Chapter 1: What is the Off Menu podcast and who are the hosts?
Hello, Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast that you're listening to right now. I bring great news. My brand new stand-up tour, Fresh Hell, is on sale at the end of this month. Sign up to my mailing list for early access at edgamble.co.uk. It's going to be great.
Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the cream of conversation, adding the smashed up meringue of humor, the raspberries of friendship, mixing them all up in the big bowl of the internet, and you got yourselves an Eden Mess Podcast.
That is Ed Gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant every single week. We invite in a gesk. We invite in a gesk? We invite in a gesk every week. And we ask them to favour ever start a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is... Gesk. Amy Matthews.
Amy Matthews. Amy Matthews. By the way, I've definitely done Eat A Mess before as an intro, surely.
I didn't want to pick you up on it, man, because, like, do you know what? They'll be on you enough across all social platforms. I don't want to add to your worries.
What's your problem, Benita?
LAUGHTER
For the listener, Ed was fiddling with his mic stand to the point where Benito gave him evils to get him to stop. And while he was giving Benito sass for it, he leant back on his chair and his chair tried to do a bucking bronco on him and sent him into the ceiling. And startled him. It gave him quite a fright. Yeah, yeah. I'm sleepy today, man.
But I feel wired, you know, when you're sleepy and wired.
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Chapter 2: What does Amy Matthews bring to the Dream Restaurant?
I think how he actually did it was he got a dinosaur cookie cutter and just rammed it straight into a live turkey.
Oh, just got it out that way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the turkey's just running around with a triceratops hole in its side. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Bernard Matthews.
It's too much, man.
But that's the thing. I mean, you don't build an empire like that without being a visionary. Yeah.
Yeah.
so congratulations to him they should make a succession style show for HBO about Bernard Matthews who wants to inherit the Bernard Matthews empire yeah yeah that would be good actually would be good yeah I mean people would get quite you know there'd be a lot of symbolism there with the dinosaurs yeah turkeys as well yeah yeah both those things can have double meanings yeah talking about the industry that's good maybe Amy Matthews could be in it yes Amy Matthews could be in it get Jesse Armstrong to write it obviously yeah yeah
I'll just give it to Sam Bain.
Oh, yeah. The other one.
Yeah, because that'd be fun. Go like, look, we're putting you head to head now. Yeah. You've got to go. It's still got to be like Succession, but it's the Bird of Matthew's Empire, and you've got to write it. I don't think Bain's agreeing to that, man. No, well, he knows that we've hobbled him from the start.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the secret ingredient in this episode?
Have you?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, mate.
I don't even think you're gross. I think I'm gross. I think you're weird, like a little alien man. Oh, yeah, sorry.
That's great. That's what you want. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Has anyone ever thought I was gross? No.
Are you now going back through every interaction you've ever had with a famous person?
Yeah, I am actually. I really am. And there's some weird and wonderful ones that have come to mind. My favourite celebrity interaction actually was when I was about 14 and I was in London and I said, apropos of nothing, I really like, what's the guy's name who, what's the guy's name?
Is this part, is this the full quote?
What's the guy's name who plays the dad in My Family?
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Chapter 4: How does Amy describe her dream meal?
Was it? We had a little slice each. A little pie. Delicious.
So nice. I love food. I love food so much. Like, so much.
Good. Have you always felt this way?
Yes. Yeah, I have. I really, really love food. I think food's really important. I think it's a language as well, you know? It's a language. I genuinely really love food. It's so... I realised the other day as well, because I was helping someone with a eulogy. Bear with.
Wow.
Writing it in crayon in your book?
Writing it in crayon. Drawing it on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People talk about food in eulogies so often. You know, like, oh, she used to make this thing for me. Or like, you know, it's like a huge thing. And yeah, I just absolutely love, I love food so much. And I think you can be remembered for your food.
I'm just going to, this is quite a dark question. But when you die, what food do you think someone will write about in your eulogy?
Oh, okay. I made a really, really criminal sandwich.
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Chapter 5: What unique dishes does Amy Matthews choose for her menu?
Yeah, probably.
Well, I definitely show it to my mates. Yeah. I mean, that was like, you're just eating it silently and not sharing it with people. You do have to say, look at this, how big this crisp is. I don't think I'd always say it's the biggest crisp in the world.
No, that's a big statement out the gates. But yeah, maybe they'd mention that. That was quite bad.
Yeah, I think they would mention that. So other people saw you eating this, they saw you preparing it. Yeah. That's awesome.
Yeah, I don't think that's prime.
Would you feel good about that, knowing that in your eulogy is someone talking about your mashed potato sandwich with a big crisp in it?
Yeah, I think so. That's your legacy. I think that'd be fine. That would be all right, wouldn't it? It could be worse.
Yeah, it could be worse.
What would be in your eulogy? Food-wise? Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What are the reactions to Amy's dessert choice?
What would you rather be remembered for, do you think? I want to be cremated and for someone to leave a leg of lamb on top of the coffin as it goes into the... What would you rather be remembered for?
Sweet Home Ketteringer.
Sweet Home Ketteringer. Number one. Sweet Home Ketteringer. Still a sparkling water, Amy.
Oh, sparkling. Definitely. But a fine mousse.
Oh, lovely. Very rare that people bring the mousse situation.
A fine mousse.
Yeah.
Very important. I hate it when the bubbles feel like marbles. I want it to feel like fuzzy felt.
This is good. Fuzzy felt in the mouth. James? Hold on a second. What? Are you worried?
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Chapter 7: What are the flavors and experiences Amy seeks in her food?
I've not been to Naito. I'd absolutely love to go. I've heard it's incredible. It is incredible. Well, you wouldn't be welcome there, man.
That's true. What are his other places? Well, what they might do is send you out just before you get your dessert.
Yeah, yeah.
When the end's in reaching.
Yeah, yeah.
What was the question, sorry?
What are his other places?
His other places, he's got Lila, which is a really, really beautiful fine dining restaurant near Carlton Hill. Azel, which is the original, and that is also a tasting menu restaurant, absolutely superb. And... And Tipo, which is the second most recent one, which is all pasta and Italian infused.
Nice.
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Chapter 8: How does Amy feel about the importance of food in memories?
I mean, yeah.
For the listener.
Yeah, for the listener.
That's quite big.
That's a genie's lamp's worth.
Is that? Yeah, yeah. Big as a genie's lamp. Yeah. Your dream starter. Your menu proper now.
I'm going to upset people.
Oh, great. This is what we like. Cause some controversy. Here we go. Get ready, listeners.
Can I also say how nervous I am to say the forbidden ingredient? I really have to stay at law school.
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