Jeannie McKay

He would control people with absolute sarcasm. And it turned out, sadly, it turns out that he was controlling my brother that way too, to try and prevent him from telling anybody. And I didn't really learn much about this until recently.

He would control people with absolute sarcasm. And it turned out, sadly, it turns out that he was controlling my brother that way too, to try and prevent him from telling anybody. And I didn't really learn much about this until recently.

It's creepy. It's really creepy. Yeah. I had a circle of people that I hung with that I was friends with. But I didn't have a bosom buddy by any stretch. Didn't have a boyfriend. Didn't have those kinds of relationships that... That would have maybe made it harder for him to get to me because we would have talked about it and maybe a parent would have found out.

It's creepy. It's really creepy. Yeah. I had a circle of people that I hung with that I was friends with. But I didn't have a bosom buddy by any stretch. Didn't have a boyfriend. Didn't have those kinds of relationships that... That would have maybe made it harder for him to get to me because we would have talked about it and maybe a parent would have found out.

I remember at one point him saying something about, oh, so-and-so is on the pill. You could ask her about where you could go for that. Yeah. And so how would he know that if he hasn't already been working with her? And yeah.

I remember at one point him saying something about, oh, so-and-so is on the pill. You could ask her about where you could go for that. Yeah. And so how would he know that if he hasn't already been working with her? And yeah.

I wasn't ashamed in high school. I was secret. I felt great because I was in the in crowd and I was doing cool things, really cool things. Like there were amazing musical experiences and times and trips and joy and happiness and laughs.

I wasn't ashamed in high school. I was secret. I felt great because I was in the in crowd and I was doing cool things, really cool things. Like there were amazing musical experiences and times and trips and joy and happiness and laughs.

But... The shame didn't really come until shortly after when I started realizing how wrong it was.

But... The shame didn't really come until shortly after when I started realizing how wrong it was.

It really played into my brain when my dad became ill with cancer. Because once we found out that it was terminal, all of a sudden, my youthful understanding of religion became, dad's going to find out. When he dies, he's going to know everything, and I'm going to go to hell. And that began actually a 40-year fear of dying and going to hell because dad would find out.

It really played into my brain when my dad became ill with cancer. Because once we found out that it was terminal, all of a sudden, my youthful understanding of religion became, dad's going to find out. When he dies, he's going to know everything, and I'm going to go to hell. And that began actually a 40-year fear of dying and going to hell because dad would find out.

It wasn't even something I unpacked until I started getting professional help a year ago when this all started up again. And I think in the second session I had with her, we were talking about my religious beliefs at the time and how that impacted my day-to-day thoughts.

It wasn't even something I unpacked until I started getting professional help a year ago when this all started up again. And I think in the second session I had with her, we were talking about my religious beliefs at the time and how that impacted my day-to-day thoughts.

squashed it down into my psyche. And at night I would wake up sweating, thinking I was going to die. And I would wake up just in a panic. And the whole death thing was just some of that, you know, PTSD that I never knew about because I never put it together. And look at Anne-Marie. She's always felt sad that someone came after her because she felt like she hadn't done enough.

squashed it down into my psyche. And at night I would wake up sweating, thinking I was going to die. And I would wake up just in a panic. And the whole death thing was just some of that, you know, PTSD that I never knew about because I never put it together. And look at Anne-Marie. She's always felt sad that someone came after her because she felt like she hadn't done enough.

And that's heartbreaking because that's not her shame. That's not her guilt. It's all his.

And that's heartbreaking because that's not her shame. That's not her guilt. It's all his.

I felt validated because my story wasn't, I wasn't alone in the world anymore.

I felt validated because my story wasn't, I wasn't alone in the world anymore.