Jasper

Boys, how are we?

Good, mate.

It's Jasper here from... Jasper.

Shitty old England.

Sent the fucking criminals to paradise, I reckon.

Got a yarn, as you boys would say, about a time when I was at university and...

I was a little bit more of a rascal than I am now.

So I decided, for your pleasure and your ears, to turn it into a little poem.

There once was a rascal called Jazzy, got a match on Tinder and he was happy.

Saw she was bi, was a naughty little surprise, so a date to meet her was planning.

So off to a gay bar they went, he said a gay joke as he was spent.

She didn't like that, she thought he was a twat, and no shag was happening that weekend.

But...

With charm and a cheeky smile, he bullshitted to this girl for a while.

She decided to forgive him, and they decided to get another drink in, and he left hers in the morning with a smile.

So that was for you, boys.

That was a true story about my previous endeavours as a youngling.

I love what you're doing with the podcast, boys.

Keep it going.

You're definitely clearing my head noise.