Jay

This seemed to be going well.

Fuck me though, out of the corner of my eye, a fair dinkum saw what looked like a premium top fuel dragster as blasted out the back of the vacuum cleaner with flames as big as anything I'd seen trying to launch any of those dickhead Bezos or Musk or Bransons into space.

So now I had a smoker still on fire, a vacuum cleaner looking like it was about to launch for the fucking moon.

And on the ground around me, I was surrounded by the burning embers of the blown out pellets that now look like an Anthony fucking Robbins fire walk.

At this stage, the smoker was no longer on fire as the blower and vacuum cleaner had done their jobs and removed the pellets from the smoker.

Success.

At this point, the adrenaline was leaving my body and I started to feel pain on the bottoms of my feet.

Yes, that's right, I was in bare feet and I'd been stomping around all over the Anthony fucking Robbins firewalk and it burnt the bottoms of my feet to go along with my now hairless arms, no eyelashes or eyebrows.

Fuck me, it hurt.

I still had to get that smoker going and get the meat back in as well.

Pleasingly, everything worked as expected and the barbecue turned out to be sensational and the Texan friends left knowing that you can get good Texas barbecue outside Texas.

I couldn't walk properly for a week and had to answer to a bazillion questions as to why I'd removed all the visible hair on my body, but in the end it was worth it.

Other than that, sweet as gaudy from Australia.

That's great stuff.

Well done, mate.

Elite level stuff.

That is a classic yarn.

Fuck yeah.

That's us done and dusted for the week.

Bye weekend.