Jay Shetty

So there's a lot at play here. What we want to do is if you're at the early stages of a relationship, spot this early, both men and women, whoever you are, whichever role you're playing, spot it early. Don't just fall into the trap of, oh, it works for now, let's just see how it goes. And I think if your partner can't see that, you need to see that for yourself. Take responsibility.

So there's a lot at play here. What we want to do is if you're at the early stages of a relationship, spot this early, both men and women, whoever you are, whichever role you're playing, spot it early. Don't just fall into the trap of, oh, it works for now, let's just see how it goes. And I think if your partner can't see that, you need to see that for yourself. Take responsibility.

I think it genuinely comes down to looking back at you taking control, accountability, and power of your life, and what you're gonna do with that time and energy now. Like, you just don't want anything you said to sound like you're blaming that other person and shifting the accountability onto them.

I think it genuinely comes down to looking back at you taking control, accountability, and power of your life, and what you're gonna do with that time and energy now. Like, you just don't want anything you said to sound like you're blaming that other person and shifting the accountability onto them.

Because like you said, it's gonna feel weighty for them, and they're gonna feel like, oh God, I don't wanna take on that weight, I feel too much pressure, now I'm gonna throw it back on you, and that's what we end up doing. So I think it's fine to say, hey, I've been doing this for the last 10 years. It's not who I wanna be anymore.

Because like you said, it's gonna feel weighty for them, and they're gonna feel like, oh God, I don't wanna take on that weight, I feel too much pressure, now I'm gonna throw it back on you, and that's what we end up doing. So I think it's fine to say, hey, I've been doing this for the last 10 years. It's not who I wanna be anymore.

And I understand that that adjustment is gonna make changes for you. I'd love to discuss those changes. And now you're talking about the changes and the edits, not talking about that person and you, rather than saying, oh, you won all the awards you wanted to, where am I?

And I understand that that adjustment is gonna make changes for you. I'd love to discuss those changes. And now you're talking about the changes and the edits, not talking about that person and you, rather than saying, oh, you won all the awards you wanted to, where am I?

When you make it about you and them, all of a sudden, you're not talking about what it's actually about, which is here's how things are gonna change. How is this gonna affect you? What can we do in the middle period to make the transition more effective? It's change management, not the person management.

When you make it about you and them, all of a sudden, you're not talking about what it's actually about, which is here's how things are gonna change. How is this gonna affect you? What can we do in the middle period to make the transition more effective? It's change management, not the person management.

And I think the challenge is we make it about that person and what they should have done, what they could have done, the time we've lost, the energy we've invested, what we didn't get out of it. And I get it, that is the emotional layer that needs to be explored. But that's not going to keep that person in your life in a healthy way. It's going to create friction.

And I think the challenge is we make it about that person and what they should have done, what they could have done, the time we've lost, the energy we've invested, what we didn't get out of it. And I get it, that is the emotional layer that needs to be explored. But that's not going to keep that person in your life in a healthy way. It's going to create friction.

And sadly, we don't have many good examples of people who've been through that transition because people turn it into a blame game.

And sadly, we don't have many good examples of people who've been through that transition because people turn it into a blame game.

I've seen his stuff on Instagram. Oh my God, he's so good.

I've seen his stuff on Instagram. Oh my God, he's so good.

I always say to people, use us and we, not you and me. So I've had couples that I've worked with write out what they want to say, and all of it is filled with you and me. You didn't do this. It made me feel like this. You always do this. You never think about me. So it's you and me, you and me, you and me. And I've asked them to change every you and me to us and we. Why? Because now we're a team.

I always say to people, use us and we, not you and me. So I've had couples that I've worked with write out what they want to say, and all of it is filled with you and me. You didn't do this. It made me feel like this. You always do this. You never think about me. So it's you and me, you and me, you and me. And I've asked them to change every you and me to us and we. Why? Because now we're a team.

If I say... Let's think about how we can get to where we want to be. Let's think about us at the center of this conversation. Let's think about how to protect us Now I'm not saying you need to be thinking about how to protect me. You should be thinking about how to make me happy. Well, then we're not a team anymore.

If I say... Let's think about how we can get to where we want to be. Let's think about us at the center of this conversation. Let's think about how to protect us Now I'm not saying you need to be thinking about how to protect me. You should be thinking about how to make me happy. Well, then we're not a team anymore.