Jeff English

When does this thing, there was a utility to, when is it enough? And I always fall back on, it's not typically the thing that's bad. It's not the fact that I can do it. It's the fact that I can't not do it. It seems like I can't not do it. That's where that takes me with the utility.

When does this thing, there was a utility to, when is it enough? And I always fall back on, it's not typically the thing that's bad. It's not the fact that I can do it. It's the fact that I can't not do it. It seems like I can't not do it. That's where that takes me with the utility.

And when you mentioned the big T and the little t or those thousand paper cuts, it brings up post-traumatic stress and complex post-traumatic stress. And in no way do I want to minimize what we or a lot of us would describe as big T traumas, when we talk about those tragic events, those one-time events.

And when you mentioned the big T and the little t or those thousand paper cuts, it brings up post-traumatic stress and complex post-traumatic stress. And in no way do I want to minimize what we or a lot of us would describe as big T traumas, when we talk about those tragic events, those one-time events.

But in the spirit of unraveling things and the healing journey and integration, as a clinician, I would prefer, not that this human had to go through that, but as far as there's that thing, there's the thing we need to work on.

But in the spirit of unraveling things and the healing journey and integration, as a clinician, I would prefer, not that this human had to go through that, but as far as there's that thing, there's the thing we need to work on.

I know there's several interventions that have been very successful working on that thing versus this other thing that, again, going back to the example of the child with neglect. And every single day going to school, knowing for three years that he was going to be bullied and knowing that no one was noticing. And so having to develop something to survive that. living in limbic activation.

I know there's several interventions that have been very successful working on that thing versus this other thing that, again, going back to the example of the child with neglect. And every single day going to school, knowing for three years that he was going to be bullied and knowing that no one was noticing. And so having to develop something to survive that. living in limbic activation.

Just think about that. And so how many times, how many years that muscle memory created of going back to the parts language or of that guard, of that adaptive child, unraveling something like that is a whole nother ballgame. Please don't hear me minimizing big T trauma. But within unraveling and the integration, it's just repetitive. In these limbic systems, we only know what we experience.

Just think about that. And so how many times, how many years that muscle memory created of going back to the parts language or of that guard, of that adaptive child, unraveling something like that is a whole nother ballgame. Please don't hear me minimizing big T trauma. But within unraveling and the integration, it's just repetitive. In these limbic systems, we only know what we experience.

So abject abuse. I've heard horrible stories. You've heard horrible stories. But let's take a child. that knows that when mom gets home because of what's happened, her ear is going to be held to the burner on the stove. Abject abuse. Let's take another child that knows there are portions laid out on their plate that will be eaten in a certain way, in a certain manner, at a certain speed.

So abject abuse. I've heard horrible stories. You've heard horrible stories. But let's take a child. that knows that when mom gets home because of what's happened, her ear is going to be held to the burner on the stove. Abject abuse. Let's take another child that knows there are portions laid out on their plate that will be eaten in a certain way, in a certain manner, at a certain speed.

And after that meal, they will be weighed and their side will be pinched. And should things not be as expected, there will be a lecture. Who's to say which one of those humans are more limbically activated? The one doesn't know the experience of the other. It's helplessness. I can't get out of this thing, this thing I'm getting ready to have to do. So again, how can I survive it?

And after that meal, they will be weighed and their side will be pinched. And should things not be as expected, there will be a lecture. Who's to say which one of those humans are more limbically activated? The one doesn't know the experience of the other. It's helplessness. I can't get out of this thing, this thing I'm getting ready to have to do. So again, how can I survive it?

And how many times does that happen? And how many years does that take place? And then we get frustrated and we have the shame bug that goes along with it because we're back to the what's wrong with me. Why can I not do this thing? I know this thing's not serving me well now, but I just can't not do it. Yeah, the utility of the behavior.

And how many times does that happen? And how many years does that take place? And then we get frustrated and we have the shame bug that goes along with it because we're back to the what's wrong with me. Why can I not do this thing? I know this thing's not serving me well now, but I just can't not do it. Yeah, the utility of the behavior.

Guilt's about making a mistake. Shame's about being a mistake. Guilt. I did something. I made a mistake. I did something that I wish I hadn't have done. I need to make an apology. There's a way back from that. I'm thinking of this classic John Bradshaw. He's talking about healthy shame versus toxic shame. When you talk about a difference between guilt and shame, we're talking about toxic shame.

Guilt's about making a mistake. Shame's about being a mistake. Guilt. I did something. I made a mistake. I did something that I wish I hadn't have done. I need to make an apology. There's a way back from that. I'm thinking of this classic John Bradshaw. He's talking about healthy shame versus toxic shame. When you talk about a difference between guilt and shame, we're talking about toxic shame.

There's something flawed, this flawed defective core, if you will, my identity. There's something wrong with me. There's a way back from the guilt. Shame registers differently. So when we talk about folks being wounded, shame, and that's how the shame gets registered. Somebody once told me that my father never had to get sober because he had me and my mother and my sister to carry a shame for him.

There's something flawed, this flawed defective core, if you will, my identity. There's something wrong with me. There's a way back from the guilt. Shame registers differently. So when we talk about folks being wounded, shame, and that's how the shame gets registered. Somebody once told me that my father never had to get sober because he had me and my mother and my sister to carry a shame for him.