Jay Shetty

Watch how their face opens up.

By the way, I was going to an event the other night, bumped into someone in the elevator and...

We started talking and my first question to them is like, hey, have you been to this event before?

And they were like, yeah, yeah, I've been here.

I've been to this location.

I was like, do you know where we're going?

They were like, I know exactly where we're going.

I was like, great, you're going to save me so much time and energy.

Had a great conversation.

I didn't compliment them.

I didn't flatter them in that interaction to start a conversation.

I thanked them afterwards, of course.

But we were able to give each other something much more valuable, a reason to be in this conversation.

Dr. Adam Grant's research at Wharton on the psychology of giving shows that people experience measurable increases in well-being, self-efficacy and social bonding when they're in a position to help someone.

Asking for a small recommendation, a small opinion or a small piece of guidance activates what Grant calls the helper's high, a neurochemical reward for being useful.

So stop trying to impress people.

Give them a small role.

Ask for their recommendation.

Ask for their opinion.

Ask for their help.