Jason Ingber

She'll text me and then not return, not text me again.

And I don't respond.

And then like a couple of days later, she's like, hey, didn't want to bother you, but I did text you about three days ago.

I'm so sorry.

I know you're busy.

And also I wanted to mention that I got another email from so-and-so and I'm like, why didn't you text me again?

Why didn't you?

I don't want to bother.

Like, you're not bothering.

I had to get on the phone with her and say, listen.

You have to treat me like a small child.

I went all kinds of directions.

Tell me, text me back in an hour and say, hey, I need to know.

I promise you, you're not going to offend me.

I used to have a guy that would strip me down naked and ask me to turn around, squat and cough so he could look at my fucking ass before he'd let me go in the next room to talk to my mother.

I cannot be embarrassed.

I cannot be, you know, you're not offended.

I can't be offended.

So I explained that without the bend over and squat comment.

And she was like, are you sure?