Jeff Ross
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
That's the better question. Yeah, I think it would be a good use of my time. I really want you to write a Hallmark movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
Wait, you're playing a rugged guy? You're playing the rugged archetype?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
No, I'm not. Look. I think you're an academic. You're teaching at a university and you're like a frazzled professor. I think that's more your scene.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
And you don't need CGI. Stop being mean to yourself.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I met him right before he blew up. I went and had ice cream with him. We went to ice cream after.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
He was cool. I mean, he was like a young kid. I mean, you know, he was he was he at that point had already been an inner was interstellar. The one with Matthew McConaughey.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
He was in that movie already. But he had a small part in it. And, you know, I think everyone was like, you're going to you're going to do great.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I did. I was like, I don't know. Comedy seems like it would be a better fit for you than drama.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
Yeah, I think we all do. I think all five of us have something.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
Yeah, I have. It's coming out in a tell-all. You already wrote it. The real Conan O'Brien.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I think I started writing it thinking it would be a takedown of you, but it was really just an indictment on me and how bad I was as your assistant. But being your assistant, I will say there's a difference you can see between people who will dismiss you and people who actually talk to you. I got that a lot. And it makes a really big difference. Yeah. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
It's like assistants like people can sometimes just be very rude to assistants because they're trying to get to you. And there's a lot of people who I had a really actually talk to you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
But please, let's talk more about your progressive lenses.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
You thought it was a secret because everybody knew you were there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
Staff review, staff review. I like the idea of no glasses.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I have a few notes. No, we can feed you a few notes. You don't have notes?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
It has to be liberal arts. It has to be. No, it doesn't have to.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I've seen, you guys think this is a game for me. This is real life.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
No, she wants to go teach at a big city like Ivy League University. And you're like, this is my home. This is where I love teaching.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
Then you're like, okay, I need to go find myself. So you go on this white water rafting trip, which is so outside of your comfort zone.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I know. I know. That's why I ask myself every single day, why do I even do this?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
They were all actors. It's fake. It's fake. The whole thing is fake.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
No. It's not. He has another person. She calls the guy or girl and she'll be like, hey, you've been selected to send a free bouquet of roses to anybody you want. Who do you want to send them to?