Javi Marroquin

And not just me. Because I know that means a lot to him and it means a lot to us to have what we have. The time that we're getting this year. So it'll take communication next year. Like, I know your worries of things flipping. But I think us as a family, what we have now would... Is what's best. I'm at peace knowing you got to school. I have no doubt in that. And we got...

The holidays and the summer where we celebrate those like that. Honestly, like we already talked about, we don't have to talk about it again. My biggest worry is just... The sports. Him not having you physically present. I think that's what it is. Him not having you physically present. And this next year is when he's going to need you the most without me as a parent here.

Because here in Delaware, one of us is always here no matter what. And so me not being here, that's all I worry about. And I think this year it's going to take...

Yeah.

You're talking about the adult relationships?

It solely falls on you. And I thought part of my argument was you can't be at two places at once, right? So like, let's take this past weekend. Lux had soccer here. Lincoln had basketball practice here. Without me here, it's different because... But I ended up making it work. Yeah, yeah. But one kid is always going to have to sacrifice, whether it's Lux, Lincoln, Creed, when he gets older.

Yeah. And I have no doubt that we'd be able to figure that out. I just also want you to...

understand and respect is that like the summer is probably all realistically Lincoln and Eli and Maisie are going to have to bond because if he's in this travel sports throughout the school year yeah my long weekends and my holidays are probably going to consist of us coming and staying in Delaware on those weekends right so a lot of the times it's not going to be

you know, yeah, we're going to meet halfway and then we're going to go back to Virginia for the weekend.

And then, so, and I, and I say that to say like, so in the summers, you know, yeah, we already talked about that week. I'm sure if you want to come great. Yeah. But just know that that is my time to, Or not me, it's the three of them time to bond because they're not going to get to see Lincoln or we're going to be in hotels up in Delaware at Lauren's house.

So I just want you to understand where I'll be coming from.

We haven't told anyone, really, besides our media family. Absolutely no one knows. Like, there's not even a single maybe random friend that knows.

That no one's leaked it or that we're private?

I don't really talk about it. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm scared of... Maybe I don't want to hear the reactions. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to hear what people have to say. I don't want to hear... That's why this was so hard to me. I don't want to hear... And like I said, it doesn't bother me, but I still don't want to read it.

Right. And that's why I felt that coming together was probably... will help minimize that as far as people saying, I don't know, I'm sure you're going to get people saying, oh, well, you should let him go with Javi. You know, he loves him. Or Javi, how could you leave Lincoln here? You're a shitty dad. Hopefully us coming together would minimize.

A kid, a child is always going to have to sacrifice because there's only one of you. And that was my argument. What I was trying to portray to you is that's why I thought it was better than me because I can be at everything.

I don't know. They're going to say something. We're not going to please everybody. And we're not here to. Right. So I just thought us coming together would help a little bit of the damage control, I guess.

We don't really talk to anyone because I don't want to hear it.

i could i could i only have two boys two boys that are in sports and so that's just where that's where i'm honestly and then and i'm telling you that genuinely and respectfully i'm not trying to disrespect you and i'm not taking it as just yeah that's that's where i'm worried at for this next year of how it's going to go well i think the pot the good thing is that you can still look online for places to sign him up and if you do we can still operate the same way you're just not here you could just be like hey kale i saw this sign up

Well, I think when we were in Madrid and we had that situation that popped up, I think I told you, I said, we need to figure this out for Lincoln before it gets to the judge. So then in mediation, it was like, for me, when I called Lauren, I said, well, I'm not leaving it up to the judge. I'm not going to let him decide what we're going to do. For Lincoln's sake, we need to decide.

Tell him and navigate forward.

Yeah, the only thing I'll say is that I am glad that we're all have Lincoln in the forefront and makes the time that we're going to split more at peace. So what I mean is, you know, knowing that Lincoln is going to spend more time with Elijah during the school, I'm at peace knowing that he's going to be in good hands and he's going to, you know, I don't have anything to worry about.

And I'm sure you feel the same on the back end where, you know, when he's not with you. So that makes it a lot more peaceful when we're not coming at each other's necks. Literally, I'm glad Lincoln's older so we don't really have to talk about much besides whatever's going on in his life. So it makes the transition easier.

