Jeff Ross

My bar mitzvah was like something between a Super Bowl halftime show and like something Saddam Hussein would throw for one of his kids.

Snoop, love you, man, so much.

The only person that's inhaled more smoke than Snoop is Pete Davidson's dad inside the World Trade Center.

Thanks, Pete.

Tom, I really wanted you to be our first goat to be roasted because you're an example to future generations that if you work hard, eat right, film the other team's practices...

deflate the balls and have the NFL make new rules just for you, then you too can be the third most famous guy in a Dunkin' Donuts commercial.

Terry, thank you.

Yeah.

I so enjoyed hearing you ramp this up.

I can't even tell you.

What a full circle moment for me.

This is my record-breaking third time on.

I don't know how many comics have had this privilege, so I'm thrilled.

My health is 100%.

Thank you for asking.

I just had my chemo port removed.

So it's really important for people to know that I'm doing okay.

I'm doing better than okay.

And don't worry about me, at least right now.

I feel very fortunate.