Jane

But now I'm really focused on how it's coming to fruition through pregnancy.

Right.

I'm laughing because it's just the thought I have every day.

I'm like, I feel so crazy.

How is it that so many people have gone through this for millennia and it's just normal.

It's so not normal.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That reframe feels big because I do like my pregnancy has been

probably in some ways pretty standard, but it has felt really terrible, like physically and mentally and emotionally.

And I have just had so many thoughts of kind of frustration and resentment and sadness towards

feeling so out of my body or so focused on myself.

And I guess there's a part of me that really worries, is there some imprint this is creating emotionally, psychically, I don't know, on my kid that it could be misunderstood as it's your fault?

Because I'm not thinking that at any point.

I'm never faulting my baby for me bringing it into existence.

But because the just like the experience of pregnancy has been so uncomfortable and like I've spent so much time being like, I don't like this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To be honest, there was a portion of my life where I was like, I don't think I want kids.