Yeah, I really want peace with everybody. I'm not – I'm 32. I'm just – There's no reason for us to be beefing. If it's not dealing with personal issues, as long as no one's talking bad about someone else, there's really no reason why we can't figure it out for Lincoln. And I think this kind of proved it.

Ballard's really outgoing, so she really breaks the ice a lot. Yeah, I was about to say.

The Rock was a fairy in one of his movies, so that's a compliment. Two fairies, two fairies.

Yeah, and I appreciate that. I think he'll need that. Honestly, I think he will. And no offense to you, I think it's...

No, I'm leaving pretty soon. That's it.

I guess we'll see when it comes out.

situation but i think their ages have allowed me to be in multiple places because the games are so there's so many at different times but in the same state so now that lincoln's in travel soccer we're committing to him i mean i've told you for a long time lincoln is at an age we are behind the curve so finally okay this seems like a great program i love the coach i love that he has him out there in the rain

All his games are basically in Maryland. Right. So now it's stretching you even more. And again, the custody is fine and it is what it is. We're going to have to figure it out and you're going to have to figure it out. Essentially, a lot of it's going to fall on you to get them there. I just worry that the commitment and you having to be so many different places, it's going to be a lot.

And I don't want Lincoln to feel the... What's the word? Not ramifications, but the difference that I'm not here and my mom has to be at so many different places.

Yeah, I mean, we have no choice. I mean, we're talented enough to do what?

No, it is. I truly struggle. It makes me sad and emotional that if you're not there, he won't have anyone.

Okay. Right. I'm not going to tell you... how to stretch yourself thin or how to make yourself five different places at once. But I just, no, I don't want to.

I just, I just, I honestly don't think, and this is no disrespect, I don't think you understand the schedules as your younger kids get older, needing to be the sacrifice. I don't know. The sacrifice someone is going to make, if it's not Lincoln, it's the younger kids. If it's the younger kids, it's going to be Lincoln. Yeah.

And that's why I thought he was, well, I stood the way I did at mediation. Because at least if I thought, this is why, honestly, I thought we were in such a good place co-parenting that you would have seen that. We're like, okay, Lincoln and Eli are going to be in the same team, essentially. They play the same sport. So it would have, Javi's always going to be there.

Where you, there's such a big gap between Lincoln and Creed right now. And then when Rio comes up, the commitment of sports is going to be different, right? So Lincoln, so Elijah will take the youngers and you take Lincoln or vice versa.

To who?

No.

This is the first time I thought this was probably the best way to hear it out of both of our mouths. as opposed to going back and forth on social media.

It was hard for me because I've...

kind of chosen a more peaceful approach to my life and not you know we're not really talking about my personal stuff don't need to go on camera and talk about anything so then it was like dang if i do this it kind of opens up you know a whole nother can of worms all the trolls all the not that this stuff bothers me but it was just like i've been on such a for years now it's just been

I'm not creating any drama, I'm not part of any drama and it was nice. So it was just, I didn't know how the reaction to this would go and I guess we'll see how it is.

I don't think we thought of an alternative. The alternative was, hey, go on my Instagram and post a video and say, this is the situation. We figured out custody. We're moving. And that was that. And so I thought this was the best way to communicate with you. And everyone could hear it, your side and my side. And this is where we're at.

To be honest, it's very stressful. Stressful in a way where... I've never moved. So just like Delaware is all I've known. So now to.

Yeah, but I mean, I've been, my adult years, I've been in Delaware, right?

So, and now I have kids and a family. So it's stressful to think where, hey, the time is coming up and we haven't even packed a single thing. And not only on top of that, hey, I'm going to have to give up Lincoln here short, knock him up, but he's not going to be with us here shortly. So I don't think it's hit us yet because we have so many different things going.

Sports are so busy and life is just busy. I don't know. Just now that you say that, it's starting to hit me. I don't know. It's not easy.

I don't think I'm afraid that we can't do that. I don't know if afraid is not the right word. I just don't know if... You understand. I'm sure you do. And I'm sure you've thought about the complexity of how much more workload because usually I handle the sports. Hey, I'm signing up Lincoln here. Just send me half. I'll send you the schedule, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, it's hard to think that Lincoln won't have one of us.

Now, a lot of times you have so much going on. You have so many outside people just work in your calendar or I need to be here. I need to be there. So now that it all falls on you.

