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Fresh Air

Jeff Hiller’s Big Break Came In His 40s

01 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What was Jeff Hiller's journey before his big break?

0.031 - 9.703 Unknown

Support for NPR and the following message come from Jarl and Pamela Moan, thanking the people who make public radio great every day and also those who listen.

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10.578 - 31.101 Terry Gross

This is Fresh Air. I'm Terry Gross. We're continuing our series featuring some of our favorite interviews of 2025. I think it's fair to say that everyone who watched the HBO series Somebody Somewhere, including me, wanted actor Jeff Hiller to be their friend. He played Joel, a sympathetic and supportive friend with a great sense of humor.

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31.081 - 55.336 Terry Gross

Somebody Somewhere was the big break Hiller had been hoping for for decades. As he writes in his new memoir, if you're obviously gay but not hot, your roles are limited. You just play the bitchy gay, which is what he played in lots of small parts in episodes of a lot of TV shows and commercials. More recently, he played a serial killer who targets gay men in American Horror Story.

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56.117 - 78.321 Terry Gross

His memoir is called Actress of a Certain Age, My 20-Year Trail to Overnight Success. Somebody Somewhere concluded its third and final season at the end of 2024. Hiller won an Emmy in 2025 for his performance in the show. The story is built around the characters of Sam, played by Bridget Everett, and Joel, Jeff Hiller's character.

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78.761 - 98.5 Terry Gross

When the series begins, Sam had returned from New York to Manhattan, Kansas, where she grew up, to help care for her sister who was dying of cancer. After the sister's death, Sam stays in Kansas where her other sister still lives. Sam has no friends there and has an argumentative relationship with her sister.

98.48 - 122.476 Terry Gross

Sam feels so lost and rejected that she takes offense easily and doesn't realize that in order to avoid rejection, she's pushing people away. But she becomes very close to Joel. He introduces her to his found family of LGBTQ people and artists who secretly have a nighttime cabaret at the church. where Joel is the pianist and has a key. He gets her to sing again.

122.856 - 142.623 Terry Gross

She's a great singer who doesn't think she's any good. In the second episode, when they're becoming friends, she visits his home and sees a large, elaborate collage standing up against the wall in the living room. She asks if it's his dream board, and he corrects her. It's his vision board. Bridget Everett's character Sam speaks first.

144.525 - 151.392 Bridget Everett

You really spent some time on this. We can go to Paris. You got an Eiffel Tower there. Well, just Europe.

Chapter 2: How did 'Somebody Somewhere' change Jeff Hiller's career?

151.493 - 157.059 Bridget Everett

I want to go to Europe. Okay. Oh, and then, of course, everybody's hands and a heart.

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157.74 - 158.22 Jeff Hiller

Community.

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158.801 - 163.006 Bridget Everett

Uh-huh. Great. Was that a blender or something?

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163.847 - 166.389 Jeff Hiller

It's a Vitamix. I just, I really want to have a nice kitchen.

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166.87 - 171.816 Bridget Everett

And, oh, what's this one? Is this you and Michael and your nine adopted kids, or what?

171.836 - 174.979 Jeff Hiller

It's not nine. It's six. Oh. And four of them are adopted, yes.

175.3 - 180.334 Bridget Everett

Okay. And you want to do all of this here in Kansas?

181.957 - 183.278 Jeff Hiller

Yeah, this is where I live.

183.819 - 189.066 Bridget Everett

Oh, family, prayer circles, pots with cactus and .

Chapter 3: What themes are explored in Jeff Hiller's memoir, 'Actress of a Certain Age'?

202.102 - 218.499 Bridget Everett

And it hasn't happened yet, has it? It hasn't happened for you. It hasn't happened for me. And that's because it's not going to happen. And it's definitely not going to happen here. Keep cutting up your pictures, but that's the way it is.

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222.143 - 223.324 Jeff Hiller

We deserve to be happy.

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226.127 - 232.875 Bridget Everett

I'm not sure. I don't know. You know what?

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240.247 - 251.987 Terry Gross

Jeff Hiller, welcome to Fresh Air. I love the series, and you are so great in it. Thank you so much for being on the show. Congratulations on the Emmy nomination and the memoir.

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253.249 - 255.253 Jeff Hiller

Thank you. Wow, I've got a lot going on.

