank you. You looking good, bud. You looking good. Yes, you looking good.

Whoa. Show us the back there. Have you seen my dad?

Hey, bud. Just gabbing.

Oh, Andrew. What?

Yeah, you want to do a song? Yeah, do the throwback.

Chuff, chuff. Chuff. Who said that? It's me, the poop man.

Very cinematic, Andrew. I keep seeing it.

And was Facebook actively working with the communists of China? I don't know!

I set us up for failure.

may disturb you. If any of you know what these multi-decade UAP losses are, you're gonna have a heart attack when you see your eyes broken.

Fish pics. There's a massive police response.

Oh, my God. Dolphin silence. Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah. Does that just like... Yeah, it does. That's terrible, Corey.

Oh, my gosh. Is that what you just said? That's just what he just said. Is that what you're saying? I think that's what he's saying. And the front lines where there's an army of bears potentially? Potentially.

You know why they do it, right? It's because or why the Egyptologists say that whatever his name is. It's like.

Yeah. It's because they take pride in the fact that Egyptians built it. Yeah. Instead of the theory that the Egyptians came across it. Yeah. Like they found it. Yeah. And then they built their city around it.

The Sphinx thing made me upset, too. What about it? The gold? With the smaller head?

No, they didn't talk about that. No, you're talking about how it was originally a dog head or a lion's head or whatever? No, they didn't talk about that. But people speculated that there's a buried chamber or room underneath the Sphinx, but it's under the front paw. Mm-hmm. And whatever that guy's name is. Zahi Hawass. Zahi. See, I was close. I said Zah. Or Hawass. I heard Zah. Zah. Zahi. Zah.

He's like, let me show you. And he brought Mr. Beast towards the back of the Sphinx where there's this little hole. And this hole, they both barely fit in it. If I went in there, it would have been fattening. Yeah. But he's like, see, there's nothing in here. And he's like, okay.

Yeah. It's like, what are we doing?

And it's like, that's probably what it was because he got access that is beyond belief. 100%, that's why he was able to spend 100 hours at the pyramid was for the sake of Zahi and his crew being like,

And finally, I'm like, hey, I'm picking up for Josh and Andy. And she goes, I don't have any of that. She said, I have Amy.

That's my least favorite one.

I need to earn it.

It's pretty cool. Speaking of wristbands, though, here's a risk that could ban us from the universe. Oh.

Josh and Amy. She said, so Amy, the three orders salads. I said, no. And she's like, did you look in the pickup? I said, yeah, it wasn't there. She walked me over. Salt wasn't there. She's like, are you sure it was the right location? I'm like, yeah. And I showed her. She's like, I don't know what to tell you. I didn't get it. I'm like, well, I paid for it. And then Andy paid for it.

did you guys hear about or actually we talked about this meteor a couple months ago if not like half a year ago okay which meteor it said it was the one from like one to 30 years or something like that like that it was supposed to come yeah or 2020 the meteor is called 2024 yr4 yr4 okay and it had it's the size of the statue of liberty it says 300 feet. 300 feet.

And the percentage of it hitting Earth was like 1%. But in the past couple weeks, NASA has come out and said, uh-oh, those chances have now doubled. So it's at 2.3% now that it's going to hit Earth.

um but yeah they said it's a 1 in 42 chance that it's going to hit earth and they're calling it the city killer because they said it would be a thousand times more um or the blow of it explosion of it would be a thousand times more powerful than the bomb that was dropped on hiroshima oh my gosh goodness gracious the impact yeah at least it's gonna land in new york city yeah if hollywood's right about anything

No, but their prediction, they have really no idea where it's going to hit. They said it more than likely will hit the ocean. But then there's also a chance that it could hit the moon. And they said debris from the moon could actually come and hit Earth.

We do. I mean, the moon would still be there, but just fragments of it would come off.

Well, they're saying that it could cause humongous tsunamis.

No, it would still be here, but it would be... Underwater, partially? A lot of it would be... Oh, I mean... Get a big wave. People would be destroyed.

Yeah, Mount Dora, shout out.

And he was bashing it. And you're like, it's that one. Yeah.

I don't love it. See, same thing.

Yeah. That was so scary. Super scary. Super sad. 200,000 people actually died in that event.

200,000.

200,000 people. Yeah. Dude. But they're saying this meteor, if it hits us, it'll be very much like the, we talked about it a long time ago, but the Tunguska event in Russia. Remember, it was 830 square miles of forest that were just flattened.

Long story short, I ended up hitting her. But luckily, we were gone before the police showed up. And I said, you've just lost a customer.

And people report there was just like fire and just boom. Yeah. But there was no impact crater. So it was literally just a sonic boom of it coming in.

Yeah, the impact on the atmosphere was so big that it literally just like shot like a fire vortex at the forest. That's so scary.

um nasa says no what do you mean nasa says no when did that happen like a couple days ago what so that's just giving up we have till april to observe it and then it's gone it's going to be too far for for it to be observed next time we could observe it is in 20 was it 2028 i believe

Yeah.

Yeah, so every four years it comes back. And so they're going to be able to look at it, but they're saying that it's going to be too close to make any impact to where they can move it.

They're obviously more concerned about it than they're letting on. They're like, oh, it's a 2.3% chance. But they're allowing basically any astronomer, any scientist to have access to the James Webb telescope to observe it while they can to make better predictions. Yeah.

No, he had to sit in the truck because I couldn't turn it off.

It's not that big to jolt any planet. It's basically just like it would destroy a city. Yeah. And cause earthquakes. And tsunamis. I forgot to mention that part. They said it could be a chain reaction for a ton of earthquakes.

And maybe a tsunami. Anyways, it won't destroy the Earth, but it would be not good. You could change the channel now.

Yeah, but it was disappointing.

Usually your flat earthers, when they're like, gravity is not real. How can a butterfly fly, but yet the entire ocean is stuck where it is? I don't know. Checkmate. How do you know?

I don't get it. Speaking of weird things, how about some rivers turning red? You sent that to me. I didn't look into it, though. Two rivers. Two rivers in South America.

They have no idea. They don't.

The one in Peru, they believe, could have been caused by some offshoot chemical plant. But the exact same thing is happening in Argentina, 2,000 miles away, that has nothing to do with a chemical plant. So they're like, we actually don't know how this is happening. Yeah.

You're thinking of the Prince of Egypt, the movie.

I know, but they don't talk about them using... No, somebody did a thing about it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I did pay for them.

I got confirmed on the Chase card.

You heard those dudes doing the prophecy in those churches. Like, in the Lord's trumpet, I received a word that the trumpet that shall ring is President Trump. And you're like, okay, let's calm down. We're waiting at the break spell. Let's take it easy.

If they were to stop me, I have the, it says, look at this. Paid confirmed order number. Your order. We received your order. And then it says, you did not pay. Uh-oh. Just kidding. This order has been paid online.

Probably. You know that is a theory. No way. He comes from the line of Cain. In Cain, his ancestral thing are Bigfoot, Bigfeet. Bigfeet. Which, that's interesting. Do you like Bigfeet? Sometimes. Take it or leave it. Speaking of Bigfeet, though, big news. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys know Jeremy Corbell? Jeremy Corbell.

He's been on Joe Rogan a lot, but he has that podcast where it's like alien disclosure, UFO disclosure. He's like really involved with like the whistleblowers.

Um, he is like in the end, in the know of like what's going on. As far as what? Just deep state UFO disclosure. Like he, he knows like everything and he was being interviewed and he's like, there is, there is a, a big, he's like, UFOs are real.

Extraterrestrial, whatever you want to call them, they're real. They've been here for a very long time. And the U.S. government has known about it for a very long time. What you don't know is that there is going to be a giant lie that they want you to believe in.

And the interviewer's like, what is it? He's like, do you want me to tell you? He's like, because if I tell you, there is a chance that they might change the lie.

But listen, I don't know how old this interview was.

Anyways, he's like, the lie is going to be that there is going to be a giant craft slowly headed towards Earth.

This was done a while ago. Okay. This interview. And he said in the date that they're given for this craft arriving, he said, and this is the lie they want you to believe in, that it will arrive in 2027. What?

I don't know.

I don't know. I just saw a clip of it. Wow. Wow. That's super strange. And it's a lie. Yeah. So what does that mean?

And that's when the last Pope was supposed to. Yeah. There's so many things. Yeah.

My whole thought is like, There's so many people I've seen in like, um, all this end time prophecy stuff has happened. All this weird stuff is happening. Like Jesus is coming back really soon. Yeah. Which he definitely could be coming back soon.

But my thought is like, if you were a believer and you were so disconnected from news, would you still be able to sense, like have this feeling like there's something off right now. And I can't speak into that just because of how into everything worldwide I am, you know? Yeah. Like, all the news, all the crazy stuff. Rivers turning red, birds flocking, you know, fish dying.

Meteors coming. Yeah.

We're super close. Well, that's what the prophecy of the Pope was, right? They said it was 2,000 years after Christ's birth. They're like, oh, then that would have been this time. And it's like, oh, no, it was after his death. And it's like, actually, no, further studies think that Jesus was born in 4 BC, not 0 AD or whatever, 1 AD. Yeah.

It's weird. I don't know. I mean, I think something's going to happen. Yeah.

Well, they also thought in Revelation where it talks about the two prophets coming, you know, and that they'll be killed. But in how many days they come back, but it says like when they're killed, it said the whole world or all the nations will mourn. Yeah. And it's like, well, how would they all know that?

And it's like everyone can know everything now because it's we have Internet, social media, news, whatever. Also, we have these people having dreams. The dreams thing is crazy.

Yeah.

I got to start planning. I think I've already said this before. My mind could change. I don't know.