Yeah. This has been the hardest thing I go through and I struggle with next year. What if I'm happy with the way it is as far as Right now, I think this is the best decision we made where you don't really celebrate the holidays like we do. So, you know, talking about it with Lauren, it's like, well, since we do, maybe this is a good first year trial. But then what if next year it flips?

And what if Lincoln, like, I don't think Lincoln, talking up what's in the words, Lincoln, I'm worried he won't, I don't know. What's the words I'm looking for, babe? Yeah, maybe like you were saying, like it might not be permanent. So what if you get him this year and the next year he says he wants to switch? Well, then everyone has to adapt. We just had him for the summer.

We have all these players and now we got to flip it.

that's what i'm worried about and not like bashing you or like saying you're not gonna be able to handle it i'm just worried maybe it's a control thing i just don't know if you understand how much is coming onto your plate without me being here and you handle the dentist all that you do all that i handle the sports and everything else on that side so i just that's all i'm worried about not that you can't handle it not that elijah can't handle it but like you were saying with the kids elijah can't go to those so it's it's

Yeah. I think... This first year, it's going to take a lot of communication, a lot of asking Lincoln how he's doing.

Yeah, a lot of stress, and honestly, I'm at peace with the custody we've arranged. I mean, when I was hot, I was sad, I was emotional. Like, when we, after mediation, and I was like, this is, for me, I thought this was the end of the world. I was like, this sucks. This is not what I wanted. I'm getting the shit end of the deal.

And then when Lauren brought it, that point of view, I'm like, well, damn, you're right. You know, she doesn't celebrate Christmas, and we do. So if the worlds were reversed... Not that he wouldn't have a good Christmas with you if it was just him, but he would be missing out on that time that we do it, and we've had those traditions over the years. And so that's where I struggle.

Next year, I don't know how it would be if he said he would. I don't know. I'm scared if he would want to change, honestly, and that's where I'm at. So if he says next year, hey, I want to go to Virginia, I don't know if I would. Not that I wouldn't want to. Obviously, hey, let's figure this out if you want to come here, but I want him to understand what he would be... Giving up. Yes.

No, I don't care.

I think prior to Madrid, we were struggling with Lincoln because he thought all four of us were always clashing. And so he got away with, or tried to get away with a couple of things, doing things differently here, coming to our house and saying and doing things differently so that me and you would clash and be like, well, he's saying this, he's saying this over here.

So, okay, so, you know, so then I think Madrid helped that and being, okay, well, four of them are getting along, so... I don't know if I'm getting it wrong, but all four of them have my best interest, so we're trying to get Lincoln.

My friends, I mean, they crack jokes here and there, but they don't... I mean, it's been so far, I don't even know. Because I'm in a whole new career than when I started, when I first went.

Good. I mean, with what's going to go down, I mean, I feel like a bigger layer of trust has to be there. And I genuinely, you know, I'm at peace and I'm okay knowing that Lincoln has him and he's going to be okay. Right.

Co-parents, specifically.

Yeah, no, I just mean, like, if we could just avoid the talking on, you know, the jokes and stuff like that, I think co-parenting is an issue.

No, no, no, on the podcast. Just, like, about, like, past stuff. No, no, no, yeah, we don't joke. Like, no, no, no, I just mean, like, the past. Because it's hard for me. I tell you, like... Well, I don't tell you all the time, but like when I hear those jokes, it's hard for me to then, okay, I have to go. So we have to go be nice at basketball or soccer.

You know, the kids played soccer on the same team this year. So it was just like, you know, it was just hard for me. So Eli and Lex are on the same, well, they played on the same team and I was coaching them. So, so yeah, it was, yeah.

Even after the soccer, Lauren said I was mean. As long as I'm a mean coach.

One, I realized coaching that team, I do not like coaching at all.

Too much stress, too much the high expectations I've been told, and sometimes my voice, the way I come across the field, like it's just very, I just think I'm loud and I'm positive, but I've been told it doesn't come off that way. I don't know. So it's just, you know, I never want to make a kid feel bad, but it's just I have, maybe I'm just, I don't know, high standards. I don't know.

I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done. I'm done coaching.

No.

And Lauren won't let me anyway.

Yeah, so she feels what I feel.

how does it look like for me in like a professional standpoint?

Okay.

