Jackie Schimmel

Everything happens for a reason. Thank you. Thank you, Katie. Have fun with your mom. Like, shut the fuck up. Don't do not anything that is on some spiritual religious bumper sticker. Don't you fucking dare drop that shit. Don't do it. When you see a butterfly, don't say, yes, I could tell that was your mom. I fucking hate butterflies.

I swear to God, I saw a rainbow yesterday and I knew it was your mom. I was like, do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? This is helpful. It's a sign. Oh, she did this for you. So when I bought my house, this is like a whole other conversation. I found my house. It was unlisted. It was off market. My realtor calls me. He's like, hey, there's this house.

I swear to God, I saw a rainbow yesterday and I knew it was your mom. I was like, do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? This is helpful. It's a sign. Oh, she did this for you. So when I bought my house, this is like a whole other conversation. I found my house. It was unlisted. It was off market. My realtor calls me. He's like, hey, there's this house.

I swear to God, I saw a rainbow yesterday and I knew it was your mom. I was like, do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? Do you want to get hit? This is helpful. It's a sign. Oh, she did this for you. So when I bought my house, this is like a whole other conversation. I found my house. It was unlisted. It was off market. My realtor calls me. He's like, hey, there's this house.

It's coming for sale. I only wanted to buy it in this one neighborhood. Whatever. So I go to the house. I break in. It was vacant. The guy was dead. Whatever. Whatever.

It's coming for sale. I only wanted to buy it in this one neighborhood. Whatever. So I go to the house. I break in. It was vacant. The guy was dead. Whatever. Whatever.

It's coming for sale. I only wanted to buy it in this one neighborhood. Whatever. So I go to the house. I break in. It was vacant. The guy was dead. Whatever. Whatever.

broken through the back the guy's dead inside no thank god he had died went to hospice in texas dead out fine vacant so i like you know jimmied my way in and i was like oh my god i love this house so i'm talking to my grandparents and they said oh how's how's your guys's house hunt coming and i'm like oh it's it's good i think i found a house today we're gonna put an offer and they're like which house is it we used to live in that neighborhood

broken through the back the guy's dead inside no thank god he had died went to hospice in texas dead out fine vacant so i like you know jimmied my way in and i was like oh my god i love this house so i'm talking to my grandparents and they said oh how's how's your guys's house hunt coming and i'm like oh it's it's good i think i found a house today we're gonna put an offer and they're like which house is it we used to live in that neighborhood

broken through the back the guy's dead inside no thank god he had died went to hospice in texas dead out fine vacant so i like you know jimmied my way in and i was like oh my god i love this house so i'm talking to my grandparents and they said oh how's how's your guys's house hunt coming and i'm like oh it's it's good i think i found a house today we're gonna put an offer and they're like which house is it we used to live in that neighborhood

And I give them the address, and it was my mother's childhood home. So I now live in my mother's childhood home. Okay. I did not know. I had never been there because when my grandparents, like, lived in a different state, we never went there. Right. I wasn't alive. Right. So that automatically made me hate the house because I was like, oh, my God, that's so weird.

And I give them the address, and it was my mother's childhood home. So I now live in my mother's childhood home. Okay. I did not know. I had never been there because when my grandparents, like, lived in a different state, we never went there. Right. I wasn't alive. Right. So that automatically made me hate the house because I was like, oh, my God, that's so weird.

And I give them the address, and it was my mother's childhood home. So I now live in my mother's childhood home. Okay. I did not know. I had never been there because when my grandparents, like, lived in a different state, we never went there. Right. I wasn't alive. Right. So that automatically made me hate the house because I was like, oh, my God, that's so weird.

Now it's going to be, like, this whole, like, butterflies and rainbows and, like, Bashar bullshit. I'm like, I'm not dealing with it. Oh, my God. Okay. So I then got into like a severe bidding war where I had to basically bankrupt the entirety of our bank accounts to get this fucking house because I loved it so much. It was locked up in probate, blah, blah, blah.

Now it's going to be, like, this whole, like, butterflies and rainbows and, like, Bashar bullshit. I'm like, I'm not dealing with it. Oh, my God. Okay. So I then got into like a severe bidding war where I had to basically bankrupt the entirety of our bank accounts to get this fucking house because I loved it so much. It was locked up in probate, blah, blah, blah.

Now it's going to be, like, this whole, like, butterflies and rainbows and, like, Bashar bullshit. I'm like, I'm not dealing with it. Oh, my God. Okay. So I then got into like a severe bidding war where I had to basically bankrupt the entirety of our bank accounts to get this fucking house because I loved it so much. It was locked up in probate, blah, blah, blah.

It took me like a year to get this fucking house. Very ruthless bidding war. So I overpaid by like an obscene amount of money that I can't even really say out loud because it would be alienating and disgusting.

It took me like a year to get this fucking house. Very ruthless bidding war. So I overpaid by like an obscene amount of money that I can't even really say out loud because it would be alienating and disgusting.

It took me like a year to get this fucking house. Very ruthless bidding war. So I overpaid by like an obscene amount of money that I can't even really say out loud because it would be alienating and disgusting.

Whatever. So I get into this house. I have my family over for like the first holiday. And every single motherfucker looks at me with that fucking hand, with that loose little grip, the little shoulder grip in the upper lip quiver and says, your mom got you this house. Your mom brought this house to you. And I'm looking at them and I'm thinking to myself, I've had to spread my legs out.