I would say it's also possibly haunted. Also, maybe don't live here. Also, when the toilet, it seems like it's overflowing, just jiggle the handle. Yeah, that's it. That's it. But it's all yours. Go for it. Anyway, I thought that was cool.

That is cool. It's great. You know what's also great? What? Is the fact that we are not going anywhere!

Do it. Wood. I could do a wood one.

Yes.

I saw a really cool thing of a wooden whisk. But it's just a circle. It's like a spoon, but the circle part is carved out. Nice. Like a hole.

And it's always a whisk. Whether or not it will mix. Yes.

Yes, it is.

Oh, my goodness. That little Jane. Quick.

Would you rather always have an eyelash in your eye or have hair in your butt crack? Hair in the butt crack.

Yeah, because that's every day for me pretty much.

I thought you were questioning it. No.

Are you serious? Actually, three weeks. No, that's really good. I'm like, two weeks? That was your question?

I did hear that you can go to TikTok.com and download it that way.

No, I learned it today. No, we're sponsored by TikTok.com now.

That's the scariest picture of a T-Rex I've ever seen in my life.

They're above the law.

Bezos is the law. What's her name? Some actress ripped into Amazon. Who is it? Mandy Moore. It says, Mandy Moore blasts Amazon for leaving package on doorstep of burned down LA house.

What do you want them to do?

Can we not have better discretion than to leave a package at a residence that no longer exists? This is my mother and father-in-law's home.

Speaking of forests.

If you want to, the ones in Alaska, you're allowed to bring a weapon. If you want to, the Australian one, you could not.

This was the Australian one that weren't barbed.

There's so many restrictions on the Australian one. Yeah.

He was a descendant of the Aboriginals. He did this whole speech at the beginning where he's praying this Aboriginal thing of the land.

It happened with a couple of them. They literally just freak out because they're alone. It's the first time in their history probably.

He goes like 30 days without eating.

Nothing really, just starvation. Yeah, just not having enough. They have Tasmanian devils because they're on the island of Tasmania. Okay. And the biggest thing was Tasmanian devils, but they're like this big. And it's freezing. It's freezing cold.

Sure. By yourself?

You've never been camping in your life.

Okay. Please can we do this now?

Speaking of island. Island boy. There's this lake in Russia. Speaking of Russia, we talked about Russia last week and the craziness. Let's just say Russia has some of the craziest stories. Wild. Some old, old earth there. But there's this lake there called Lake Baikal. And it is, I found this out, the deepest freshwater lake on earth. How deep? Over 5,000 feet deep.

How big is it? It's huge. You should look it up. It's... Actually, do I have a picture? No, I don't. It's Lake B-A-I-K-A-A-L. K-A-K-A-L. Dude, I hate deep water. It's crazy. You could just be on a boat. You're going to hit this lake even more. Good. Let's go. Okay, so in 1982, there was these Soviet divers that...

1982. This is a classified document that got released to the public in 2000. Was it 2000? Yeah, 2000. And it was in the Soviet government, like a classified document. So these Soviet divers in 1982 were doing these diving routines or whatever in the lake, in Lake Baikal. And they're down, what was it, 52 meters or something? Or 50 meters, 164 feet down.

And then all of a sudden, out of the depths, they said there were these six humanoid creatures. And they described them as wearing these tight, metallic-looking suits, nine feet tall, and wearing these weird jelly helmets. So they're just floating in the water. They just come up. So they're like here and they just come up.

And what these divers decided to do, apparently as like a, what the heck is that? They like had a net or something. And so they tried to catch one of them. And then like all these things did something to where it caused this force field and shot all these divers up to the surface, like almost instantly. Yeah. They all got the bins.

It was seven divers. Three of them ended up dying.

And then the rest were basically silenced from ever speaking about what happened.

Oh, I see. So it was like the Soviet Union did not want anyone to know what they saw.

Just these Soviet Navy divers. They are from the government, the Soviet government. They were down there, and these humanoid creatures came up, tried to catch one, and then they just got shot up to the surface. That's terrifying.

There's reports even today of craft coming out of the lake, like in orbs and stuff coming out of the lake, and also people constantly disappearing around the lake, which would make sense. It's a huge lake. I mean, ginormous. And it's in Siberia. It's very remote. And it's one of the deepest lakes. It's typically frozen the good majority of the year.

But apparently, I think this was a story too from the same lake. Like it's so big that they're actually able to test submarines within it. And this one submarine on their sonar picked up these objects. I think it was actually six objects that were coming towards them at like, they said it was like 400 miles an hour. And so they turned and it like matched the path of the submarine and

On the sonar. It was like in a formation. Yeah. And they're like, go up, go up. And so the submarine breached, right? They came up to the surface. And then they used the, what do you call it? The little.

Yeah. I forget what it's called. The thing that they look out to see the surface. And these things just popped up out of the water and just shot off in the distance.

These crafted, or the submarine, yeah. And then the craft followed them up and then popped up and then took off in the air. There were six crafts? Yeah.

Golly, dude. So there's a lot of weird, weird stuff happening with this lake. And I'd like to look into more stories about it.

I mean, just like modern day, it's just people see stuff all around it. Like paranormal.

No, people, you can walk around it and stuff. We gotta go to Russia. Yeah. It makes you wonder, like... I mean, it's a beautiful place. Like, look at that.

It's like... It's beautiful.

Well, that one theory of where we see UFOs in the United States are primarily where aquifers are. And so they're saying that there is, in fact, an underground tunnel connection with aquifers and different lakes and stuff to where these UFOs can travel and come out.

All right. Fine. For old time's sake, this could be the last one after you hear what we're going to talk about today.

yeah i don't know it's like literally why we think they're like we come in peace like they probably just have to get that out immediately just before we shoot them or something i know um they said so this thing it said uh modern day stuff is ufo sightings many locals have reported seeing strange lights and craft emerging from the water

Disappearing boats, several vessels, and their crews have vanished under unexplained circumstances. In magnetic anomalies, some areas of the lake cause compasses to spin wildly similar to the Bermuda Triangle. Wow.

Ley lines.

Anyways, that would be the scariest lake to go visit.

Knowing that there's 5,000 feet of water below you.

Don't drop your phone.

I don't know.

They said it was like some stat that like it's 5,000 feet deep, but it goes below the 12,000 feet is Titanic. Still, though, that's crazy. What do you call it, ocean level? Sea level. Sea level. They said that this lake, it's so deep that it goes like 2,000 feet below sea level.

Yeah, so they're saying like the 3,000 feet are above sea level and 2,000 feet are below sea level.

I think we have.

ROV?

P-O-V. Robotic Observer Vehicle. If that's it.

From what I've seen, Russia would be lit up.

I don't think Andrew would be interested, though, because the surfing, I heard, is not very good there.

Because?

The blurry guys are all in Costa Rica right now. No way. Yeah, that's where they're doing their event.

Yeah. Yeah. Very handsy. Yeah. But racial in like a really good way.

So then they probably charge more then.

I do really want to go to like Peru and stuff.

Yeah. Actually, it's not. We've been invited to go to space.

We did a two-week honeymoon.

We can talk about this on Patreon. Absolutely. Everyone's loving this. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what a lot of people don't love, though? Mainly the Persians.

No, I'm saying you know what the Persians don't love.

Mostly the Persians. Mostly the Persians. What they don't love. I don't know. Alexander the Great. Okay.

Why?

Because he conquered them. He's in the name. It's great. Yeah, but he's also probably Nephilim.

He conquered all of Persia. He's from Greece or Macedonia. Got it. And he fought the Persians, but then went on this campaign to where he's like, I'm going to reach the end of the world. And so just start conquering, conquering all the way into India. And then basically a coup formed and everyone went back. But how did he die? He died in Babylon under weird circumstances.

They think he was either poisoned. But let me get to that. Yeah, go ahead. Shoot. So when I say Alexander the Great was potentially Nephilim or had Nephilim DNA or was somehow connected to the spiritual realm. is it starts off with his mother, who her name was Olympias, right? Okay. And she was married to King Philip II of Macedon or Macedonia. And he was the king of Macedonia.

And just for some history, so Macedonia was north of Greece. And the Greeks treated Macedonia like how the early English treated Scotland, like the Highlands, like they're a bunch of barbarians. They don't know anything. So King Philip II, basically the Persians were just kicking the Greeks' butts constantly.

And so he united all the clans of Macedonia, rose up, went to Greece, attacked a bunch of dudes. They all formed together. And then he was about to do his campaign towards Persia, right? The Persian Empire. And his bodyguard killed him. Oh! Oh, no.

And they believe that it was Olympias, his wife, that potentially killed him because she wanted Alexander the Great to go and do it because she believed that he was half God. Oh, yeah.

Because her story to Alexander was that he was not the son of Philip II, but was the son of Zeus Amon, which is basically this god that was basically Zeus and the god Amon from Egypt, which was the god of lightning and the god of all gods, came together. The story goes that either Zeus Amon disguised himself as a serpent to impregnate her,

also could have come in the form of lightning it said so serpent or lightning and so that's how alexander the great was conceived how does she know this how did she come to this conclusion that's just she's saying this is what happened to me okay well you're not the son of phil the second you're the son of zeus got it and so alexander the great believed he was half god half deity right

But the stories of this legend of what he did was just like undefeated. He was just so wise on the battlefield and was just conquering everything. And so many people were behind him. He was so brilliant. And he went into Egypt, right? And he went to this place. Where is it? Um, they call it the Oracle. Where else? Give me a second. I want to be called an Oracle so bad. Oh, another thing.

He was also taught by Aristotle. What? Alexander the Great. His teacher was Aristotle. That's crazy.

Timeline? This would be the 300 BC era. Yeah. Okay. Um, where, where was it? Uh, Siwa Oracle. So that was this place off of. So we found it Alexandria, right? Which was also where the library was built, the library of Alexandria. And they're saying that's a connection to where he went out throughout the entire world and collected all this hidden knowledge and brought it back, created Alexandria.

