Jeff Hiller

It was more like...

Why can't I get a break?

Why all of these people who are from the same place as me are having success, but I'm not?

Now, I was only comparing myself to the people who had success.

I wasn't comparing the people...

who looked at me and thought I was having success because I was, you know, on law and order that time.

So, but I really kept thinking, it's something I'm doing.

I've done something bad.

You know, I'm too gay or I'm too ugly or I'm too big because I'm very tall.

And so it became, it's funny, it's kind of like that question you asked earlier, did I bully myself?

That's, I think,

That was me bullying myself.

But interestingly, now that I've had this success, I feel a lot of... What's the word?

It's not shame.

It's confusion at why I have other friends who are also incredibly talented, who haven't had the break that I've had recently, and I'm not sure why...

You know, I used to say, why me?

And now I keep thinking, why not them?

And, you know, the truth is, showbiz ain't fair.

It's not a meritocracy.

It was me and like four other UCB people and this pest control company had us dress up like cockroaches and we stood in Union Square and handed out.