Jeff English

So abuse tends to be the one that we talk really the least about at The Bridge because that's the one that folks tend to know the most about. That's not to mean that we minimize it. There's just so many different forms of abuse. Physical, emotional, abject, emotional.

So abuse tends to be the one that we talk really the least about at The Bridge because that's the one that folks tend to know the most about. That's not to mean that we minimize it. There's just so many different forms of abuse. Physical, emotional, abject, emotional.

social you move over from abuse and you look at something like neglect which can be very tricky so many folks that have experienced neglect it's an eye-opening experience because while something like abuse is something that happened to me neglect is something that failed to happen for me And so to see that through the lens of high stress or pain, so many different ways one can be neglected.

social you move over from abuse and you look at something like neglect which can be very tricky so many folks that have experienced neglect it's an eye-opening experience because while something like abuse is something that happened to me neglect is something that failed to happen for me And so to see that through the lens of high stress or pain, so many different ways one can be neglected.

An example that's used there is the little boy that is going to school and he's being bullied. And he's got these parents who are professionals and they're successful and they're busy and they've got the best of intentions. but they're missing it. They're missing the look on this kid's face when he comes in every day and before he gets on that bus every morning.

An example that's used there is the little boy that is going to school and he's being bullied. And he's got these parents who are professionals and they're successful and they're busy and they've got the best of intentions. but they're missing it. They're missing the look on this kid's face when he comes in every day and before he gets on that bus every morning.

That question's not being asked, what's happening? And so every day, this little person's being required to go to this place where this thing's gonna happen. And evidently these folks at my house don't have time. And it's important to emphasize, I think the word intention, because intention is not required. How many times have I said, have I heard, well, they had the best of intentions.

That question's not being asked, what's happening? And so every day, this little person's being required to go to this place where this thing's gonna happen. And evidently these folks at my house don't have time. And it's important to emphasize, I think the word intention, because intention is not required. How many times have I said, have I heard, well, they had the best of intentions.

It still happened. Or in the case of neglect, it failed to happen. Enmeshment. That's a wounding experience where you've got a boundary violation. So that can happen within the spirit of what we call emotional incest, where a child is put in an age-inappropriate position. Maybe the child becomes... best friend, counselor, and confidant for mom or dad.

It still happened. Or in the case of neglect, it failed to happen. Enmeshment. That's a wounding experience where you've got a boundary violation. So that can happen within the spirit of what we call emotional incest, where a child is put in an age-inappropriate position. Maybe the child becomes... best friend, counselor, and confidant for mom or dad.

And then you've just got this engulfing enmeshment, which happens a lot of times in successful families where outcomes and expectations are celebrated and they're not so much the journey. And so that engulfing enmeshment can Be one of those situations where this is the way to be. More of a me, mini me relationship between a parent and a child instead of that I, thou relationship.

And then you've just got this engulfing enmeshment, which happens a lot of times in successful families where outcomes and expectations are celebrated and they're not so much the journey. And so that engulfing enmeshment can Be one of those situations where this is the way to be. More of a me, mini me relationship between a parent and a child instead of that I, thou relationship.

And in those situations with enmeshment, what typically happens is we either drink the Kool-Aid, get on board with it, or what do we do? We rebel. And I'm not going to do anything that looks anything like this. Neither of those things is probably who I was meant to develop into.

And in those situations with enmeshment, what typically happens is we either drink the Kool-Aid, get on board with it, or what do we do? We rebel. And I'm not going to do anything that looks anything like this. Neither of those things is probably who I was meant to develop into.

I think probably, in my opinion, the umbrella wound, we're talking about the tree, the root of the tree, would be abandonment. And physical desertion or abandonment, that's low-hanging fruit as far as I think the general public and knowledge, yes, when somebody leaves. Permanent abandonment, obviously someone passes away, there's death, there's seasonal, folks leave for work, military deployment.

I think probably, in my opinion, the umbrella wound, we're talking about the tree, the root of the tree, would be abandonment. And physical desertion or abandonment, that's low-hanging fruit as far as I think the general public and knowledge, yes, when somebody leaves. Permanent abandonment, obviously someone passes away, there's death, there's seasonal, folks leave for work, military deployment.

Folks go to prison. Parents get separated. Parents leave and come back. Now, emotional abandonment, that's that situation where someone's there, but they're really not there. And this emotional self gets denied. And a lot of times when you're emotionally abandoned, it can be a situation where it's emotionally cut back, meaning the house I grew up in, we did anger. That's what we did.

Folks go to prison. Parents get separated. Parents leave and come back. Now, emotional abandonment, that's that situation where someone's there, but they're really not there. And this emotional self gets denied. And a lot of times when you're emotionally abandoned, it can be a situation where it's emotionally cut back, meaning the house I grew up in, we did anger. That's what we did.

Wasn't okay to be sad, wasn't okay to be scared, but we did anger. So it wasn't like we were emotion free. It was just we were cut back to that one. That's the one that I saw the most. And then sometimes it's just the situation where it's cut off and it's blank and no emotion. And I mentioned already the tragic event. root of that trauma tree.

Wasn't okay to be sad, wasn't okay to be scared, but we did anger. So it wasn't like we were emotion free. It was just we were cut back to that one. That's the one that I saw the most. And then sometimes it's just the situation where it's cut off and it's blank and no emotion. And I mentioned already the tragic event. root of that trauma tree.