Those are racist people.

And that's where the library was. Library was formed. But he went to this oracle, and it says when he stepped in, the oracles said, welcome. They basically said, like, welcome Anon, which is the god of gods, right, to them. Yeah. So without even knowing who he was, really, they said, welcome. Spooky. We know who you are. They just knew. Or son of Anon, I'm sorry. Yeah. Amon.

And what do we think about them?

How did they realize that? I don't know. There are some oracles in this one part of Egypt or whatever. Yeah. But even the ancient Jews and Muslims have this story of Alexander fighting the Nephilim and containing them because he wanted to be the one to defeat all of them. Yeah. And so there's this thing. It's called, I believe, the Alexander Romance. I have so many notes. It's a bad romance.

Where is it? Oh. Yeah, the medieval story of Alexander romance recounts how Alexander built a massive gate between two mountains to imprison Gog and Magog. Often it's talked about in scripture.

Throw them in the Gulf of America.

Yeah. And I was like looking at him like, is there any chance that like, I just like went off on all these rabbit trails. Is there any chance that Alexander the Great would have known about the Watchers or the Book of Enoch or anything? And there is because the Book of Enoch, at least the Book of Watchers, was written during the time of Alexander the Great. Really?

And that was passed down originally through oral tradition. Yeah. And then if you know anything about Alexander the Great and what he did, he was in Israel and befriended a priest in Israel who taught him things. And then he went down to Egypt and learned all this stuff.

Right. There's a very high chance that he would have known about the Watchers and this divine being presence kind of thing. But to say all that, so he went and conquered the world, right? And then when he went to India, he said that he fought these mystical creatures and stuff, like this crazy, crazy stuff in India.

But his men, they originally set out on this campaign to be like, yes, we're going to conquer Persia, right? And then we're going to be loaded, go home, buy whatever we want. But Alexander the Great's like, no, we're going to keep going. And basically the whole army was like, we're done with this. They've been conquering the world for 10 years now. So they've been away from home for 10 years.

And so they finally were about to form a coup. And Alexander the Great's like, all right, we'll go back. Goes back. He's in Babylon. And then all of a sudden he's struck an ill and then just dies. But where the crazy theory part comes into place, this conspiracy part, is they said that his body laid exactly the same and didn't decompose for over six days.

What could have done that? They're saying that because he potentially had this Nephilim blood, whatever, kind of like how we talked about Nimrod or Gilgamesh, how they uncovered his tomb and he was perfectly preserved, right? He didn't rot away. So they're saying this was the same scenario with Alexander the Great.

And so they built him this elaborate golden casket, and they were going to bring him back to Macedonia. And on their way there, it got hijacked and went to Alexandria. And ever since then, no one knows where his tomb is.

With the books? I don't know. But there's these theories that are out there that either the Vatican is somehow involved with the stealing of his tomb.

Or the, what do you call him? Blinken. Knights Templar. Okay, yeah. Interesting. Went and stole. So a lot of this theory of stealing his body goes into the whole occult, Freemason, Rosicrucian, all that. Nephilim DNA. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like how if Gilgamesh's tomb was discovered, how the U.S. government came in and took it because he had some sort of DNA that they wanted to use.

They're saying the same thing could have happened to Alexander the Great. Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah. This is all complete conspiracy-based, too. Yeah. This is, like, a complete offshoot of, like... Because it is history, but there were really weird scenarios. True things that were said. Like, his mother really did say that. He really did believe that he was related to Achilles and Hercules, the son of Zeus.

Right. Yeah.

But the fact that he was able to basically conquer anything he wanted... Mm-hmm. And he died at the age of 32 as well. So he was conquering all this stuff in his 20s.

It's really cool.

was talking to him brought him in and then he was like I'm not going to do this and he's the one who introduced everything what did he say to him I kind of spaced out so forgive me if I'm like duplicating your repeat everything you said the theory is that so a lot of the history of Alexander the Great was written hundreds of years after his death and so a lot of it was just like oral tradition and stuff like that

But even Josephus, the Jewish historian scholar that wrote about Jesus and stuff, he wrote about Alexander the Great meeting the priest in Israel. And they speculate that Alexander the Great, knowing this background or believing that he was this demigod, whatever...

That he was obsessed with understanding more of the knowledge of, you would call it the occult, but like the knowledge of the watchers. So that's why he got like this high of like, I need to explore all these places where there in fact still are Nephilim and learn as much as I can because I'm going to rule the world. Yeah, it gives you power.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's crazy. I just thought it was fascinating too, of like just the connection of like Israel and Egypt and like the Israel thing alone to me, it was like really cool to see that he like went and met with this priest in Israel. And this priest was showing him like the book of Daniel and these prophecies. Yeah. And he's like, Oh, that's me.

Uh, but yeah, I probably did a terrible job explaining the thing. Cause it goes fun. There's so many rabbit trails talking about the connection of Alexander, the great and Nephilim and giants and watchers and the cult and the Vatican. Yeah. It's wild.

We don't need any changes. We don't need to add anymore things. But, yeah, it's crazy, crazy stuff. I'll send you the stuff that I watch about Alexander the Great. Yeah. Because this one video I watched, it was basically about his conquering, so, like, all the wars and stuff. And they broke it down. I'm such, like, a visual learner. Yeah.

They just showed the map and the timeline, and, like, it really helped me connect the dots and stuff.

Okay. The podcast, The Rest is History. Okay. The Rest is History. The Rest is History. The Rest is History.

It's these two older British dudes, and they're just like, they totally roast each other during like talking about history and stuff. Like, I think that what he did was absolutely atrocious. He's like, I don't think it was actually atrocious. It was quite fitting for the time. But they're great, and they're so wise, and it's so fun to listen to. What's it called? The Rest is History.

The Rest is History. Yeah, and I was listening to one about Alexander the Great. They don't get into the conspiracy side. They're talking about the literal things that he did. Yeah.

He's so funny.

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comment the last time you use the word butt crack let's break the record for the amount of comments that just say butt crack seriously do it I don't care how many times you have to comment make it happen we need to have 20,000 comments on this episode watch that get our video taken down but yeah guys we love you and we appreciate your support we're glad you're back Lil thanks me too I'm happy to be here thanks guys okay bye we love you see you on Patreon

That's impossible.

this week because of the welsh five i did i had it today i had one today he had like three i think like a four and it was a terrible experience but did you have a yummy sub no it wasn't good because she rushed it oh that old beautiful soul gave you some too didn't she

Yeah. But, you know, it's not just in case. Just in suitcase? It's today's question.

We know the craziness that is happening in this world can only lead to more craziness. So true. But I like to think that there's hope. Yeah. I'll just get on with it. So today's question. Sitting by a viewer. Wait, what is that? What? Oh, hold on. Is that the spider?

That's it. That was the question.

She did.

And today is officially the first episode ever to where I don't have any topics.

Just kidding. I have a lot of topics. I was going to say, I was like, that can't be true. You would have told me.

We'll see if it's good. Starting off right off the bat, Mr. Beast Pyramid video.

What's up with the attitude? I got there. Pickup was at 1120. I got there at 1121 because my truck battery is dead.

It's the biggest propaganda piece ever for Egyptologists.

The Egyptologists that were with him, with Mr. Beast and his crew, they're like, this is where the pharaoh was buried. Or could have been buried. Or it was a decoy place where he was buried. But he's actually buried somewhere else in the pyramid. But we just don't know where it is yet.

Yeah, I don't know what's up with that. But I get there. It's not in the pickup thing. And I wait in line. There's only one person in line. I wait there for, I don't know, 10 minutes.

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Here's the thing, Max. We didn't need a picture of Sirianni, Max, because you gave a recap in words that describe it better than a picture ever could, because it looks like right after you left the party at 3.08 a.m., you tweeted, Sirianni was so sick tonight. I was drunk tweeting all night. That tells me all I need to know. Let's print that out, and then you can look back on that in five years.

That's awesome. Get in there and make it by yourself.

The funniest part about watching Hank react to Max talking about the night is Hank just thinks back. He's like, yep, that's how the Super Bowl parties are set up. They got that other special section right there. Then you got the players. Yeah, I know all about that.

Max, have you been invited to the parade?

There are going to be so many dudes in Philly that are like, I'm going to go out to the parade just for a little bit, and then I'll come home, and we'll go out on a date and have our night, and they're just not going to come home.

That's going to be a tough sell.

Interesting. Yeah. Well, he's had two very bad losses in Super Bowls.

Strike from the record. Also, I mean, Mahomes has had to get to the AFC, too.

Yeah. I mean, we'd be having to talk about the Eagles being a dynasty right now.

Kelsey was not looking great on the film review. My All-22 analysis is that Lane Johnson is a fucking man.

Every single time you see Lane Johnson, he's just bodying someone. That is a man that you don't want him to put his hands on you.

He got a lot of stuff going on. The Super Bowl after party is Big Dom Super Bowl.

They are. Well, there was that picture of Taylor that went viral like two weeks ago. I think they're also mad about her getting booed.

I think she was. But yeah, there was that picture, and it confirmed the fact that Taylor Swift does in fact have a leg. And all the Swifties are like, oh, look how thick she is. Look how strong that leg is. And it was just like a leg. It was a leg. So now CJ is saying, oh, he should have stayed with the thick girl.

And then now all the Swifties have responded by leaving bad reviews for CJ Gardner Johnson's mom's restaurant. Is that what it is?

Swifties are sore losers. Well, they've never lost. They've literally never lost. They weaponize social media.

How do you respond from adversity? I don't know. We'll see. She's going to put out a banger album about the Super Bowl. I think he's going to retire. You do? He looked old.