255.774 - 265.731 Terry Gross

Yes. So since we just heard your character Joel's vision board, let's talk about the similarities between you and Joel, because there are several. You want to point some out?

266.2 - 293.479 Jeff Hiller

Sure. Well, first of all, I make vision boards. Well, I've done it twice. I've done it twice. And before the series even. And on one of them, I did have a Vitamix. And the writers didn't know that. I had a Vitamix on my vision board, and my mom got me one for my birthday. And so it just feels very... I'm very like Joel in that sense.

293.78 - 324.547 Jeff Hiller

And I think I'm also someone who is warm and likes to laugh and is joyful. And as you said in the intro, I've normally played sort of rude customer service representatives. And so it felt like such a joy to play Joel because he did feel a lot more like me rather than putting on a scowl and acting. It felt very... like something I really knew how to do because he was so similar to me.

325.148 - 338.918 Jeff Hiller

But I'm not so similar that I can look at you and say, if you sing at my party, everything will be better in your life. That I don't know how to do, which I feel guilty about because I think sometimes people approach me on the street wanting that.

Chapter 4: How did personal experiences shape Jeff Hiller's character in 'Somebody Somewhere'?

392.585 - 419.501 Jeff Hiller

But I was also never one of those people that's like, you know, why are there kids here? But you're at McDonald's, you know? I'm not one of those people either. I like kids. I love hanging out with them. And I do really have this need to provide safety for someone. And that's the thing that I really miss by not having had kids. But I'm almost 50. My husband doesn't want them.

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420.002 - 431.829 Jeff Hiller

It's not like I can just, you know, toss away the pill and see what happens. So I think that probably is not going to happen. And, you know... Just like Joel, I'm mourning that too.

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433.279 - 435.072 Terry Gross

How did somebody somewhere change your life?

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436.756 - 469.261 Jeff Hiller

Well, on just the most base level, I don't have to teach improv or temp or cater-waiter. I mean, I'm financially stable now where I wasn't before. And then it also just made me feel like an artist. I know that's sort of a heavy thing to say, but I do feel like I'm someone who... I had more to give than I was able to give previously. And I feel like Joel let me show that.

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470.243 - 489.188 Jeff Hiller

And then also it's just, you know, people in Hollywood know who I am now. Whereas before, nobody knew who I was. Maybe a couple of casting directors, but not me. Fancy people, not the president of HBO, surely. And now people know who I am. And that's not nothing.

491.493 - 514.952 Terry Gross

So I mentioned this quote in my introduction, but I'm going to mention it again. You're right. If you're gay but not hot, you play the bitchy gay. So to prove that... We're going to play just a few clips of you in very small parts. Okay, so we'll start with 30 Rock. This is an episode in which you're a flight attendant on a plane.

515.353 - 531.394 Terry Gross

All the passengers have been sitting on the plane waiting to take off for like a really long time. So you're the flight attendant trying to distract them by telling them that they can watch videos because they can't use the bathroom and they can't eat. There's no food being served. So here you are.

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Excuse me. While we're waiting to take off, we're going to go ahead and begin our in-flight entertainment, which is the feature film Legend of the Guardians, The Owls of Gahool, and some NBC sitcoms that didn't make the schedule.

548.898 - 560.672 Terry Gross

OK, so that's funny and very well written and a very small part. We'll move on to Law and Order Criminal Intent Season 10. You're part of an investigation and you're going through stolen documents.

Chapter 5: What challenges did Jeff Hiller face in Hollywood before his success?

618.825 - 619.726 Unknown

Get out. Go.

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619.766 - 633.792 Terry Gross

Okay. So, point proven. It must have been so frustrating for so many years to have like fun parts, but really tiny ones like that.

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635.105 - 658.108 Jeff Hiller

Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like when I got the job playing that I was like, oh, no, not another one of these. Because the jobs were so few and far between that that was a thrill. And if anything, it was like, oh, good, I have a niche. And sometimes I can play kind of mean people and I'll get those jobs. I have a friend and she's like, yeah, this Karen thing is good for me. I can play a Karen well.

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659.641 - 688.116 Jeff Hiller

And I really identified with that. But it was more during those long periods in between these small jobs when I would think, I know... I have more to give. I know I could be someone who could explore rich text and understand people's personalities and convey that. And it wasn't especially frustrating when I would get these tiny roles.