And basically what happens was we already kind of touched on it. My time was coming up. So it was like, okay, well, where can I go? What are my options? Um, so Virginia came up and, um, After talking about it with Lauren, we felt like that was probably best case scenario. They didn't know what was going to happen with Lincoln. We thought worst case scenario were at least driving distance.

We don't have to jump on a plane or anything like that. So it was, hey, take Virginia or when your time does come up, when your three year mark hits, you're going to get whatever is whatever is on the table.

Yeah, it could have been California, whatever was on the table at that time. So I wouldn't have I would have to pick out of whatever is on there.

So how it works is positions come out every month. So you see who's applying. You see who gets those positions. So the Maryland and New Jersey's just got there. So I knew they had three years there at least at a minimum before those positions would open up again. So I was like, okay, well, that's taking me off the board for those. So what's left? And then it was like, well, Virginia's coming up.

And I was like, okay, well, that's the next closest. That's probably the best case scenario. So I didn't want to take that risk of waiting to the end of either deciding, hey, we're moving to wherever or I got to get out. And I don't think getting out was an option for me.

because I didn't want to move. In that time, I opened up the gym and then I went into the reserve side of the house. And then a guy that came to my gym, he offered me a job back in active duty. And he was like, I can put you, you can stay here in Delaware. So I was like, okay, can't pass that up.

No, this is strictly professional work wise. I mean, the military has done so many good things for all of us. I mean, it pays for Lincoln's health insurance. It'll pay for some of the school when he gets there. I've been in for 12 years. I've worked too hard to get to where I'm at as far as rank and all that stuff where I'm sitting at the table. I'm really good at it.

No, the thought process, the decision-making was strictly... Hey, I need to take my career into my own hands before they tell me this is all you got left.

And custody and all that would have been way different than what we came to. A plane ride would have just, yeah, that would have...

Yeah, that would have been tough.

And then since then, from year six to 12 now, I've exhausted all my positions in Delaware that I could take and stay here.

Active duty was full-time and reserve is part-time, essentially.

You don't think so?

So like when I brought it to you, obviously the initial emotions and all that kicking in, everyone's angry. Okay, let's let it dust off. And then how'd you feel? Or what was your mind? What did you think? Cause I told you basically I wanted Lincoln. I think I told you I wanted Lincoln for the school year. Or I might have not said that, but I told you I thought Lincoln was not better.

Yes, exactly.

Because this is a shitty situation. It's not like you have two shitty parents, and it's a no-brainer, right? He deserves to be with this parent more than this parent, right? I feel like it was down the middle. I simply just took it as I thought my connection with Lincoln was a little bit more crucial at the age he's at to be with me. I don't want to say more important.

It was more crucial to be with me now for the next three years or whatever than it was to stay. So that was my standpoint, and that's how I was looking at it when I approached you. How did you feel?

Yeah, they would have. They would have said, hey, it's time, if you want to stay in this, so I'm recruiting now. So if you want to stay in recruiting, stay in this job. You need to grow and you can't do the same. Basically, we're all capped out. So once you're in this job, you're capped out at three years. That's when I started in Dover. I was like, okay, well, can I take the Newark spot?

He was. I was very discouraged after that call. I'm not going to lie. I was very discouraged. Well, after that call, I was like... I think I told Lauren. I was like, this sucks. I'm not going to get nothing. This judge is like... What did it... Well, me and you butted heads... Let's backtrack a little bit, if you don't mind.

Me and you butted heads because you felt... And correct me if I'm wrong... that Lincoln shouldn't have been involved. I maybe, what was it like the, you didn't want me to tell him or you didn't want me to, or you didn't want him to know something like that.

Fair. Well, yeah, that's what he said. But where I was coming from with that was my path of moving forward with custody was going to be based off of his answer, right? And so if he would have said... it was either school year or summer because let's get that. I think both of our attorneys said, Hey, this is, this is no other way to do it. This is the baseline. So one parent is going to get school.

One parent's going to get summer. We'll figure out the holidays. So it was okay. That's at a minimum. So it was like, okay, link, this is the situation. I wasn't, if, if I'm moving, it's, this is, I'm moving. How do you feel about it? This is it. School year, where do you want to go?

Because based off of his answer was going to be my driving factor of, hey, is this even a fight I'm going to put up? Or if he says, hey, I want to stay with my mom. Okay, well, then what am I fighting for? If you don't want to come with me, that's how I took. So if he would have said that, then I don't need it. Why am I going to spend $1,000 on an attorney and put this in a judge's hand?

