Jake Haendel

And he's like, fucking Worm, Big Worm. Once I started dealing with Scoopy, I started making real money.

And he's like, fucking Worm, Big Worm. Once I started dealing with Scoopy, I started making real money.

I'm always in a rush because I'm trying to juggle dealing and personal life, visiting my mom, and I was like drinking tequila, Jose Cuervo out of the 750 out of the bottle while driving, hiding it under my seat, reaching for it all the time, smoking tinfoil, chain smoking cigarettes.

I'm always in a rush because I'm trying to juggle dealing and personal life, visiting my mom, and I was like drinking tequila, Jose Cuervo out of the 750 out of the bottle while driving, hiding it under my seat, reaching for it all the time, smoking tinfoil, chain smoking cigarettes.

a mile away from hospice, take a few more shots, smoke another cigarette, take a hit, and I park, pop like a breath mint, get the bags, get my blowout mattress, because I like to sleep in my mom's hospice room, walking in there, and she's so sexy, she's...

a mile away from hospice, take a few more shots, smoke another cigarette, take a hit, and I park, pop like a breath mint, get the bags, get my blowout mattress, because I like to sleep in my mom's hospice room, walking in there, and she's so sexy, she's...

you know I'm like hi mom you okay probably some stuff I'm gonna put in the fridge for you let me know if you want anything I'm gonna sit on my bed talking a million miles a minute and I'm like plugged in the air mattress she's like honey come here I remember she's moving her finger come closer she's like closer

you know I'm like hi mom you okay probably some stuff I'm gonna put in the fridge for you let me know if you want anything I'm gonna sit on my bed talking a million miles a minute and I'm like plugged in the air mattress she's like honey come here I remember she's moving her finger come closer she's like closer

And I understood. And I think she actually told me you're making me nauseous. I know how fucked up it was that I'm such a drug addict and mess that. I can't even go to stay with my mom because I smell too much like drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. And what do I do before I even leave the parking lot? I light up another cigarette and get in the car and drink more because I'm so fucking miserable.

And I understood. And I think she actually told me you're making me nauseous. I know how fucked up it was that I'm such a drug addict and mess that. I can't even go to stay with my mom because I smell too much like drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. And what do I do before I even leave the parking lot? I light up another cigarette and get in the car and drink more because I'm so fucking miserable.

It's just like... But that's the level of like lost I was and drowning myself in substance. And it never got better. I really started dipping into my profits across all levels with my abuse, drug abuse. So instead of making 400 bucks from Moxie, I was barely making 80 off everything I was selling because I was doing so much.

It's just like... But that's the level of like lost I was and drowning myself in substance. And it never got better. I really started dipping into my profits across all levels with my abuse, drug abuse. So instead of making 400 bucks from Moxie, I was barely making 80 off everything I was selling because I was doing so much.

I remember in the week before my mom's death, calling my dad and being like, Dad, you got to come here. You got to come to Boston. My mom's, you know, she doesn't have long. He's like, all right, I'm coming. I would sleep in my mom's bed. And I remember... He came in and I probably had just fallen asleep. It was like about 3 or 4 a.m. And he was like, I'm really sorry.

I remember in the week before my mom's death, calling my dad and being like, Dad, you got to come here. You got to come to Boston. My mom's, you know, she doesn't have long. He's like, all right, I'm coming. I would sleep in my mom's bed. And I remember... He came in and I probably had just fallen asleep. It was like about 3 or 4 a.m. And he was like, I'm really sorry.

And I had just seen my mom hours earlier. And he's like, your mom just passed away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just broke down. I was crying. I just want to get fucked up right now. And by fucked up, definitely pain pills is what I wanted. But I opened my mom's medicine cabinet. I never dipped into my mom's meds. Like, ever. Even being how I was. But, you know, I'm like, she's dead.

And I had just seen my mom hours earlier. And he's like, your mom just passed away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just broke down. I was crying. I just want to get fucked up right now. And by fucked up, definitely pain pills is what I wanted. But I opened my mom's medicine cabinet. I never dipped into my mom's meds. Like, ever. Even being how I was. But, you know, I'm like, she's dead.

She doesn't need these. Open up the cabinet. I don't even know what's in there. And I see a box of fentanyl patches. And I'm like, holy shit, and I look at them, and it says 30-day supply on it. You put this patch on, and a dose goes into your body one hour for 72 hours. And I'm like, sweet. And I start peeling them and sticking them on me. I put the whole box on. I had them all over me.

She doesn't need these. Open up the cabinet. I don't even know what's in there. And I see a box of fentanyl patches. And I'm like, holy shit, and I look at them, and it says 30-day supply on it. You put this patch on, and a dose goes into your body one hour for 72 hours. And I'm like, sweet. And I start peeling them and sticking them on me. I put the whole box on. I had them all over me.

I didn't have the intent to kill myself, but I definitely knew it was a big possibility because I did a 30-day dose of fentanyl in three days. So I was getting 10 times the dose of fentanyl for an hour for three days. And I was like, I'm gonna die. Yep. I started to feel it hit me. I just get Kind of drowsy and tired, which normally I don't from these opiates.

I didn't have the intent to kill myself, but I definitely knew it was a big possibility because I did a 30-day dose of fentanyl in three days. So I was getting 10 times the dose of fentanyl for an hour for three days. And I was like, I'm gonna die. Yep. I started to feel it hit me. I just get Kind of drowsy and tired, which normally I don't from these opiates.