Jackie Schimmel

So then I and then lied to them and said I was graduating college, but I was only a sophomore. And then they offered me a job. And that just kind of started kick started my fraudulent life.

Like, whoa. Well, I only was lying to like human resources or like people like super high up that I wasn't with every day. So like every by the way, I have no fucking chill. I am like the most I have borderline Tourette's where I have to tell everyone everything all the time. Right. So I think that's – it was a real learning curve. But everyone that I was working with, like, kind of knew.

Like, whoa. Well, I only was lying to like human resources or like people like super high up that I wasn't with every day. So like every by the way, I have no fucking chill. I am like the most I have borderline Tourette's where I have to tell everyone everything all the time. Right. So I think that's – it was a real learning curve. But everyone that I was working with, like, kind of knew.

Like, whoa. Well, I only was lying to like human resources or like people like super high up that I wasn't with every day. So like every by the way, I have no fucking chill. I am like the most I have borderline Tourette's where I have to tell everyone everything all the time. Right. So I think that's – it was a real learning curve. But everyone that I was working with, like, kind of knew.

Kind of knew. Interesting. And then HR didn't. No. And it didn't really cause a problem until I started working at, like, a really –

Kind of knew. Interesting. And then HR didn't. No. And it didn't really cause a problem until I started working at, like, a really –

Kind of knew. Interesting. And then HR didn't. No. And it didn't really cause a problem until I started working at, like, a really –

you know esteemed financial institution where they did this little thing called hot tip employment verification so part of that is they call all the admissions offices and then they like confirm your degree and what happened well the good news is that i was in charge of employment verification so i just kept taking mine and putting it at the bottom of the list stop and then did you ever get caught no

you know esteemed financial institution where they did this little thing called hot tip employment verification so part of that is they call all the admissions offices and then they like confirm your degree and what happened well the good news is that i was in charge of employment verification so i just kept taking mine and putting it at the bottom of the list stop and then did you ever get caught no

you know esteemed financial institution where they did this little thing called hot tip employment verification so part of that is they call all the admissions offices and then they like confirm your degree and what happened well the good news is that i was in charge of employment verification so i just kept taking mine and putting it at the bottom of the list stop and then did you ever get caught no

What would be the worst that could happen? Oh no, I'd get fired from my receptionist gig at the financial institution where it was miserable all day.

What would be the worst that could happen? Oh no, I'd get fired from my receptionist gig at the financial institution where it was miserable all day.

What would be the worst that could happen? Oh no, I'd get fired from my receptionist gig at the financial institution where it was miserable all day.

I think that I'm myself all the time. And I like myself. And I understand that not everyone is going to fuck with me. And that's totally cool.

I think that I'm myself all the time. And I like myself. And I understand that not everyone is going to fuck with me. And that's totally cool.

I think that I'm myself all the time. And I like myself. And I understand that not everyone is going to fuck with me. And that's totally cool.

Totally.

Totally.

Totally.

I don't think I'm the prettiest person in the entire world. I don't think I'm necessarily that smart. I don't think I'm the funniest person. I don't think any of those things about myself. I'm just happy I get to do the thing as me. Because what else am I going to be? Miserable? I'm going to wake up and be like, God damn it, Jack. You need veneers. Whatever. Who cares? That's such a waste of time.