James Sexton

You don't get to skip them.

But if you don't allow it to make you so bitter that you close off the part of yourself that naturally really wants to love and be loved, I think you can see, just like I said, just like the great pain of losing mom, going through illness, there's beauty that can be found in that.

There's growth that can be found in that.

Tremendous growth that can be found in that.

As each year passes, I see more of her in me now.

I think the fact that she's not here anymore for me to see it in her, I see it when it comes out in me.

Like when I say something and it's like the way my mom would have said it, I go, oh my God, that was so my mom.

And it's like she visited for a second.

And I think it was always there.

I know how much it shaped me, how much she shaped me, and how many of the best parts of me were born of her.

But I see it more clearly now because the silence is deafening.

She's not here anymore.

But the parts of me, the parts of my sons, the parts of the world that...

are in, like, my mom, I agree, like, I feel like my mom's kind of everywhere now.

And I like to think that, you know, she has the answers now to all the questions that she had, you know?

The idea, somebody said to me once, like, they were like, oh, you know, I think your mom's watching over you.

And I, I mean, I love the sentiment behind that because what they're trying to say is, like, she's still here.

Like, she's still here and, you know, she's still in this, you know?

But, like, I don't,

I don't know that I like want her watching me, you know, like I masturbate.