Jane

Hi, Dr. John.

Thank you so much for taking my call.

Thank you for calling.

Yeah, so I'll get right into it.

So my question is, how do I set and maintain boundaries with my parents so I can go live my life when they're so insistent that it's my duty to take care of them until they're gone?

It's a cultural context.

So we are first-generation immigrants.

Okay.

We moved here many decades ago when I was a child, and my parents started a small business.

They were working long hours, and understandably, they were stressed out being in a whole new country.

Yeah, what a nightmare.

Yeah.

And they never were able to dedicate the time and effort to learn English.

Okay.

So they've just...

known the bare minimum to get through their day to day.

And it's been the way of life for me to translate every piece of mail, like business documents, take time off school and work to go with them to like doctor's appointments and, you know, like, um, car repairs to the bank, like all of those things that come up, that's like outside of the daily routine.

Um, and now that they are aging and, um,

you know, their health is deteriorating and things like that.

They've gotten so dependent on me that I'm unable to like make plans for my life.