Jamie Feldman

So here I am, stepping into my truth, bearing my insecurities, facing my past. I'm just beginning my unlearning of how I was taught and not taught about the concept of money and debt and choices and responsibility. And as I take a step toward healing the problem, this is the messaging I get. Shame on you. Actually, it was even more unhinged than that.

So here I am, stepping into my truth, bearing my insecurities, facing my past. I'm just beginning my unlearning of how I was taught and not taught about the concept of money and debt and choices and responsibility. And as I take a step toward healing the problem, this is the messaging I get. Shame on you. Actually, it was even more unhinged than that.

People are angry with people like me.

People are angry with people like me.

And they want me to know it.

And they want me to know it.

Thanks, Dottie. I came here to connect, but these voices reminded me that our culture understands financial failure as moral failure, that so much of the language around financial advice is infused with puritanical philosophies and methods. I started to hear the language everywhere, like this sentiment from personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary.

Thanks, Dottie. I came here to connect, but these voices reminded me that our culture understands financial failure as moral failure, that so much of the language around financial advice is infused with puritanical philosophies and methods. I started to hear the language everywhere, like this sentiment from personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary.

After sharing a handful of tips and tricks for getting out of debt, she said something I've struggled to forget. That I should be suffering.

After sharing a handful of tips and tricks for getting out of debt, she said something I've struggled to forget. That I should be suffering.

I remember hearing that and thinking, don't they realize that suffering is what got me here in the first place?

I remember hearing that and thinking, don't they realize that suffering is what got me here in the first place?

I didn't tell anyone anything about my debt for over a decade because I was so deeply ashamed and convinced that I was the only one. I not only believed that I alone had failed, I believed that this failure made me a bad person. I remember the day I told you about my debt, I was terrified that when you found out you were going to think differently of me.

I didn't tell anyone anything about my debt for over a decade because I was so deeply ashamed and convinced that I was the only one. I not only believed that I alone had failed, I believed that this failure made me a bad person. I remember the day I told you about my debt, I was terrified that when you found out you were going to think differently of me.

Like, that you were going to realize that I'd been lying to you about something terrible this whole time.

Like, that you were going to realize that I'd been lying to you about something terrible this whole time.

Yeah, which is really the worst part of it all.

Yeah, which is really the worst part of it all.

Okay, sure, I shouldn't have been dropping $100 at group dinners or trying to keep up with all the latest fashion trends. Those were choices. But I didn't choose to attend $100 group dinners because I'm obsessed with overpaying for mediocre food. I went to social events and bought clothes to fit in because it's culturally expected to stay part of the group.

Okay, sure, I shouldn't have been dropping $100 at group dinners or trying to keep up with all the latest fashion trends. Those were choices. But I didn't choose to attend $100 group dinners because I'm obsessed with overpaying for mediocre food. I went to social events and bought clothes to fit in because it's culturally expected to stay part of the group.