Ira Glass

You got cold beer on tap.

Maybe you got a dartboard.

You got an MRI machine.

Sure, it's not the best, maybe not the best medical care available.

But on the other hand, you are absolutely ready to go when it's time for the urine sample.

Like, I don't mean to tell tales out of school, but I know people in America who are taking prescription pills at bars.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, finally, those punching bag machines you see in bars?

Well, I got some bad news for you, but good news.

We have something for you to hit already.

Exactly.

I mean, it's convenient, I guess.

I mean, once I got so drunk at a bar I passed out, but I woke up, the bartender told me I had no polyps and didn't have to come back to find it.

I mean, also, the one problem is, like, every doctor knows you're lying when you say, oh, just one or two drinks per week.

These doctors are like, come on, you had two beers while I was taking your blood pressure.

Yeah, that's how I keep it down, doc.

Coming up, our panelists give you some advice.

It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Thank you so much.