James Clear

I don't think it is actually. We all have habits that are like that. There's two things that made me think. The first is it connects to our conversation about identity from a few minutes ago, which is you started to take pride in it. You cared about how you presented. And the more that we take pride in certain elements of our identity or aspects of who we are, certain parts of our story.

the more strongly that behavior starts to stick. You can imagine a woman who takes pride in how her hair looks. She probably has all kinds of hair care habits and products and things that she does. And she probably doesn't have to convince herself to do them the same way that we talk about convincing ourselves with a lot of other habits.

the more strongly that behavior starts to stick. You can imagine a woman who takes pride in how her hair looks. She probably has all kinds of hair care habits and products and things that she does. And she probably doesn't have to convince herself to do them the same way that we talk about convincing ourselves with a lot of other habits.

Oh, I wish I could write or I wish I would work out or whatever. It's just an element of her identity. She takes pride in and shows she does it like fairly consistently or the guy who gets complimented on the size of his biceps. And so he just never skips arm day in the gym because it's an aspect of his identity that he takes pride in.

Oh, I wish I could write or I wish I would work out or whatever. It's just an element of her identity. She takes pride in and shows she does it like fairly consistently or the guy who gets complimented on the size of his biceps. And so he just never skips arm day in the gym because it's an aspect of his identity that he takes pride in.

What I'm kind of getting at is like, what parts of your story do you take pride in? And once you start to take pride in it, man, you'll fight for it pretty hard to keep it. And in many cases, you'll find yourself doing it. somewhat naturally or at least internally motivated to continue doing it. So that was the first piece.

What I'm kind of getting at is like, what parts of your story do you take pride in? And once you start to take pride in it, man, you'll fight for it pretty hard to keep it. And in many cases, you'll find yourself doing it. somewhat naturally or at least internally motivated to continue doing it. So that was the first piece.

The second piece, and this is something that since Atomic Habits has come out, I think is even more important than I realized when I was writing the book, which is the influence of the social environment on your habits.

The second piece, and this is something that since Atomic Habits has come out, I think is even more important than I realized when I was writing the book, which is the influence of the social environment on your habits.

So in your case, the med school interviews, it was actually the image in your mind, the expectation about what other people might think and how you would present in that interview and so on. the judgment of others, essentially, that help drive that change. And if you look at behaviors that really stick, the ones that tend to stick for 10 or 20 or 30 years, a long time,

So in your case, the med school interviews, it was actually the image in your mind, the expectation about what other people might think and how you would present in that interview and so on. the judgment of others, essentially, that help drive that change. And if you look at behaviors that really stick, the ones that tend to stick for 10 or 20 or 30 years, a long time,

there's often a strong social component involved. So for example, we are all part of multiple tribes. Some of those tribes are large, like what it means to be American, or some of those tribes are small, like being a member of your CrossFit gym or being a neighbor on your street. Take the neighborhood example. You might walk outside,

there's often a strong social component involved. So for example, we are all part of multiple tribes. Some of those tribes are large, like what it means to be American, or some of those tribes are small, like being a member of your CrossFit gym or being a neighbor on your street. Take the neighborhood example. You might walk outside,

and see your neighbor mowing their grass on Wednesday night or something and think, oh, I need to cut my lawn. And you'll stick with that habit of mowing your grass for 20 or 30 years or however long you live in that house. Like we wish we had that level of consistency with most of our other habits. And why do you do it?

and see your neighbor mowing their grass on Wednesday night or something and think, oh, I need to cut my lawn. And you'll stick with that habit of mowing your grass for 20 or 30 years or however long you live in that house. Like we wish we had that level of consistency with most of our other habits. And why do you do it?

Partially you do it because it feels good to have a clean lawn, but mostly you do it because you don't want to be judged by the other people in the neighborhood for being the sloppy one. And so it's actually that social norm, that expectation for what it means to be part of this neighborhood and how you act in this group or this tribe that helps get the habit to stick.

Partially you do it because it feels good to have a clean lawn, but mostly you do it because you don't want to be judged by the other people in the neighborhood for being the sloppy one. And so it's actually that social norm, that expectation for what it means to be part of this neighborhood and how you act in this group or this tribe that helps get the habit to stick.

I think the practical takeaway there, if you really want a behavior change to last, is to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. Because if it's normal in that group, it's gonna seem much more normal and typical for you to do it. I mean, Peter, I'm sure you're part of multiple groups that do what most people would determine are like weird habits.

I think the practical takeaway there, if you really want a behavior change to last, is to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. Because if it's normal in that group, it's gonna seem much more normal and typical for you to do it. I mean, Peter, I'm sure you're part of multiple groups that do what most people would determine are like weird habits.

Like I'm sure there's a group of friends who are really into driving cars. And there's probably another group who's like really into bow hunting and archery. And there are all kinds of habits that these little tribes do.