So for me, when he was like, no, I want to go with you. And it's hard. I get it. He's telling you one thing. He wants to stay with you. He's telling us he wants to go with us. And I can't imagine the emotions and feelings an 11-year-old is going through. So for him to say, hey, I want to go with you, it's like, OK, well, I'm going to do everything I can. It's just a pain.

This is a feeling that is a shitty feeling for everybody. And it sucks because he cries with me and he cries with you. It was the same, right? So he would go to sleep. And I'm saying, hey, are you OK? You know, he'll just start crying and I want to go with you. And I know I'm doing, you know, let me handle that. I'm doing everything I can where you just got to let it ride out.

Newark, Delaware, for those of you who don't know. They gave me Newark and now I'm capped out here. So there's no other place, no other job I can kind of jump to.

And so that was my driving force as to why I thought I needed to tell Lincoln. And then when we got with the judge, he was like, oh, well, why does he even tell him or something like that? I'm like, I just don't get it. I don't understand it. Still? No. How can you not... Lincoln's not Lux or Creed's age, right? I get that. If they're that little... Lincoln's 11 or 10 at the time, whatever he was.

How can you not get his opinion on it?

So he's torn, what do you mean?

Because if you're doing a good job in this area, they want to see you grow. Okay, well, go do it over here.

But correct me if I'm wrong, we couldn't get with him together because we didn't agree on what each other wanted. I can't remember. I thought we argued email.

Yeah, well, I don't because I remember we couldn't tell them together because we weren't agreeing on something. I don't remember exactly. I think it was that I think it was like, Oh, yeah, I think you you didn't want to tell him and I did. I said, Well, I'm going to tell him he's my son. You know, I think that might have been it.

I was very discouraged after that. The judge came in and he was hot and he was, I don't think he was anti-military, but he was just like, oh, well, he's going to move. And I felt very discouraged.

Yeah, well, I thought I was losing the battle, and not to put it in that tense, but I thought when we met at mediation, I felt kind of backed in a corner, honestly. I mean, honestly, I felt like I was in a corner. I remember I called Lauren crying, saying, I have to take it. If it goes to a judge, I'm going to lose. If it goes to a judge, it's going to be worse.

And we can get into the details of that when we don't fast forward, but I felt like I was in a corner by the time we met in that mediation room.

Conflicted. Part of me doesn't understand. So we agreed in one year, whatever Lincoln says, that's kind of right. So it was like, how does one year make that much of a difference that that's what you fought for? I think it's... You're... Does that make sense?

Yeah. I mean, I struggle. Part of my argument before we even went to mediation was I struggle with I told you your career. So like the way the custody is written out here is you'll have them school year. I don't know if you want to say talk details, but you'll have, you'll have them school year. I'll have them summer and then all the holidays and three days in between.

So it was like, okay, you're going to be the primary, but just like I'm putting my career, you know, this is what I got to do for my career. Same as you, right? You're busy, you know, your network and everything's blowing up, which is great. But for you to want that bond, how are you going to do that?

There's nowhere for me to come back to. That's the problem. There's nowhere for me to come back to.

Recruiting, it's, yeah, I mean, everything's always up for consideration. I mean, hey, we'll give you a strike, you know, E8 if you take Dover or, you know, stuff like that. I don't know. You know, there's a career path for me, and what that looks like, I don't know yet. I just know right now, I gotta go crush it in Virginia, right?

So I know right now, the next step of my career is, hey, we know you're gonna go crush it in Virginia, go crush it in Virginia. That's what we need you to do right now. Okay, so once Virginia's up, what's next? Where do you guys need me, right? And so that's where I struggle. And honestly, for you, right, and same for me, I gotta be okay with it too, is Lincoln's gonna come to an age

Where the custody we have, he's not going to want to go back and forth. Right?

Sure.

But I'm seeing it more of getting older and puberty and girls and friends. Because of him, every holiday I got to go to Virginia or I got to go back to Delaware when I got friends here. I don't even get to spend the summer with my friends here or I don't get to see... Vice versa. So he's going to get to an age where... We're going to have to come back together and say, hey.

And even with the current custody, it might be a lot on him. So, yeah, we did the best we could and gave each other what we thought was best case scenario, but it might be a lot on him to travel with. And he might say, hey, this is a lot of travel. I mean, you've got to come back together and say, hey, this is putting a toll on him.