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688.236 - 716.839 Jeff Hiller

It was frustrating that I just in between when I would not get anything bigger. Because Honestly, being the guy who enhances the photo on Law & Order was a huge win. Huge. But I did know I had more to give. And when I turned 40... And I had never played anything like that. I did sort of think, I'll never get to play anything like that.

717.159 - 732.747 Jeff Hiller

And you feel a little powerless when you're an actor because you can't really make your own things happen. And that's why I started writing my own shows and doing stand-up. And that's why I love improv so much is because I could control that. I could...

732.727 - 763.164 Jeff Hiller

make a show happen, but I did want to act in a way that was deeper, and I'm so grateful to Bridget and HBO and all those people that made that show happen that I got to do that because it was... And even if we had only shot the pilot, it was just it felt so good to be able to capital A act. And I loved it.

764.286 - 772.159 Terry Gross

Before we get to how when you were in school, you were bullied all the time and how horrible it was. Nice tease.

774.102 - 774.182 Jeff Hiller

Yes.

Chapter 6: How does Jeff Hiller feel about the roles he played before his breakthrough?

774.202 - 775.204 Jeff Hiller

Stick around, everyone.

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777.175 - 781.701 Terry Gross

So let's get to the bullied part. Oh, yes.

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781.721 - 783.303 Jeff Hiller

The big payoff for the audience.

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784.745 - 796.522 Terry Gross

So in real life, when you were growing up, it sounds like you didn't have friends in school. You were bullied in junior high when the bullying was at its worst, and the bathroom and the gym showers were like torture chambers for you.

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Chapter 7: What reflections does Jeff Hiller have on his mother's influence in his life?

797.924 - 806.035 Terry Gross

Were you bullying yourself for being gay? Were you picking on yourself, taking your cue from everybody else who was picking on you?

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807.213 - 838.829 Jeff Hiller

Yeah, sure. I definitely did not. I was going to say I didn't love myself, but I didn't even like myself. I did kind of think I deserved it because... Deserved to be bullied? Yeah, yeah. And deserved to be hated because I did sort of... think I was bad, inherently bad, because I was gay and because I was, you know, girlish and chubby and, you know, not attractive in the conventional sense.

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839.69 - 845.841 Jeff Hiller

Yeah, I did pick on myself quite a bit. But I have to tell you, I didn't do it nearly as badly as some of the other kids.

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Chapter 8: What insights does Jeff Hiller share about his health issues?

847.243 - 848.085 Terry Gross

They really went for it.

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848.926 - 850.028 Jeff Hiller

I got the gold medal there.

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852.59 - 874.255 Terry Gross

For you, during those years when you were bullied, church was a safe place, and you were very active in it. You went nearly every day. There was youth group and Sunday school, after-school tutoring, handbell choir, senior choir, children's choir, where you were the teen assistant. So it was the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. Describe the foundation of the church.

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875.316 - 908.017 Jeff Hiller

You hear the word evangelical, and it sounds pretty right-wing, but the ELCA is actually the... slightly more progressive arm of the Lutheran Church. There are different factions. And so when I was growing up, that church was really a lot about Social justice and being called by God to help people. Not because we are required to help people in order to get into heaven or whatever.

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908.057 - 934.302 Jeff Hiller

We have grace for that. But because we are given this wonderful gift of life from God. And it's important to help other people. And so for me, the church was the place that you went if you didn't have food, if you didn't have money to pay your rent, if you didn't have, you know, we had clothing drives and we always sort of had families through this organization that we would.

934.282 - 958.929 Jeff Hiller

help provide with housing and with, you know, just whatever, toiletries, things like that. A lot of people feel the church is a place that is oppressive and othering people. And there are a lot of churches like that, and they've sort of co-opted the narrative. But for me, the church was a place where you could be accepted and where you could be loved.

959.85 - 965.705 Jeff Hiller

And it wasn't until I came out that I kind of realized that They weren't really into gay people yet.

966.586 - 971.09 Terry Gross

But they probably knew you were gay just as the students in your schools knew you were gay.

971.11 - 995.596 Jeff Hiller

Yeah, no one was ever surprised when I came out. But I didn't realize you couldn't be a pastor and be gay. And that has since changed. The church now does allow openly queer pastors. But at the time, you had to be celibate, whereas straight pastors could marry and have kids and things like that. And so for me, it was like a surprise that the church was oppressive.

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