James Cordova

Those are going to be sources of conflict.

We think of them as naturally occurring flaws in the fabric of our relationship.

So, for example, one of the most fundamental personality traits is the difference between introverts and extroverts.

And for whatever reason, because the creator of the universe has a sense of humor, introverts and extroverts find each other very attractive and often end up in relationships together.

Yeah.

And introverts can be attracted to extroverts because they pull them out and have great adventures with them.

And extroverts can be attracted to introverts because of that sort of steadiness.

And there's a kind of connection that comes with that sense of steady calm.

And...

what we're going to do on a Friday night is always going to be an issue because it's arising out of a fundamental difference between the two of us.

If I'm an extrovert, I've had an exhausting week.

I want to go out and do something fun.

If I'm an introvert, I've had an exhausting week.

I want to sit on the couch and watch TV.

And we're going to fight every time about that.

That seems to be the main thing that happens.

When you have a conflictual couple together in the lab, it looks like they're terrible at communicating.

And it looks like they're terrible at problem solving.

Like they actually have a skill deficit.

But if you take those two people,