Jake Haendel

And, you know, if you're in bed for a long time, or like all the time, it's very important you get this every day so you don't have blood clots. And she gives me all my meds, but she forgot the Lovenox. And I'm like, where's my injection, you know? And I can't talk. And I'm like, just like blinking my eyes a lot to signal like, and she's like, what's up? And I'm just like, I blinked my eyes.

And, you know, if you're in bed for a long time, or like all the time, it's very important you get this every day so you don't have blood clots. And she gives me all my meds, but she forgot the Lovenox. And I'm like, where's my injection, you know? And I can't talk. And I'm like, just like blinking my eyes a lot to signal like, and she's like, what's up? And I'm just like, I blinked my eyes.

She's like, letter board. I'm like, circle my tongue for yes. And I start spelling letters. I get to L-O-V-E. And she's like, Jake, I don't have time for this. Like, we can't talk about love right now. Like, I got 18 other patients. And I'm like, blinking my eyes like crazy. And I'm just getting like all frustrated. And she won't let me. She's like, let's do it again. We get L-O-V-E.

She's like, letter board. I'm like, circle my tongue for yes. And I start spelling letters. I get to L-O-V-E. And she's like, Jake, I don't have time for this. Like, we can't talk about love right now. Like, I got 18 other patients. And I'm like, blinking my eyes like crazy. And I'm just getting like all frustrated. And she won't let me. She's like, let's do it again. We get L-O-V-E.

And she's like, calls in some other people. And she's like, you just keep spelling love. And, like, there's, like, eight people in my room. And, like, after, like, 30 minutes, they let me keep going on. And I spell N-O-X. And they're like, who do you love? Like, who is Knox? And I'm just like, ah. And then someone's like... Oh, Lovenox. He's so smart.

And she's like, calls in some other people. And she's like, you just keep spelling love. And, like, there's, like, eight people in my room. And, like, after, like, 30 minutes, they let me keep going on. And I spell N-O-X. And they're like, who do you love? Like, who is Knox? And I'm just like, ah. And then someone's like... Oh, Lovenox. He's so smart.

And in my head, I'm like, I got fucking brain damage. And I'm like, what's your excuse? Like, you know? Anyway, all this cool recovery stuff started happening in February 2019. I kind of made my first ah sound. And that was a huge breakthrough. The speech therapy was like, oh, my God, see, I told you you could do one day. I started learning vowels, and my therapist is like, those are good.

And in my head, I'm like, I got fucking brain damage. And I'm like, what's your excuse? Like, you know? Anyway, all this cool recovery stuff started happening in February 2019. I kind of made my first ah sound. And that was a huge breakthrough. The speech therapy was like, oh, my God, see, I told you you could do one day. I started learning vowels, and my therapist is like, those are good.

It's time for us to start working on words. And time for you to start thinking about the first things you want to say. Easily, it was the same as the last thing I said. I love you, you know, but I wanted to throw Ellen in there. I love you, Ellen. I love you, Ellen.

It's time for us to start working on words. And time for you to start thinking about the first things you want to say. Easily, it was the same as the last thing I said. I love you, you know, but I wanted to throw Ellen in there. I love you, Ellen. I love you, Ellen.

I call in the nurse because at this point I can't tap my own. I have the iPad and the holder, but I can't use it on my own. They hold it in front of me. I'm in the bed. And she answers and looks puzzled. Boom, the call ended. She hung up on me. And it fucking broke my heart, and I knew it was over. It was hard to motivate me. It's hard to get me out of bed. It's hard to get me to stop crying.

I call in the nurse because at this point I can't tap my own. I have the iPad and the holder, but I can't use it on my own. They hold it in front of me. I'm in the bed. And she answers and looks puzzled. Boom, the call ended. She hung up on me. And it fucking broke my heart, and I knew it was over. It was hard to motivate me. It's hard to get me out of bed. It's hard to get me to stop crying.

And shortly after that, I called in a social worker and non-verbally so I could be understood, I told him it was time for me to file for divorce and asked for help with that.

And shortly after that, I called in a social worker and non-verbally so I could be understood, I told him it was time for me to file for divorce and asked for help with that.

I just, I didn't get it. It was like, you, you wanted this. We want, I thought this was the plan. But you've abandoned that plan.

I just, I didn't get it. It was like, you, you wanted this. We want, I thought this was the plan. But you've abandoned that plan.

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I'm totally isolated. There's no people. There was a visiting hospice nurse and he comes and does one of his checks.

I'm totally isolated. There's no people. There was a visiting hospice nurse and he comes and does one of his checks.