Is this Eagles team the best football team of all time? Oh. Because, well, hear me out. You've got Saquon Barkley. I'd say maybe a top 10 running back of all time. Right? The way that he's playing right now. Not in terms of longevity this season. Incredible.

Saquon Barkley, he was in the MVP consideration. He had a great season. Yep. Top 10 season of a running back of all time. Mm-hmm. The offensive line for the Eagles, maybe top 10 offensive line of all time. Defensive line, you could make the same argument. And their pass rush, make the same argument. Impact rookies all over the place. Great secondary. Shut down Patrick Mahomes.

Quarterback better than Patrick Mahomes. Yep. Beat Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. And we're talking about Patrick potentially being the second or going into this game the best quarterback of all time. A guy that just beat him, you would say that he's probably the second or the best quarterback of all time. Is this the best football team ever? Max, I already made this argument on Sunday's show.

Did you say they're the best team ever?

So Eagles number one, Patriots number two.

Hank is unironically doing the washed trash.

No, you've become Max Kellerman.

You have become Max Kellerman. Either you die a villain or you die a hero or live long enough to become a Kellerman.

Who wins the Super Bowl first? Patrick Mahomes or Drake May?

Oh, for sure. I would say good luck charm is more Nick Foles. Nick Foles even posted, it's really cool that Tom Brady got to be, I guess it's Tom Brady that's the good luck charm. But Nick Foles pointed out Tom Brady got to be there for the Eagles two Super Bowl wins.

I just like the narrative. If it's Carson Wentz, you have to check in in town. Yeah, you have to.

Yeah.

said that just so you know it should have been me it's probably way better to not even make the Super Bowl than it is to make the Super Bowl and get blown out like the Chiefs right yes yeah so good job all of us yeah

Hank and I have never been more in lockstep than we are right now. Absolute boys. What was your worst loss in the Super Bowl, Hank?

It's tricky with Jalen Hurts because I think that there's a bunch of teams that would not do a one-for-one trade with their quarterback, but Jalen Hurts is better than them in terms of how he fits in with the Eagles. I'd probably rank him fifth. So do you think Justin Herbert, do you think the Chargers would trade? I don't think they would, but... That's bullshit.

Max, I don't think they would, but I'm saying Jalen Hurts is a better quarterback.

I agree. I'm saying Jalen Hurts is better, but I don't think the Chargers would make that trade. I don't know.

Who's your... I don't know. I don't know.

And we're out of football season. It was a sad realization waking up on Monday. I think we all felt a little bit empty.

It's a mystery. I'm going to do a mystery top five, and then I've got... Yeah, I got hurt six.

Wait, was that not a fake Schefter account? Oh, it was?

I liked that a lot. I started to get back into shows again on Monday. I watched The Night Agent. And that's about that's it was very strange not having like sports bouncing around in the back of my head constantly thinking about what's going to happen in football.

If we sent Pug, Pug wearing the Mickey Mouse ears would be very cute.

Going on that hungover would be the worst.

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He's always pumped. John Gruden is the most pumped individual I've ever hung out with in my life.

And then Tuesday comes around and thank God or excuse me, Monday night comes around and thank God that the sports gods decided to bless us with Luca's debut.

He's always fired up. Yeah. So, yeah, I miss him. I just miss him. Same. The only thing that really pisses him off is when people in the room are not adequately fired up.

Right, but John Gruden's not around you for your life. He's around you when you're working.

That's my hardest boy.

I didn't say that you're wrong. I just said it's hurtful. Some people in this world are self-starters, and they don't need somebody to grab them by the face mask and tell them what to do. Other people need to have their hands held, and that's okay. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's fair.

I finished 15 gumbos on the last night. That's my guy.

Hey, can I ask you a question about the gumbos?

I said I was going to do it, and then I followed through because he set a goal, then you hit it.

It's good to check shit off the list. I do regret doing the gumbo bet. Not a bet. Oh, not a bet. A challenge. The gumbo challenge. Just because it made me miss out on so many other good foods that I could have eaten in New Orleans that I would have loved to have had. But yeah, I'd finish it up with two gumbos at dinner on Friday night. And yeah, then just went to see Ludacris. Pretty good show.

Left before John Summit. Sorry, John. Disrespectful. Embrace debate.

Is it disrespectful to Ludacris to have him open up for John Summit?

ludicrous might not be as hot right now as john summit i think he's got like 20 more might not be well he's you act like ludicrous is fucking chopped liver max bring up their monthly streams on spotify i'm telling you that john summit is better is bigger than him right now and it's by like a good margin but luda still does very well luda's been doing this shit for 25 years

He's in Fast and Furious. He's a megastar. A little disrespectful to Ludacris, even though John Summit is hotter, right?

Well, Max came up to me during the show and was like, I'm sorry for disrespecting Ludacris. He's got bangs.

Well, no, it also just shows that John Summit is much newer and Ludacris has been doing it for 25 years. Talk to me in 15 years and let me know how hot John Summit is.

Yeah.

Your hot seat PFT? My hot seat is pitchers and catchers. They're reporting.

I think the Cubs are there.

The Dodgers are there, first to report. I just remember watching part of the interruption when I was a kid growing up, and the first show after the Super Bowl would always be Tony talking about the beautiful cyclical nature of sports.

We lose one, and we get rebirth. Yep. And so baseball's back. Baseball is so bad. Baseball is officially back. We'll do our baseball preview in probably September. When we do dingers only. When dingers only, yeah. But yeah, they're reporting right now. And then pitchers and catchers go there first, and then everybody else just shows up all at once?

They don't hang out, like, with the pitchers and catchers?

Do they just do long toss for a week, and then everyone else shows up?

Yeah, and then, like, in— That's what makes the Garrett Cole thing even funnier in the World Series. In July sometime, there will be a dribbler back to the pitcher, and that's the first thing they work on in spring training, which also means that we're going to get some pictures through chain-link fences from reporters where they're standing like 300 yards away.

I saw that. I was also very confused by LeBron James. Yeah. We all know that LeBron James in the past has said a lot of things, sometimes confusing. But one thing that he said that was very clear was back in 2015 when he told his teammates kind of in a passive aggressive way online, stop trying to find a way to fit out and just fit in. Yep.

The blurriest pictures of all time being like, look, baseball's back. Baseball's back. There's Shohei. My cool throne is big men. Random big men are back because we've entered the stage of the NBA season where the Lakers don't have a big man.

And so now people are just going on TV and saying the names of random big men who could fill in to play for the Los Angeles Lakers, even though maybe some of them have been out of the league for like four years. So Stephen A. Smith was making the case for Dwight Howard today. coming back, which I am in support of that just because it would be very funny.

But I don't think he's very good at basketball. No.

So I'm going to say some other big men. Okay. Blake Griffin. Love it. Who says no to Blake Griffin? Blake Griffin.

You don't think Blake Griffin... By the way, shout out Blake Griffin.

Spencer Hawes. Yes. Done. Bring him back. But yeah, the Lakers need a center. So you can just say anybody, any tall man. Be like, yeah, I can see him get out there, give you some fouls. Get him out there. Perk. Perk. Perk caught a stray. Not really a stray.

Perk caught a shotgun blast from KD over the weekend.

Well, Perk is the guy that the further away he gets from playing, the better he was. Oh, yeah. And I love Perk. I'll listen to him talk about anything. But he was like, yeah, I was a leader of that team. And KD's like, this is the most ridiculous thing I've heard said online this whole week.

Well, I saw Stephen A. Smith bring it up and say, like, what about Dwight Howard? And Wendy was like, yeah, no, Dwight Howard's not going to play. He's about to go into the Hall of Fame. He's not going to come back and play. He's not in playing shape. Lay off the burgers, Wendy.

Marcus Cousins is a great one for that conversation.

What? So you're saying that Stephen A. Smith was right. Yeah, he's being mean, though.

Yes. Right. Dwight Howard's fat. But now Hank is taking that one step further and saying it's because Dwight is coming back that he took it so seriously.

Apparently last night he told Luca, don't worry about fitting in. Just go out there and fit out. Oh, nice. What? So I don't get it. Yeah.

No, he's just saying Wendy's fat. But if you're Dwight Howard and you're sitting at home and you hear Stephen A. Smith mention your name, you think about it.

Stephen A. Smith's probably going to be president.

Oh, so they're giving them a constructive school-approved way.

They set up points of entrance for them.

Soon you're going to have to buy an extra ticket to storm the court afterwards.

I mean, he's just hitting it face on, you know? I guess so. Like here it is. I mean, you might as well just embrace it instead of fight it. Yeah. It's better than being like, if you were to tweet out, my daughter's ugly. Yeah. Which one would you rather have?

But that doesn't make any sense.

Your must-win boot.

No, we would never. What are you talking about? Just playoff. It's a playoff. Max is getting a lot better at sniffing these things out.

That's the entire thing we're trying to do there. He's a winner. Didn't sniff out McCarthy, though. No. Doing fake ads. What? No. Oh, he still doesn't know. Yeah.

He was having to do fake ads to make you do more shoeies out of the boot.

That's the first I'm hearing of that.

Hank, do you have any advice for Max about how to establish a dynasty and what this offseason is going to need to look like to continue this run?

He did look kind of big and pale in that Lakers yellow, didn't he? Yeah, I'm telling you.

Yeah, he's been saved from the basketball Siberia that is Dallas, Texas.

Also, one of our producers is a big Duke fan, basically went to Duke.

Yeah, you've got connections everywhere on the show.

When did you come to the decision that the format of the All-Star Game had to be changed? Was there one moment in the game last year where you're like, that's it, I can't go back?

Do you spend any time in your day to day searching your name online? Because I think you are probably one of the people that gets the most unsolicited advice.

