James Acaster

He would get a turkey, carve it up completely, carve them into dinosaur shapes.

Mm-mm.

Cover them in breadcrumbs, put them in the oven, and they said, Bernard, you've got to sell these.

Oh, just got it out that way?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then the turkey's just running around with a triceratops hole in its side.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Bernard Matthews.

But that's the thing.

I mean, you don't build an empire like that without being a visionary.

Yeah.

so congratulations to him they should make a succession style show for HBO about Bernard Matthews who wants to inherit the Bernard Matthews empire yeah yeah that would be good actually would be good yeah I mean people would get quite you know there'd be a lot of symbolism there with the dinosaurs yeah turkeys as well yeah yeah both those things can have double meanings yeah talking about the industry that's good maybe Amy Matthews could be in it yes Amy Matthews could be in it get Jesse Armstrong to write it obviously yeah yeah

I'll just give it to Sam Bain.

Yeah, because that'd be fun.

Go like, look, we're putting you head to head now.

Yeah.

You've got to go.

It's still got to be like Succession, but it's the Bird of Matthew's Empire, and you've got to write it.

I don't think Bain's agreeing to that, man.