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Jan Jachimowicz

👤 Person
370 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

I was working on other papers at the time.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Just because I'd finished one paper, it doesn't mean that other papers didn't need to be written on and didn't need to analyze data for.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

But then showing up to my office the next day and coming back and trying to analyze data or write a paper when I knew this didn't really make a difference the last time.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Why would it be any different this time?

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

That was really, really challenging.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Yeah, so I think the key insight that I learned in that time was that passion isn't something that you have, but something that you have to sustain.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Meaning that passion, kind of like a delicate flower, you have to look after it.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

You have to water it, you have to prune it, you have to make sure it gets enough sunlight.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

It doesn't just grow and bloom beautifully by itself.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

But when I was starting this project and really starting to think about my research on passion, I looked at passionate people as if they were different from me, as if there was something different about those people, that they were special, that they had something that I didn't have, and that as a result, I might never be as passionate as they would be.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Meaning, if I lost passion for something, the inference that I draw from that is that there's something wrong with me,

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

and that in turn I will never become someone like them.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

But what I ended up actually learning is that almost everybody that I talked to had an experience of having fallen out of passion, of having to learn that passion is something that they have to maintain, and that there was a wide variety of practices that they had all learned for themselves because there was nothing really codified.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

but strategies that they now engaged in on a regular basis that allowed them to sustain that passion day in and day out, as well as an acknowledgement, kind of an acceptance internally that it's okay if you don't feel that passion every single day.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

That's a great question from Julio.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

And I think there's two things really to tease apart there.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

I think one is that in many jobs, the majority of the tasks that we work on aren't in and of themselves gratifying.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

This is what research calls intrinsic motivation, that the task in and of itself is really gratifying, that we get a lot out of just doing the task in and of itself.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

When I do research, the vast majority of my time is not really fun.

Hidden Brain
Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

I write, I analyze data.