Yeah. He got kicked out. They kicked that guy out. Everybody in Dallas, like if they show you on the Jumbotron there, you should say, fuck Nico. Oh, so funny. I like that a lot. So petty. Yeah, Luca, the Luca show. I'll tell you what. I think it might be Austin Reeves' team. It's not Dalton Connects. If you want to talk about body language, he did not look happy.

Well, he had zero points last night. It was disgusting. They didn't even... J.J. Redick probably did the right thing and said, like, you don't have to worry about playing. Well, they're... He said, she said.

Yeah. That was a very thoughtful, nuanced answer. And the main takeaway is that Adam Silver has considered raising the basket and extending the three-point line. So in the past, you've thought about it. You have. That thought has crossed your mind. Absolutely.

Yeah.

They just wanted you so bad. So Charlotte, they're the ones that are contesting the trade. They're like, no, he didn't feel the physical. It's actually, he's in the best shape of his life.

So do you ever hang out with other commissioners and just be like, hey, commissioner to commissioner, here's something I'm thinking about?

There's some battles and some problems that only a fellow commissioner might understand. I'm sure that you go through. Yeah. Hypothetically, not talking about anything in specific, but hypothetically, do you have anything that's in place where you could potentially deny a trade?

If a team wanted to send a superstar to another team and maybe the return value on that superstar was not what would generally be expected. You're talking about Kyle Kuzma? Yes. So I'm a Wizards fan.

Gotcha. I am going to miss Kuzma. Big Cat's right. That broke my heart.

Honestly, let's level. You were probably like, oh, Luca's going to L.A.? Huge market? That's cool.

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Well, they told him, they told him late. And Mark said that the biggest mistake of his entire career was trading Steve Nash. And he was like, I don't want to make a mistake like that again.

Yeah, that's true. He's made a couple of mistakes. Yeah, they just gave him a heads up like, hey, Mark, just so you know, we're going to do this thing that you're going to hate and you are powerless to stop it.

Wow.

Very cool that he took the time to do that. Yeah.

That's very cool. Well, while we have you here, I just want to give you a piece of unsolicited advice from me and take it for what you will, but I think a lot of people agree with me. One of the most frustrating things to watch in the NBA, and I love watching basketball, but this is very frustrating when players are obviously flopping and embellishing fouls.

Is it in consideration to make embellishment, flopping, reviewable, technical foul, cut and dry? Don't do it because it's tough to watch on TV.

Just have every ref just say, life isn't fair.

Also, a bad call gives us something to yell about the day after the show.

So we'll be screaming. If you just make it perfection, it's like we're the dog that was chasing the car and then we catch it.

It does. Yeah. Has there been any consideration to to adjusting the league schedule? I know it's been in place for a long time in the general format that it's in. But but waiting and starting the the year on maybe Christmas Day and extending it at the end.

Now, in other news, our boycott worked phenomenally. The Pro Bowl had its lowest ratings ever, I believe.

So we boycotted the right thing. People followed us. Made a difference. But that means that we were just so starved for football that everyone just tuned back into the Super Bowl. Yes.

I walked into that. Or maybe at least just allowing fights like in hockey. Yeah. Like blow it off.

Well, I mean, that's happened before. Ty Domi, the penalty box.

That's a good idea. Legacy League. When I was going to pitch him, which I won't pitch him, but I was just going to pitch him rigging the draft. Oh. Yeah. That would be a smart idea. That would be a good thing to do.

For the Wizards. Cooper flagged to the Wizards. Yeah. You know, I'm a Duke guy. Cooper's unbelievable. He's great. He's great. We would take such good care of him in D.C. You're also a D.C.

Mulling it over.

I'll see you next time. I got an Aura Frame for my mom for Christmas. It's up in her living room right now. I can, with like three taps of my phone, open up the app, put a picture that I have on my phone on her Aura Frame in her living room, and boom, she's got another picture ready to go. She loves it. It's a great, great present to give. The best part is that it comes with unlimited storage.

All you need is the free Aura app, and you need a Wi-Fi connection. You can upload as many photos and videos as you want year-round. I've got it right now in my mom's living room. Super easy to set up. It took about five minutes to set up on Christmas. There is a picture of me and Jerry O'Connell in the back of the El Camino that cycles through that she likes.

She wanted to make sure that one was up in her Oriframe, but you can put whatever you want on there. Right now, you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting oriframes.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $20 off their best-selling Carver matte frame with code PMT. That's A-U-R-A frames dot com, promo code PMT. A-U-R-A frames dot com, promo code PMT.

Don't forget to mention that we sent you to show you support for the show. Terms and conditions apply. is also brought to you by our great friends over at NASCAR. It's NASCAR season. It's Daytona season. The adrenaline, the majesty, the excitement of the Daytona 500 is something that you must experience in person.

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The Flash IV also tastes great. Body Armor Flash IV has brought me back. After the case race, I spent a day on my couch. I was drinking Body Armor Flash IV. Felt like a million bucks by the afternoon. Felt really good. It gets the hydration back in you. Get yours today at Walmart or at a local grocery store near you. And now, here's Joe Burrow.

Okay. What's the next level?

Better than this, Joe?

7,000?

If you have a great game, let's say you throw for like 400 yards, four touchdowns, hypothetically, something like that, and you end up losing that game, you feel bad afterwards, I'm sure, because you want to win. How long does it take for you through that week to be like, you know what, I'm actually pretty happy with my performance?

You keep waiting for old Norm Van Brocklin's record to fall. Yeah. 550 yards passing in the game. It's kind of crazy that it, I think it's 545 maybe. It hasn't happened in like 50 years. And with the NFL being so pass heavy right now, you keep hoping like one of these days, a quarterback will throw for 550. I'd like it to be you.

It's like Max and Russell Wilson, the two last guys you want to be sad next to.

Yeah, yeah. And tonight you've got the NFL honors. Good luck. Thanks. I think statistically a lot of people would say Joe Burrow could be the MVP. But more importantly, what are you going to wear to this?

Sir, two homeless people just followed you in. Would you like us to arrest them?

So he probably, like, that's his worst nightmare. Like, he went to bed just having nightmares about Philly fans like Max bouncing around his head. He's like, he's everywhere.

Yeah, I kind of like that. No, you and I actually have a little bit in common, Joe. We've both been victims of crime this year. I had all my clothes stolen off my front porch.

Well, I did. I sent it away for laundry because it was a long weekend of football, so I wasn't home to do the wash. But I had two big ass bags of clothes that just got stolen off my front porch. And I lost basically all my clothes. I've been trying to dress like you. Do you have any advice for me? Like, do you have a stylist that you use? Because I feel like now I'm 40.

I got to level up a little bit. I got to start, you know, stunting on these hoes a little bit. So yeah, who's your stylist? And can they also give me some help?

When people say like, oh, you look like Ellen DeGeneres in this or whatever, like they say that about me, but in like a bad way. Yeah. With you, it's like, oh, yeah, you can look like a lesbian and be hot. With me, it's like you look like a fool.

I usually buy something in September, and then I spend the next four months just tracking it from China as it's making its way here. It's like on a boat somewhere crossing Taiwan. I'm like, I'm never getting that command. You get it in two years? Yeah, exactly.

Well, Hank is really bad. And as a quarterback, like me and big cat, our salaries depend on a guy like the quarterback. Right. We're not, if he's making us look bad. then it's like, what are we going to do? We're just going to become divas. So you guys are receivers? Well, we could be. We're just divas. We're like diva wide receivers, except we're not good at playing wide receivers.

This could be like rookie of the year situation. What does that mean? Have you ever seen that movie?

The kid that breaks his arm, all of a sudden he can throw like 98 miles an hour.

Like if you have a ligament injury, maybe it just made you a better quarterback.

Does it feel good right now?

Having a fully healthy offseason, though, that'll probably be nice for you.

Give me some names.

What you could do is you could just play all your starters throughout the preseason and just lose those games.

And then week one is literally week four for you.

Yeah. What does that feel like going out for a preseason game? You're going to go on the field and you're going to take two snaps, hand the ball off twice, and then leave the field.

We do it the other way sometimes where somebody will be really good in the preseason and we'll be like, that guy should start.

Like Kyle Slaughter. He was a preseason legend for a long time as a backup. I don't think he ever played a snap. Could he run?

And you always think like going into the season, man, this guy should be getting snaps over Patrick Mahomes.

This guy's way better.

Do you ever learn new moves for open field running? Definitely. Like you watch YouTube and you're like, okay, I could do this or...

Just Euro stepping random people on the street.

I was going to say, if you had a dog, you could just juke out your dog.

If you were a dog or a cat, I would say Joe Burrow cat.

I don't like what Big Cat's doing, Joe. I think that you deserve every penny that you've signed for. You don't have to restructure anything. Don't feel like, oh, I have to keep T around. It's not your responsibility.

I think T's entitled to make his money, but you're entitled to make your money too, Joe. Don't listen to this guy.

I would do that. Okay. Okay. I don't like what he's doing. He's putting pressure on you. You should feel entitled to the money that you've earned.

You understand the cap. I mean, not really, kind of.

I feel like adjusting the salary cap is like the final boss of how many different things can we change because of COVID. Yeah. It's like COVID happened. Okay, well, we're going to have to redo the NFL salary cap, obviously. We need to make some changes there.

Yeah. His translator, Ipe.

Maybe, perhaps. Yeah, it was a situation. It's good to have a translator because that person is the ultimate fall guy. I didn't even understand that. What you guys were saying.

You should get a translator. That would be awesome. Yeah. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, that way that person does all your interviews. You just sit next to him, checking DraftKings. I can put in a parlay here. Okay, good, good, good.

uh yeah so this has been a fun year for you in other ways maybe not so much but this offseason what are you doing to uh to like improve your game you're getting faster i know that but like is there anything that you work on in the offseason and you say i'm gonna focus on this i think i'm at the point in my career where i'm not really there's not really anything that i'm like okay this needs to get better this is

I like that. Just do exactly what you've been doing, but do it harder. Yeah.

