Ilana Redstone

Anyway, it ended up getting to be a fairly heated argument and to the point where he had he was planning to cancel a guy's weekend trip that was coming up. And he felt that she should cancel a work trip that was the following weekend. Basically, they should focus on the marriage, etc. As she's telling me this, and I'm listening to her, my first thought is, wow, that feels really unfair.

Anyway, it ended up getting to be a fairly heated argument and to the point where he had he was planning to cancel a guy's weekend trip that was coming up. And he felt that she should cancel a work trip that was the following weekend. Basically, they should focus on the marriage, etc. As she's telling me this, and I'm listening to her, my first thought is, wow, that feels really unfair.

Like his guy weekend is not the same thing as your work trip that she rarely takes work trips. And that feels really, in my head, I was thinking that feels really controlling and manipulative.

Like his guy weekend is not the same thing as your work trip that she rarely takes work trips. And that feels really, in my head, I was thinking that feels really controlling and manipulative.

Like his guy weekend is not the same thing as your work trip that she rarely takes work trips. And that feels really, in my head, I was thinking that feels really controlling and manipulative.

this is what i was thinking about him for better or for worse so then a couple of days later she comes back and she they've talked and she said you know what he's he's really concerned about us taking time away from the marriage while things are not while we're not really on solid ground while we're not on solid footing whether that means the increased likelihood of infidelity

this is what i was thinking about him for better or for worse so then a couple of days later she comes back and she they've talked and she said you know what he's he's really concerned about us taking time away from the marriage while things are not while we're not really on solid ground while we're not on solid footing whether that means the increased likelihood of infidelity

this is what i was thinking about him for better or for worse so then a couple of days later she comes back and she they've talked and she said you know what he's he's really concerned about us taking time away from the marriage while things are not while we're not really on solid ground while we're not on solid footing whether that means the increased likelihood of infidelity

or just that it could create distance between the two of them. And suddenly, the assumptions that I had jumped to about him feeling sort of manipulative and controlling, I was stopped in my tracks. And I was sort of like, wow, I can... I can see how he got there.

or just that it could create distance between the two of them. And suddenly, the assumptions that I had jumped to about him feeling sort of manipulative and controlling, I was stopped in my tracks. And I was sort of like, wow, I can... I can see how he got there.

or just that it could create distance between the two of them. And suddenly, the assumptions that I had jumped to about him feeling sort of manipulative and controlling, I was stopped in my tracks. And I was sort of like, wow, I can... I can see how he got there.

I can see how he, whatever I originally thought about his decisions about canceling travel and work trips, when she said that, I could see, wow, I see how he could get there in a way that has nothing to do with being manipulative, being controlling, it's just out of concern for their marriage, et cetera. That's the difference between being in the certainty trap and out of it. Does that make sense?

I can see how he, whatever I originally thought about his decisions about canceling travel and work trips, when she said that, I could see, wow, I see how he could get there in a way that has nothing to do with being manipulative, being controlling, it's just out of concern for their marriage, et cetera. That's the difference between being in the certainty trap and out of it. Does that make sense?

I can see how he, whatever I originally thought about his decisions about canceling travel and work trips, when she said that, I could see, wow, I see how he could get there in a way that has nothing to do with being manipulative, being controlling, it's just out of concern for their marriage, et cetera. That's the difference between being in the certainty trap and out of it. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, I think that example works too. I think all of those conclusions that we draw about people that allow us to, as you said, I mean, I think the word dismissive is really apt here, to just sort of be dismissive, to look the other way. Another example I can think of would be when I'm, I used to be the person on the plane who would get annoyed at people

Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, I think that example works too. I think all of those conclusions that we draw about people that allow us to, as you said, I mean, I think the word dismissive is really apt here, to just sort of be dismissive, to look the other way. Another example I can think of would be when I'm, I used to be the person on the plane who would get annoyed at people

Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, I think that example works too. I think all of those conclusions that we draw about people that allow us to, as you said, I mean, I think the word dismissive is really apt here, to just sort of be dismissive, to look the other way. Another example I can think of would be when I'm, I used to be the person on the plane who would get annoyed at people

children who are crying, particularly babies who are crying, right? This was years ago before I had kids.

children who are crying, particularly babies who are crying, right? This was years ago before I had kids.

children who are crying, particularly babies who are crying, right? This was years ago before I had kids.