Jefferson Fisher

What we do is more about giving facts a voice than it is about winning an argument. Competition in communication has convinced society that the world is divided into right and wrong, winners and losers. After a political debate, the first question someone asks the next morning is always, who won? But if we go back in time to the ancient Greeks, discourse had nothing to do with winning.

A debate over opposing issues was a vehicle for pursuing truth. Exposing the weakness in another person's argument was to strengthen and refine it, not dismiss it. Debates were known to last for days, even weeks, to give each other time to obtain perspective and explore divisive issues. Today, the tendency is to do just the opposite.

A debate over opposing issues was a vehicle for pursuing truth. Exposing the weakness in another person's argument was to strengthen and refine it, not dismiss it. Debates were known to last for days, even weeks, to give each other time to obtain perspective and explore divisive issues. Today, the tendency is to do just the opposite.

A debate over opposing issues was a vehicle for pursuing truth. Exposing the weakness in another person's argument was to strengthen and refine it, not dismiss it. Debates were known to last for days, even weeks, to give each other time to obtain perspective and explore divisive issues. Today, the tendency is to do just the opposite.

Rather than allowing disagreement to open you up to learning from another person's perspective, you shut it down. Instead of refining your own understanding, you treat it as a threat. We run to social media like it's our personal megaphone to voice just how much we disagree. Now, be honest with me. How many times has a social media post disparaging your point of view ever changed your mind?

Rather than allowing disagreement to open you up to learning from another person's perspective, you shut it down. Instead of refining your own understanding, you treat it as a threat. We run to social media like it's our personal megaphone to voice just how much we disagree. Now, be honest with me. How many times has a social media post disparaging your point of view ever changed your mind?

Rather than allowing disagreement to open you up to learning from another person's perspective, you shut it down. Instead of refining your own understanding, you treat it as a threat. We run to social media like it's our personal megaphone to voice just how much we disagree. Now, be honest with me. How many times has a social media post disparaging your point of view ever changed your mind?

And how many times has something you posted that criticized someone else's opinion ever changed theirs? Never. The world turns, the news cycle moves on, and the next day, no one cares. So what then? What did you prove? The fastest way to lose your peace of mind is to give someone a piece of yours. Beating out someone in an argument may feed your ego, but it'll still leave you hungry.

And how many times has something you posted that criticized someone else's opinion ever changed theirs? Never. The world turns, the news cycle moves on, and the next day, no one cares. So what then? What did you prove? The fastest way to lose your peace of mind is to give someone a piece of yours. Beating out someone in an argument may feed your ego, but it'll still leave you hungry.

And how many times has something you posted that criticized someone else's opinion ever changed theirs? Never. The world turns, the news cycle moves on, and the next day, no one cares. So what then? What did you prove? The fastest way to lose your peace of mind is to give someone a piece of yours. Beating out someone in an argument may feed your ego, but it'll still leave you hungry.

Rarely, if ever, does winning in communication lead to better things in your life. That's why I care enough about you to tell you the truth. Never win an argument. Whether it's an argument, a heated discussion, or a slight friction in conversation, your goal isn't to win. It's to unravel. Start at the loose ends until you understand the heart of it. There, you'll find the knot.

Rarely, if ever, does winning in communication lead to better things in your life. That's why I care enough about you to tell you the truth. Never win an argument. Whether it's an argument, a heated discussion, or a slight friction in conversation, your goal isn't to win. It's to unravel. Start at the loose ends until you understand the heart of it. There, you'll find the knot.

Rarely, if ever, does winning in communication lead to better things in your life. That's why I care enough about you to tell you the truth. Never win an argument. Whether it's an argument, a heated discussion, or a slight friction in conversation, your goal isn't to win. It's to unravel. Start at the loose ends until you understand the heart of it. There, you'll find the knot.

This is a book of knots. The hard stuff and social relationships that, admit it, you'd rather skip over. Untying cross wires takes time, takes emotion, takes effort. That's what conflict and communication represents, a struggle. An argument is a window into another person's struggle. In every difficult conversation, there's a moment when someone, whether it's you or the other person, hits a snag.

This is a book of knots. The hard stuff and social relationships that, admit it, you'd rather skip over. Untying cross wires takes time, takes emotion, takes effort. That's what conflict and communication represents, a struggle. An argument is a window into another person's struggle. In every difficult conversation, there's a moment when someone, whether it's you or the other person, hits a snag.

This is a book of knots. The hard stuff and social relationships that, admit it, you'd rather skip over. Untying cross wires takes time, takes emotion, takes effort. That's what conflict and communication represents, a struggle. An argument is a window into another person's struggle. In every difficult conversation, there's a moment when someone, whether it's you or the other person, hits a snag.

Maybe you don't understand what they're trying to say. Maybe you're in a bad mood. Maybe you just disagree. It's not the clash of opinions. It's the clash of worlds, of the very way you see things. Behind every harsh and uncut word, there's a backstory, a why.

Maybe you don't understand what they're trying to say. Maybe you're in a bad mood. Maybe you just disagree. It's not the clash of opinions. It's the clash of worlds, of the very way you see things. Behind every harsh and uncut word, there's a backstory, a why.

Maybe you don't understand what they're trying to say. Maybe you're in a bad mood. Maybe you just disagree. It's not the clash of opinions. It's the clash of worlds, of the very way you see things. Behind every harsh and uncut word, there's a backstory, a why.

And if you can find the discipline to get to that, if you can peel back the layers of the argument to discern the struggle, the fear, or the hope hiding underneath, that's where real communication begins. Because at the end of the day, it's not about the argument.