What's your hair plan for next year?

I mean, your hair seems to grow fast, though. It does. Because when you shave it, it's like four weeks later, it's like, oh, yeah. Remember when Joe shaved his head a month ago? Now he's got normal hair.

Slim, shady look was interesting. I thought that that was... intentionally done for preseason and that you would dye it back once the regular season started?

I saw another one from a similar account that said God made men and then sent us Joe Burrow as an apology.

Wait.

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This guy absolutely hates it when his girlfriend cheats on him. Yeah. And just like really watching her go to town. The one that I saw today, they were under the covers and they include, I think they might've like added in sound effects because that smack sound, she was getting it in to the wall.

It's a famous thing that Nick Ceriani does after he wins a Super Bowl. It's kind of his deal.

Yeah. Gift card boxes you in. Cash is limitless. The problem with gift card is you never spend the full amount.

Maybe get him some jail. Or you have to make yourself spend way more money because you're using the gift card to get a discount on it. Also could get him some jail stool. No, don't do that. Bad idea. I would... Let's see. A good gift for your fiancé. Cash. I don't know if cash is really the way to go. Hank is... Always.

If you share the personal account, it's like, what are you going to do with cash?

When does that happen?

Cash. Cash.

Sports tickets. Cash. Cash is king.

Wait, so she's saying why do girls care so much when guys play video games? Like this is the guy asking why his girlfriend doesn't like video games. Because you're paying attention to something very close. You're paying attention to it way, way more closely than you pay attention to her.

I think girls, they care when they see you so engaged in the video game and you look forward to it and you know everything about the video game. You pay super close attention. And then they're just like, I wish that when I talk to you, you would pay attention to me in that same way that you do your video game.

Yeah. Like, suck my dick. Fuck you. Yeah.

Eat my pussy. What they should do is they should make a boyfriend simulator game. That'd be good. If they made a good one. Maybe get her into video games.

Hank, what song would you sing on stage? What would be the Hank thing that he's known for?

Nurses are hot.

How is it a dude? I thought this guy's on chicks. And he's a nurse.

Yeah, listen, one thing I know about nurses is when they're not on the clock, they fucking party.

This is a Swifty thing, too. That's why they're upset. Yeah, and I think nurses and doctors have, what, like a five times greater likelihood to smoke cigarettes?

Oh, so you have to go. That's nice. You've got to go a day early.

Yeah, I know. Are you playing any golf? Like when you get into town, did you add next round?

Okay, all right, nice. But it's because of the snow. It's the snow.

It sounds like torture.

I think what Max is asking is, like, aren't you going to get bored of playing golf at some point this week?

Hank did ask me the other day. He's like, hey, are you going to play golf on your vacation? I was like, I don't think so. He's like, can I borrow your bag, your travel bag? So I have to run home at lunch and get the travel bag for Hank so that he can get his golf in tomorrow.

Yeah. What? It's huge.

No, I'm just stating facts. You love facts. I'm trying to get you fired up.

We can never light that fire in Hank. He's probably pumped to see Isner. He's like, finally, a guy with energy. Fire me up. He'll tase you. Literally fire you up.

No one is.

My Fyre Fest, somewhat vacation related. Really tough to have a Fyre Fest when you're going on a vacation. It's nice to get somewhere warm. Really good point. I guess the only Fyre Fest I would have would be that I really wanted to play golf this weekend and I don't have my travel bag anymore. And, I mean, what's better than playing golf on an island on vacation?

It's, like, all I've looked forward to doing for the last three months. But Hank needs my bag, so I'm going to give Hank my bag. I can get another bag.

He's got a bag. Yeah, yeah. No, you can have my bag. I can sell it in a lot to you. Real Fire Fest is going on vacation this week, and I did get my chest waxed. Last week down in New Orleans. Oh, yeah, that did happen. It did happen. So I'm going to be hairless in a swimsuit on the beach. And whatever lotion they put on really did not agree with my chest.

And I got a little rash going on my chest right now. I'm not looking forward to being shirtless this weekend.

Yeah, it's got a lot better since the day after, but my chest is not at its best right now.

Okay, all right. But that's fine. It's like, really, you're walking around has really trained your leg muscles. Yeah. So you've got strong legs.

You can definitely do it.

Big Cat, you should have John Gruden coach you and train you because he'll get you fired up. Yeah, that's true. It's a fact.

Do we have any other hobbies that we're deciding to pick up this offseason? Dunking. Dunking. Hank, any changes you're going to make to your life? Post-football?

I could try to dunk. I'm focused right now on long drive because I got a bet coming up. Oh, yeah. That I've been training on already.

I don't know if everyone here has been training on it. So I'm just going to try to get my drive up. I have been training on it. Over 300 yards if I can. I'm getting more tattoos. I am too. I'm low-key addicted to getting tattoos.

I might get a teardrop tattoo. How sick would that be?

I like that. That would be cool. I'm going to get the flight simulator going in the office.

A lot of stuff going on.

Can we see that picture?

We'll pull up that picture. Where can I find this picture?

I need that. I do like how in Max's mind he's like, you know, me and Siri, we're too close for that. It'd be weird if I went up to him and asked him for a picture. It's like, I can do that whenever I want. Yeah, no, looking back, I probably should have asked for a picture. I get it, though. You don't want to be annoying.

They got cameras everywhere, but I'm telling you, at that point, they do not give a fuck if somebody wants a picture.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was incredible.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

A little laugh, that's nice.

Oh, what a find.

Sure.

Great beard. Thank you. I mean, compared to Amin, I feel like it's an easy one.

It's the whole lip and tooth and the way you have a few gray hairs scattered around. It's very tough for me to. Salt and pepper is a good thing. That's not salt and pepper. It's a lot of pepper. It's mostly pepper with like a kernel of salt.

Salute. This is a compliment. I don't want to appear stuffy to anybody.

How many? Two? Three? How many do you need? No, I'm good now. But the reason I tuck in. No, I meant towels. No. Do you know why you tuck in your shirt, Juju? You never tuck in?

You're tucked in, Jessica.

No wonder the break was so long. It was a good stream, too.

Now, the NFL denied it, just so we're giving our facts straight. The NFL denied.

They said, oh, no, it had nothing to do with Trump becoming the first ever sitting president to attend a Super Bowl game, which he is. And then all of a sudden the end racism gets removed. And the NFL said, no, no, this was always the plan. Surely a coincidence.

A note that Mike didn't mention from the Jordan Hudson Instagram post is that in that screen cap of an email, there is a song playing with the Instagram post, which you can do now, which is Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift.

Your dad's probably a fan. It's like a little kid on a scooter and you're just blowing by him, giving him the bird.

It's like a pop-up stays in the infield. 308 feet is a weak fly ball to the right fielder in every other ballpark in America.

If the outfielder has to run in.

If you have to have communication between the infielder and the outfielder, that's a pop-up.

No, we're calling that a pop fly.

87% of the audience says, yes, they do. We didn't even mention that they would also wear batting gloves. Before the oven mitt thing that they do now for stealing bases, they'd be out there wearing a helmet, a jacket, and batting gloves. It was the best.

Was für eine Eile ist das? Ich will in die andere Eile sein. Ihr seid in der, äh, kann man diesen schwarzen Mann wirklich wütend nennen Eile. Ich will sagen, dass Draymond Green sehnsüchtig herausstellt, dass Flagrenzen nicht gegen seinen technischen Wert zählen. Schnell und brillant.

Das ist nur ein Teil des Shows. Ich bin nicht mal... Das ist eine Fragung einer Fragung.

Nummer eins ist, dass die Universität North Carolina mich als Lüfter nennen will, weil ich berichtet habe, dass Jordan Hudson von ihrem Bildungs- und Fußballprogramm verabschiedet wurde, obwohl mehrere Gerichte mir explizit gesagt haben, dass sie nicht mehr willkommen, erlaubt oder möglich ist, für die Universität zu arbeiten, in jedem Fußballkontext.

How did you manage with 11 sources to still get the story so wrong, Pablo?

Quiley Brilliant, if that's a solution to not being banned himself, is to just flagrant foul people instead of technical foul people.

Yeah, I think it's very telling actually what North Carolina did. So I have this report that comes out Friday morning that's deeply sourced, has said things that are not in question at all, which is basically surrounding this meeting from the higher ups at the university, from the chancellor's office in

Zur Athletik-Departement, zur Fußball-Programm, in der es wieder gesagt wurde, dass Jordan Hudson nicht mehr im Gebäude sein kann, nicht mehr am Team ist, nicht mehr am Team will, nicht mehr am Team sein wird, so wie sie es schon war, übrigens.

Und so wie sie es schon war, nur für die Leute, die sich nicht daran befasst haben, sie wurde geäußert, gefragt, geäußert zu werden, auf jeden E-Mail von Bill Belichick. Sie hat Leute hinter den Szenen gebossert. Sie war auf dem Feld mit Bill, auf Video, in einer Weise, die alle schreckte, die sich um die Reputation von Bill und dem Programm und auch um das Rekrutieren kümmern mussten.

Und das Statement, das Carolina veröffentlicht hat, was sie gesagt hat, ich werde es hier aufschauen, weil ich denke, es ist wert, es zu zitieren, weil sie nur sagen mussten, dass dieser Nobody Reporter es falsch gemacht hat. Jordan ist willkommen in unserem Gebäude. Stattdessen, für die erste Zeit,

They said this, quote, While Jordan Hudson is not an employee at the University or Carolina Athletics, she is welcome to the Carolina football facilities. Jordan will continue to manage all activities related to Coach Belichick's personal brand outside of his responsibilities for Carolina football and the University. So, they could have said, she's welcome here, period, end of story.

