Jason McKenzie

It was a long time afterwards where I was talking to a therapist friend of mine who has been working the mental health space forever. And I was talking about this experience and she goes, Cindy wasn't bipolar because she had a chemical imbalance. She was having emotionally driven responses to trauma and invalidating experiences. And she explained to me how that all worked.

And it was like, man, that's pretty eyeopening, pretty eyeopening experience. Yeah, I mean, so anyways, my point to that was, you know, I'm not like a mental health expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I used to do a podcast called Mental Health Warriors. I run a community for men dealing with mental health issues.

And it was like, man, that's pretty eyeopening, pretty eyeopening experience. Yeah, I mean, so anyways, my point to that was, you know, I'm not like a mental health expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I used to do a podcast called Mental Health Warriors. I run a community for men dealing with mental health issues.

And it was like, man, that's pretty eyeopening, pretty eyeopening experience. Yeah, I mean, so anyways, my point to that was, you know, I'm not like a mental health expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I used to do a podcast called Mental Health Warriors. I run a community for men dealing with mental health issues.

I'm not doing that now, but I've actually been thinking about doing it again. Interestingly, in that community, there was a couple hundred guys in there at one point, and I would always talk to the guys that came in, and every single one had trauma when they were basically a kid. Something terrible happened to them when they were a kid. Now they're in their 40s, 30s, 40s, 50s.

I'm not doing that now, but I've actually been thinking about doing it again. Interestingly, in that community, there was a couple hundred guys in there at one point, and I would always talk to the guys that came in, and every single one had trauma when they were basically a kid. Something terrible happened to them when they were a kid. Now they're in their 40s, 30s, 40s, 50s.

I'm not doing that now, but I've actually been thinking about doing it again. Interestingly, in that community, there was a couple hundred guys in there at one point, and I would always talk to the guys that came in, and every single one had trauma when they were basically a kid. Something terrible happened to them when they were a kid. Now they're in their 40s, 30s, 40s, 50s.

So many of them don't see the thread that runs through their whole life because it happened all that time ago. What does that have to do with me being in my 50s and being an alcoholic or being like depressed or being like full of rage? You know, just fascinating.

So many of them don't see the thread that runs through their whole life because it happened all that time ago. What does that have to do with me being in my 50s and being an alcoholic or being like depressed or being like full of rage? You know, just fascinating.

So many of them don't see the thread that runs through their whole life because it happened all that time ago. What does that have to do with me being in my 50s and being an alcoholic or being like depressed or being like full of rage? You know, just fascinating.

absolutely absolutely right you know what for me like so i i had a what am i during my wife's you know i mean trying to like that whole situation was just a freaking nightmare trying to raise two kids and all this stuff and keep her alive and so during that time i developed a huge drinking problem not even intentionally but for me being a typical guy all i wanted people to see like what was important for me to to project to the world was that i had my shit together

absolutely absolutely right you know what for me like so i i had a what am i during my wife's you know i mean trying to like that whole situation was just a freaking nightmare trying to raise two kids and all this stuff and keep her alive and so during that time i developed a huge drinking problem not even intentionally but for me being a typical guy all i wanted people to see like what was important for me to to project to the world was that i had my shit together

absolutely absolutely right you know what for me like so i i had a what am i during my wife's you know i mean trying to like that whole situation was just a freaking nightmare trying to raise two kids and all this stuff and keep her alive and so during that time i developed a huge drinking problem not even intentionally but for me being a typical guy all i wanted people to see like what was important for me to to project to the world was that i had my shit together

No one can have their shit together in a situation like that. It was a complete disaster every day. I'm not going to talk about all the terrible things that are going on in my head and heart. So I drank to make them go away without even thinking about it. Like, it wasn't like that was not an intentional strategy.

No one can have their shit together in a situation like that. It was a complete disaster every day. I'm not going to talk about all the terrible things that are going on in my head and heart. So I drank to make them go away without even thinking about it. Like, it wasn't like that was not an intentional strategy.

No one can have their shit together in a situation like that. It was a complete disaster every day. I'm not going to talk about all the terrible things that are going on in my head and heart. So I drank to make them go away without even thinking about it. Like, it wasn't like that was not an intentional strategy.

And then afterwards, after my wife died, I drank every day, a lot every day for four and a half years. And I got remarried and everything and, you know, and finally had like my, you know, quote, rock bottom moment or whatever. And about six months later, I started to grieve my wife's death. So it was like five years after she died now. That process, I didn't even know it was happening to me.

And then afterwards, after my wife died, I drank every day, a lot every day for four and a half years. And I got remarried and everything and, you know, and finally had like my, you know, quote, rock bottom moment or whatever. And about six months later, I started to grieve my wife's death. So it was like five years after she died now. That process, I didn't even know it was happening to me.

And then afterwards, after my wife died, I drank every day, a lot every day for four and a half years. And I got remarried and everything and, you know, and finally had like my, you know, quote, rock bottom moment or whatever. And about six months later, I started to grieve my wife's death. So it was like five years after she died now. That process, I didn't even know it was happening to me.

I thought I was going crazy, actually. And my wife said, You're grieving, you freaking idiot. Like, oh God, maybe I am. But what I realized afterwards is it never occurred to me, like not even a single time that I was drinking to numb the pain for my wife's death. Because I thought I had put it behind me, whatever that even means. Like, it never crossed my mind.