That's almost impossible. Like, let's be real.

But, like, that's a hypothetical. That's not going to happen.

Not even too, but like Virginia's not going to be forever home. So not only is it impossible for your custody with all the kids you have, why would you follow, you know, you're following me. Why would you do that?

Yeah, yeah. No, I hear you. Yeah. I mean, not having 50-50 with Lincoln is tough and talking with Lincoln about it now, it's like, okay, you know, I asked him, are you okay? How are you feeling? Cause the time is getting closer. And you know, I talked to him and said, listen, nothing's going to change. We're going to do our best.

I'm not going to be able to come every weekend and all your stuff, but I'm going to do my best to, I'm still your dad and, and, you know, figure it out. So not having 50, do you want to talk about what we, how mediation went? How do you think that we went in there? How do you think when you went into mediation went?

Well, I mean, I thought before we went up to mediation, I, for whatever reason, I was taken under the impression that I was going to get the school year. And just based off of, you know, things you were saying, like, oh, summer camp in Virginia, you know, I'll bring Lex. I was like, okay.

Well, I was just like, okay, well, for whatever reason, I was getting under the impression that, okay, maybe she's, you know, things cooled off, she's calm, and I was going to get the school year and you were going to get the summer. So when I went in there... I thought I had a pretty good offer. It was, hey, here are all the dates. And you just weren't budging.

I mean, you were just stone cold. You were just arguing back and forth. I was like, damn, I thought this was a good deal. This is a sweet deal. So then when you weren't budging, I was like, okay, well, it was just, mediation didn't go well. For whatever reason, I thought it was going to go well.

Yeah. At the end, because I had no choice.

Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't know why I got that feeling, man. I just thought there was things you said that I was like, okay, I felt good about it. I was like, okay, maybe we're going to go to mediation and she's going to say, you know, you take the school and I'll take the summer and we'll figure out the holidays in between. Did you even consider it honestly?

Yeah, I mean, we were in a situation where we were just kind of

forced to spend more time than we either one of us thought we were going to i mean i didn't think you know you and your hotel situation ended up being the way it did and then you ended up in the same hotel so we were kind of stuck in the same place so we were gonna you know make the best of it for the kids sake i mean we traveled 10 hours to madrid we're not gonna make it crap yeah i mean i think that was the first time that

Yeah, in a situation like this, it's... Nobody wins. Nobody wins.

It can go both ways as far as, you know, you wanted him to bond with your side, your kids, and then same thing with him. Eli is all he knows, essentially. So Eli is all he knows, essentially. sort of wrap my head around where, hey, you're not going to have him for the school year, right? Now he knows, hey, when's Bubba coming home, stuff like that.

So my take in mediation was I felt like that was your driving force instead of looking at from where I was coming from of just Lincoln, what is the best case scenario for Lincoln with the parent right so i thought i had a strong argument of he needed to be with me taking the kids out of it although it is it is a factor in it right you're going to play it

But the majority of it was which parent is going to, for this first year, be the best to help them adapt, help them transition into whatever we decided. And that's why when I went into mediation and you weren't budging, I was like, well, this sucks. This is not how I thought it was going to go, honestly. And that's why I fell in the corner.

So when I asked you to step out with your attorney or whenever you guys went out, I was crying. Oh, me too.

Yeah, I called Lauren and I said, this is it. I have to take it. If it goes to a judge, I'm going to get half of what I'm getting right now. That's how I felt. I'll get the summer, right? No judge in their right mind is going to give me every holiday.

And I just thought Lincoln getting out of Delaware was just crucial for these middle school years. There's just, you know, I'm excited to grow out of Delaware. I don't know if you love Delaware that much.

But we know different.

Not to cut you off. We know life is better out of Delaware. And so, like, you knew whenever we got married that I was joining the military, and that was always a possibility. I've just been lucky for 12 years that I've been blessed to be able to stay here. Joe knew that when he was there. So that can't fall on me because eventually it's kind of like breaking generational trauma.

Eventually, hey, you understand the career field that I'm in.

But, like, I'm just... And facts of you saying the ripple, like, oh, his mom moved here, his sister moved here, that's their own decisions, right?

No, no, no, but, like, you can't... I'm not blaming you.