Instead what they do, in a very obvious way to be, is say, she doesn't work for us, she's not doing anything related to us, she is not employed by us in any legal way, do not blame us for how she may be behaving, that's his thing, not ours. That is what they said.

Ich glaube, es gibt eine sehr einfache Antwort hier. Draymond Green schlägt für jede Menge Spinnung um das unvergessliche und gut dokumentierte Verhalten. Und er ist so, dass es sich wie eine Sache fühlt, für die Leute Sympathie haben würden. Und so sagt er es. I don't think it's much deeper than that. I think Draymond Greed has no credibility on the question of does he do things uncontrollably.

So I think there's actually a parallel to the Draymond thing here, now that I sort of think it out with you. Because on some level, I am also the person who's like, it's insane that you would blame Olivia Munn for Aaron Rodgers' performance on the field. That is like textbook misogyny, right? You should not blame the significant other of any athlete for how they perform on the field.

This though is not that. This happens to be the case of an individual who is so ambitious yet clumsy in how they execute their ambition that they have made enemies in his family, In his inner circle, on his coaching staff, at the athletics department, at the university president level, at every media company she has worked with.

The reason I have 11 sources, yes, I must say, I'm an awesome reporter, sure. It's really because everybody is like, you have no idea how bad this thing is. Look, I want to take credit. I do want to take credit for me unearthing everybody one by one. What happened was in February, I reported the thing about how she wound up in the football, in the Super Bowl commercial.

In this ad with Affleck and Damon, who she was negotiating with.

Listen to the episode, please. Please listen to the episode. The thing about how she's conducted herself when it comes to having that power, right? It's not merely that she got the power, it's how she's been using it. And it has been in a way that is entirely self-destructive to the person she's trying to protect.

The CBS Sunday morning thing, Dan, and the bird chirping, which I assume is just you guys tormenting me.

I presume that's psychological torment. Was hörst du da? Die Grund, warum das notierbar ist, ist, dass das ein Puff-Stück ist, das sie versucht hat zu machen, das sie einzigartig in etwas gewechselt hat, das die Flutgäste auf alle geöffnet hat, die sagen, diese Person, mit der ich mich beschäftige.

ist das Legacy und die Reputation und das aktuelle, moderne Arbeit, das er hat, an dieser Universität. Dieser Kerl, der bekannt ist für Disziplin und Diskretion und Privatsache und defensive Strategie. Es wird von ihr nicht gemacht. And I'm not saying, by the way, that she doesn't have good intentions. I'm not even saying that.

I'm merely saying that in Silicon Valley, for instance, to pay a compliment, there are lots of very young people who are very ambitious, who have no idea what the consequences of their decisions are. These are unintended consequences that leave us addicted to cell phones, for instance, just broadly speaking, right? A compliment to Jordan Hudson. She is a prodigy in that regard.

The problem is that when you go and you break a lot of things along the way, there are these costs, there are these consequences, and it may result in her boyfriend... who she met when she was 19 years old on an airplane, it may result in him not having that job for much longer. That to me is someone who is terrible at their job, even if they mean well.

And there is a difference between intent and effect. And we are in the world of results. And it's really going badly.

Absolut. Am 1. Juni, Mann, schau dir das an, schau dir das Kontrakt vor allem an. Am 1. Juni, der Kauf von der Belichick-Seite von 10 Millionen Dollar zu 10-mal weniger, zu 1 Million Dollar. Und die Theorie war, das war, weil er es wollte, wenn die NFL umgekehrt kam und sagte, oh, ich würde gerne Bill Belichick haben.

The only question is how intentional is his recklessness.

Ich kann dir sagen, die NFL hat keinen Wunsch, mit Bill Belichick zu arbeiten, besonders nicht jetzt. And then the question becomes, does Bill want to remain there? If his bosses are actually saying, look man, you can't operate this way. You can't embarrass our school this way. In which case, he may not feel like he's in charge anymore. In which case, is it really worth it?

If all you want to do is sit in the front row of the Miss Maine pageant, watching your girlfriend at age 24 get second runner up. If that's what he wants out of this, I'm not here to yuck his yum. This is not a story about an age gap relationship. This is a story about power and who gets it.

And everybody around Belichick got walked over by a very ambitious young prodigy named Jordan Hudson, who is driving that program into the ground. That is why I'm reporting the story. It's not because it's fun and funny and because they're 28,000-year-old dildos. That is merely the happy side benefit of what happens when you open up the mystery box and find what's inside.

Pablo, does this story have a happy ending? Well... Es ist schwer, keine Bobcraft-Referenz hier zu machen, wenn du diese Frage fragst.

I have reported what that day was like from a lot of different angles and you're exactly right. They were at Bill's high school, his old high school in Annapolis, Maryland. The Navy sweatshirt was because they were there in Annapolis trying to tell the story of a guy who wrote a book in which his football lessons, his football wisdoms could apply to non-football people in any walk of life.

And he cited her in the acknowledgments. They had posted about how they met. It's just the most softball question to just let you say what it is that you have already said before. But Jordan Hudson as a PR person didn't know that she would be on camera. Auf einem Mikrofon.

Und dann, ähm, die einzige Grund, warum es nicht schlimmer war, ist, dass CBS nicht mehr eine halbe Stunde mehr Fotos veröffentlicht hat, in denen sie Spygate-like Handsignale gibt, um ihnen nicht andere Fragen zu beantworten. Like the whole thing. They never got to do, you know, in these things, you guys know this, you do a walk and talk around the setting.

The reason no one knows it was his old high school in Annapolis was because they never got to the walk and talk. They never, it ended. They never got there. And it's because Jordan Hudson, generously speaking, out of a self-protection or rather a protection of the two of them together, this power couple, intervened in ways that entirely backfired. And that's why we're talking about this now.

Ich denke auch, dass er sich daran beschäftigt. Wenn du Draymond Green bist und dich selbst rationalisierst, warum versteht niemand meinen Genius als Basketballspieler? Du gehst zu etwas, das fühlt sich generell wahr zu sein, von Leuten, die wie du sind. Selbst wenn es absolut nicht der Grund ist, warum Leute denken, dass du eine verdiente Reputation hast.

It's because they did it Mit der Hilfe von diesem Kerl.

By the way, the idea for the book, I reported this in the episode too, it was Jordan's idea. She read Ray Dalio's book, Principles. She was like, you should write a book in which you give your lessons to the world. And they did.

es ist nicht eine großartige Anwendung der Macht, die sie als Freundin erhielt. Es ging nicht gut, es geht nicht gut. Und ja, schau, Mann, ich erwarte, und zu Dan's früheren Punkt, ich erwarte, dass ich lebe und verleugnet werde von diesem Bericht, weil es unendlich ist. Ich werde neue Dinge entdecken, insbesondere über den Wochenende. Ich habe This is your beat?

Ich versuchte euch auf der Death Row zu verkaufen und das wurde mit einem resoundierenden, können wir über die Dildos sprechen?

I really could. You should. You should. Go ahead and do it. I told you guys that on my top five list was a cock ring made of a goat eyelid. That wasn't in the episode. Ich kann das verstehen.

Kann ich dir noch etwas sagen, was ich nicht in der Folge verabschieden wollte, was ich glaube, dass ich nächstes Mal machen werde? Aber ich werde es wahrscheinlich nicht machen, weil ich meine Reputation nicht mag. Was magst du nicht, Zezla?

Das Drehzimmer-Floor? Nein, das Ding, das sie auf dem Bildschirm zeigen. Oh, du magst es nicht? Ich mag das Drehzimmer-Floor nicht. Ähm, das Drehzimmer. Ähm, schau, da ist ein Detail. Kann ich dir nur ein Detail geben, das ich nicht verabschieden wollte, das ich glaube, alle verletzen sollte? Insbesondere die Universität North Carolina. Kann ich das machen, bevor ich rauskomme? Ja. Ähm...

Erinnerst du dich an den Rost von Tom Brady, wo Tom Brady den Joke über Bill Belichick und den Ring-Cam gemacht hat? Erinnerst du dich daran? Ein anderer Ring.

Kann ich dir die Geschichte hinter diesem Video erzählen, die ich in diesem Video nicht vornehmen konnte? Ja, bitte. Also, die Geschichte hinter diesem Video ist, dass dieses Video veröffentlicht wurde, natürlich bei Jordans Abode. Sie hat dieses ganze Real-Estate-Venture, sie hat dieses, weißt du, wunderschöne Real-Estate-Empire, das ich nicht veröffentlicht habe, aber andere haben es.

Nun, die Frage, die ich als Reporter hatte, als ich das Video gesehen habe und von diesem Video enttäuscht bin, Audio auch, ist, wie kam Daily Mail zu diesem Video? How does one get internal Ringcam footage from a home? How does that happen? Who had access to those videos?

And let's say it wasn't Jordan Hudson, just for the sake of this hypothetical that I am just merely hypothetically going into depth on. If it wasn't Jordan Hudson, Who was it? And what other videos might have been taken without Bill Belichick's knowledge at almost age 70 wandering around like a bear in the woods on a porch looking for food?

How else could they ensure that there is nothing else that could be monetized or used against the highest paid employee? in the state of North Carolina. It's just a question that I think people, well, I can report now exclusively, that Bill Belichick's family is worried about, that they're looking into. And I feel like the university that says I'm a liar might want to do the same.

Wait, is he a hostage? You know, this feels like... I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying that it's a weird video. It's a weird video. Where'd it come from? What do you mean?

Like Manny Pacquiao's mom. Well, he's fighting now at 48 or 49.

He's a literal senator with deeply homophobic religious convictions. So not ideal for your boy these days. Don't ruin it.

Wow. Ich regle mit Prejudiz. Warte mal. Es fühlt sich an, als ob der Gericht da gefreut wurde. Es fühlt sich an, als ob der Gericht wirklich gefreut wurde, wie die Dinge in diesen Tagen geklippt werden.

