Jay

It's resignation. Yeah, it's total resignation. It's like surrendering to the abyss.

It's resignation. Yeah, it's total resignation. It's like surrendering to the abyss.

It's resignation. Yeah, it's total resignation. It's like surrendering to the abyss.

It's not, it's not bigger in the good way. It's, it's, it's not bigger like God, the creator of the universe. It's bigger like a dragon's running at you and you're just like, well, nice knowing you guys. What am I going to do? Right? Like it's that kind of resignation. Right.

It's not, it's not bigger in the good way. It's, it's, it's not bigger like God, the creator of the universe. It's bigger like a dragon's running at you and you're just like, well, nice knowing you guys. What am I going to do? Right? Like it's that kind of resignation. Right.

It's not, it's not bigger in the good way. It's, it's, it's not bigger like God, the creator of the universe. It's bigger like a dragon's running at you and you're just like, well, nice knowing you guys. What am I going to do? Right? Like it's that kind of resignation. Right.

But it is it is there is a beauty to it insofar as it's it loses some of the mystique and it loses the power to make me suffer the way that it did. And that's really that's quite nice. Day seven. End of day. End of week. Diary. Today, there was no money spent. Usual evening calculus of whether to use the heat pump or the oil. It's fucking so exhausting.

But it is it is there is a beauty to it insofar as it's it loses some of the mystique and it loses the power to make me suffer the way that it did. And that's really that's quite nice. Day seven. End of day. End of week. Diary. Today, there was no money spent. Usual evening calculus of whether to use the heat pump or the oil. It's fucking so exhausting.

But it is it is there is a beauty to it insofar as it's it loses some of the mystique and it loses the power to make me suffer the way that it did. And that's really that's quite nice. Day seven. End of day. End of week. Diary. Today, there was no money spent. Usual evening calculus of whether to use the heat pump or the oil. It's fucking so exhausting.

What I'm realizing as I talk through this is that... As I go through these negotiations with my wife and like trying to deal with all these things, it is my own anxiety about money that comes to the fore, right? Like I literally agonize about a lot when it comes to this. I'll negotiate with my wife about five degrees. I mean, I'll negotiate with her about one degree of temperature change.

What I'm realizing as I talk through this is that... As I go through these negotiations with my wife and like trying to deal with all these things, it is my own anxiety about money that comes to the fore, right? Like I literally agonize about a lot when it comes to this. I'll negotiate with my wife about five degrees. I mean, I'll negotiate with her about one degree of temperature change.

What I'm realizing as I talk through this is that... As I go through these negotiations with my wife and like trying to deal with all these things, it is my own anxiety about money that comes to the fore, right? Like I literally agonize about a lot when it comes to this. I'll negotiate with my wife about five degrees. I mean, I'll negotiate with her about one degree of temperature change.

in the house on a cold night, right? Because I know that it's just going to cost a lot of extra money. And now that I have kids and I'm talking through this, like, I don't want that for my kids, right? I don't want them to have that burden. Like, this is the stuff that I'll deal with, obviously, because it's really hardwired into me. It's very difficult for me not to worry about money.

in the house on a cold night, right? Because I know that it's just going to cost a lot of extra money. And now that I have kids and I'm talking through this, like, I don't want that for my kids, right? I don't want them to have that burden. Like, this is the stuff that I'll deal with, obviously, because it's really hardwired into me. It's very difficult for me not to worry about money.

in the house on a cold night, right? Because I know that it's just going to cost a lot of extra money. And now that I have kids and I'm talking through this, like, I don't want that for my kids, right? I don't want them to have that burden. Like, this is the stuff that I'll deal with, obviously, because it's really hardwired into me. It's very difficult for me not to worry about money.

It's hard to convey how hard this is for me not to worry about it. It's always on my mind. And I don't want that for them.

It's hard to convey how hard this is for me not to worry about it. It's always on my mind. And I don't want that for them.

It's hard to convey how hard this is for me not to worry about it. It's always on my mind. And I don't want that for them.

My ideal, I think, would be as he gets, as he and she, I keep forgetting there's another one, as they get older, I do want them to learn just a little bit of financial responsibility. Chores, I think is fine, right? Like chores, you earn money, you can spend this money on what you want. As they get much older, teenage years, stuff like that, I think in addition to financial literacy, right?

My ideal, I think, would be as he gets, as he and she, I keep forgetting there's another one, as they get older, I do want them to learn just a little bit of financial responsibility. Chores, I think is fine, right? Like chores, you earn money, you can spend this money on what you want. As they get much older, teenage years, stuff like that, I think in addition to financial literacy, right?