That's better sports. I complained to you about sports, where we put them. We've tried. We've gone up and down the state trying to find just a good program, just good coaches. And we're driving an hour up north. That didn't work out. We thought it was bad. We try it here. That's not enough for him. So it was just for me, that was part of my reasoning.

There's nothing in Delaware where he's thriving that he can't get equal to or better, hopefully, in Virginia. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, we definitely got along. I mean, hey, let's make the best of this and let's figure this out. And it worked in Madrid. It worked in Madrid.

How do you feel now? Good. I mean, Lincoln's with you guys half the time, so it was nice to spend some quality time and see who this man is around Lincoln.

It was nice. I mean, it was... It was fine. I mean, like I said, I'm glad everyone was able to... Put all the difference. There's a lot of, there was a lot throughout the years that everyone went through. So it was, I mean, for that trip, it was good that we were all able to just put it behind us and, hey, we're here. Let's cheer on the kids. Let's all go figure this out.

So it was good.

A little mixed, if I'm going to be honest with you.

It's hard, right? Because I thought we were at a place where we were good in Madrid. And then, you know, we come home and, you know, things were said and I had to send you an email the week after. So for us, it was like, damn, we just had this good week. We thought we were turning a leaf. And here we are back to where we knew where we were.

So that's why for me, it's just kind of... I want to make sure that boundary line is not that we've crossed it for years. I think we figured out that boundary line, but I want to make sure the civil, I don't know how to put it into words, the civilness or the us being able to say hello to each other is strictly for Lincoln at that point.

So I don't know how to say it in words, but that's how I feel. It was just like, damn, we were here, come back home and it's back to what we thought it was.

Yeah, I just feel like I always have to have my guard up. For sure. Like in Madrid, okay, we put it down. Hey, let's have a good time. We went to the amusement park together. And hey, if Lex wants to stay, you know, stuff like that. So I feel like when we let our guard down, or me, I'll speak for me specifically. When I let my guard down, it's like, damn, we're here.

And since you brought that up, I don't want to cut you off. So I'm trying to think of my thoughts as you come. So it's like...

in that instance when you're saying what you did it's like you were saying you're trying to say it vaguely so that you didn't think other people would understand it but i know who you're talking about so i know it's me so even if other people don't know what you're talking about i do so for me it's like damn if we're taking steps forward can i make an example so it makes all make sense for example for me i feel like that's a running joke that i hear constantly

from you, from your friends. So I get it. You got a job, and it's funny to you. But for me, that caused a lot of pain between us. It caused a lot of pain in my life, my personal life, with my family. So for me to constantly hear jokes coming from you, I just feel like it's disrespectful for me. I'm thinking we're all, we might not be coming together, but we're level.

So anytime I hear those types of jokes, it's like, damn. You might not specifically be shooting them at me, but it just sparks outside world of this is still funny or Javi still did that years ago when it's like that is behind me for, you know, I made all this work to get it behind me. So stuff like that just frustrates me. So that's why coming here, it's uncomfortable.

2012, December of 2012.

It's just like I took myself out of the TV world for a long time and it just sucks.

Yep.

I do not.

And I got eight years left until my retirement. So I think I've made it far enough where I kind of have to ride it out.

Yeah, co-parent specifically, I think it's been great. I mean, I think it's, I think Madrid, I think it was important, actually, I think it was important you saw the way Lauren was with just the kids in general and then vice versa. It was important for me to see how Elijah was. I mean, I'd never heard him say more than two words prior to Madrid.

So to be in Madrid, no offense, but he's just a quiet guy. So when we're in Madrid and being able to play soccer, I didn't even know he knew how to play sports. Not that he's not athletic, but it was cool to be in that environment where I know Lincoln is okay on the other side. Because it was always, hey, I have to trust whoever you bring into his life that you're making the right decision.

And same thing for me. So to be able to see that firsthand, I think that's where... it was good for everybody to see everyone interacting with other kids. So I think co-parenting-wise is fine. If I need something for Lincoln, hit you up or hit Elijah, and Elijah will bring it, and there's no awkwardness, I don't think. There's no... And vice versa, I don't think you've needed anything from Lauren.

But I'm sure if you did, I don't know, but I'm sure if you did, I'm sure it would be fine.

Yeah, there's people that don't even know I'm still in the military.

Okay.