I like that show. We're headed there. That never happens in my courtroom.

Journalist. Tony heard this episode? Even Tony? No, I didn't. We did. We solved the mystery of what did Jordan Poole say to Draymond Green to get him punched in the face in a way that is not racially specific, but merely indicative of a larger emotional temperament. That is exactly what we did. He said, you're just a backpack for 30.

And Draymond Green, in a totally non-racially specific way, punched him in the face. Yeah, we found that out last year. Or actually two years ago now, fall of 2023.

Let's do some OLIs. I have not prepared this, but the episode is actually that crazy.

Und es war ein wirklich guter Episode. Danke, Zaz. Ich erinnere mich an diese Gespräche. Ich hatte dich auf meinem Show. Oh, ich liebte es. Wir alle dachten, du sprichst über Israel Gutierrez. Different episode. Different episode. We're the third ranked sports podcast on Apple right now, so just check us out if you haven't. We're doing that stuff over there for Metal Ark Media.

The Feast was not entirely cotton candy. Admittedly, there is some real reporting. For instance, OLI There is a 28,000 year old dildo in Jordan Hudson's mom's sex museum in Provincetown.

No, he said it was... Number five. Does it have balls? There is a plaque alongside the 28,000 year old dildo that explains it is made of camel dung.

This is all from the Belichick episode. That's a longer list. By the way, is there a sound? Anyone else hearing that sound?

Is that something happening with your... The faint sound of birdsong? No. No, that's not happening.

Oh, wait, hold on, hold on. I guess number four, in the acknowledgments page of Bill Belichick's book, he explicitly thanks one of the first people, and it is, quote, his ideas mill and creative muse, Jordan Hudson.

Nummer drei. Das Sexmuseum ist das erste, was du auf den Weg zum Sex-Shop fährst. Und im Sexmuseum gibt es eine Reihe von Exhibitionen, insbesondere eine, wo ein Cockring aus einem Goat-Eyelid hergestellt wird, den ich in diesem Episode nicht mal Zeit hatte. Es steigt auf den Charts.

That doesn't help. Pablo, number two. Nummer zwei ist, dass das Sexmuseum-Shop in Frage ist, in einem dokumentierten Gesundheitsbericht über die unabhängige Anwendung und Anwendung von injectablen Erektildysfunktion-Drogen.

What's a quantum computer? It's not just a faster computer. It performs in a fundamentally different way.

I was like, how would I do this? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you less so than me, I feel.

And is that what they call fans of wrestling, a wrestlehead?

Is that what they call those?

So that's a bucket list thing. Adam, if it's not a bucket list thing for you, what would be a bucket list thing?

You don't even play poker.

Blake, do you even know him? No wonder you don't call him on his birthday. You don't know what the fuck it is. I don't really play poker.

You mean like going all in? Is that what you're talking about?

By the way, never ever played cards in my life.

Not really. I can only play this one game called... We've talked about this, I feel like. I played Norwegian poker with my grandma.

It was somebody.

Yeah. Todd, was it you, Todd? Luck be a lady. Todd says it wasn't me. A true degenerate gambler.

Like if I dove off a cliff in a squirrel suit, but you don't want to do, you don't want to like train up for squirrel suit.

But if you could do something similar to that, that's a bucket list thing for you.

diving i think was a bucket list thing for me because i think thought that was fucking incredible you know what's so weird i would never ever like look for that but when the opportunity presents itself i go yeah all right cameras are rolling sure yeah yeah yeah but i'm i would never ever do that on my own if my friends were like we're all gonna go shark diving i don't know if i would do it i mean maybe i would if it was gonna be like a cool trip or whatever

but like it just unless it's like a work thing i'm like i don't know i'll be at the crib

Can I tell you something? What? Don't pack. Shop when you get there. Okay. Very shagadelic. Go somewhere awesome, eat good food. I mean, I love that. Everywhere has like Yelp or whatever, like kind of where you can find a restaurant.

He's just like, I guess we're clapping. Let me just fucking flex. Oh, me?

as much as i would love to do that it's just like there's just so there's so much stuff where i like i just i'd rather just stay home dude you just go just go in two weeks that's just a house cat that's a house cat mentality that's my wife has the same thing just go and by the way i'm a house cat too but like i gotta get out there i gotta see shit i will i will eventually no that's junkyard dog mentality right there

Oh, is that right? Yeah, dude. Isn't that also the same thing? They're also chained to a yard.

A junkyard dog always sneaks out.

Let me off the leash. He's circling back to wrestling here.

Just go to Japan.

Yeah. Get them. Makes me hungry. I'm going to cum.

And that's making babies. That's load boost money.

Come by my bucket list. I don't know what my bucket list would be. I feel like my bucket list would be things that like, I can't just make happen. You know what I mean? Like, We were going through our tattoo names of comedy people. If I could be in a writer's room and sit and break a story with a Ben Stiller or somebody like that, you know what I mean?

And just have that experience and make something, that'd be fucking sick. But he won't return my calls.

I'd be like, yo, what if they weren't Severed?

I mean, I've even, I've sat, I can't remember what it was for. Was it Zoolander 2 or something?

Where I did sit in a room with Ben and Justin Theroux and kind of bullshit about ideas for the script. Perfect.

But they didn't make it. No, but it was like, I don't know. It was like a short session or something. I can't remember exactly why I was there.

All right. We're going to call it.

Everybody. Everybody. Everybody except for Durs, hold back real quick. Real quick. I was just still eating my lunch from, like, a round table. And then they were like, do you care if we have a meeting? And I go, I got some ideas. No, but I don't know, like doing something creative with somebody.

They're not even flopping, dude. They're kind of taut. Yeah, they are.

Japan. To me, that seems so, like, surface. Like, yeah, come here and, like, do this thing. Like, see ya. Like, I don't know. That's a long list.

You had some unfinished business. Now, what was it like diving with him? Because I imagine you were a little—you lost a bunch of weight for that. But I was going to say, next to him, you got a lot more meat on your bones. Sharks are going for you. They're not necessarily going for Mr. Efron.

Right. He's got shark skin. Yeah. He has two little fish next to his dick just swimming around.

It's a weird question, Blake. It's a weird question.

Yeah. It's awesome.

It's the shit. And you're also just in a van looking at animals. It's this weird duality where you're like, whoa, it's a fucking lion and we're on their turf. It's not the zoo. But at the same time, I'm eating Doritos in this van. That's cool. And then we just drive away.

Just hanging on your wall. Yeah. Moana style. Got it.

That's... So racist.

They're busy.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, you for sure can get those a lot of places.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

And wait, you don't like these hats? You don't like these hats. I thought we were just, I was just remarking about how this is such a young go hard group, dude group at a bar hat.

But dude, it's so crazy, dude. It's like toothpaste flavors.

Like, what the... But like, don't you feel... Like a sucker? No. Like a chunk. Don't you feel like they think we're dumber than we are? No, we are dumb.

They're having a good time.

I know.

The cereal aisle is wild right now, dude. Because the ice cream is all cereal and then the cereal is all ice cream. It's all ice cream. What's the deal?

I know. And I think I told you guys that I went to a fucking Applebee's and I was like, Oh, shit. Pop rocks in a Shirley Temple. Like, let's go. And then I was like, they got me. This is fucking gross. But the sugar game. Oh, what? It's like their last Hail Mary. Oh, yeah. They're like, we got to offload all this stuff and put it into everything before RFK puts the fucking hammer down. Perfect.

That was the whole thing when he had to eat fried chicken with Trump. I can't remember who was talking to him about it.

Twist his arm.

I just find it disturbing, man. I just find it fucking wild. It's fucking crazy, dude. I feel targeted. You are. I know, but everyone acts like it's fucking normal.

I do, but now when I feel targeted, it used to be cute. It used to be like, oh.

But dude, it's becoming unavoidable.

I said, I'm the captain now. I mean, that's exactly right.

But they have multiple loaded cum pies with a few buddies.

Yeah, like, look at this. This is wild, dude.

What are they teaching us? And if you go to, like, the kid shit, all the, like, yogurts, all those are flavored from some, like, with, like, Paw Patrol shit. Bukkake yo play. Freaking buke. Look at the tricks loaded actually looks like a fire ass, like, hip hop album. That looks like a coochie. Yeah, I feel like I just said that.

you know no but it doesn't if it is who had the albums that had like the diamond font uh that was no limit yeah for sure no limit soldier like i told you where's that where's the rap snacks of cereal how are they not done rap snacks of cereal oh dude

Soy or some shit.

you look at the list of ingredients it's like a mile long and I'm like gimme gimme you can't pronounce anything in there your boobs are huge I wish they were huger dude yeah you can get them back what's wild to me is that I used to dig going into the fucking cereal aisle and being like I'm about to get something naughty and now I'm like too naughty this is gross this is too naughty yeah

I wish it would just all go white as opposed to just like cobwebs here and there.

Well, it wasn't this bushy, was it? Oh, no. This is... You know what? I got scared the other day and it changed. Oh, God. What scared you, bud?

Is it the Ohio State football coach who's got the dark beard that you're like, it's just too dark. There's no way your beard is that dark.

Right. Yeah. How do you guys feel about men of a certain age? Toupées? Huh?

Yes. It's true. We're getting there. No, men of a certain age who dye their hair, like, well into their 60s. I love it. And they can pull it off, and there's definitely some who cannot pull it off at all, where you're like, you're 80 and your hair's, like, jet black. It's just off, right? But the dudes who pull it off go for it.

Oh, my God, boys. If you're watching YouTube... Yeah, you're in for a treat.

The Amazon guy, he handed me the box knowing, for the joke, he knew what was inside of it, and he kind of held it while I took it. Yeah, he wanted to let it go. He looked at me like, are you the guy?