Jefferson Fisher

to use what I deep dive in the book as frames, conversational frames, meaning you are pinpointing exactly the issue that needs to be spoken of, and you are naming the goal of the conversation before you even begin.

because it's often that we get it backwards.

So this is what a frame could sound like for you with this person that might be giving you some issues.

So you're going to start with number one, telling them what you need to talk to them about.

Hey, I'd like to talk with you about some comments you made at last week's meeting.

Two, you tell them how you want to end the conversation.

I like to begin with, I want to walk away with.

That's a phrasing I like to use.

Hey, I'd like to walk away with X, Y, and Z. So it might be, one, I'd like to talk with you about some comments you made at last meeting.

week's meeting, and I want to walk away with the understanding that that's not going to happen again.

I want to walk away with trusting that you know that's not going to be putting us in a good position.

I want to walk away with X, Y, and Z. There needs to be something you are bringing away, taking away from that conversation.

And three, you get their buy-in into the conversation.

It's where you say, does that sound good?

Does that work?

Can we do that?

And they're not.

And that allows you to continue the conversation knowing exactly how you want to frame it up.

So if you and this other person, you feel like y'all are on ice or it's rocky, get really good, Daylon, on speaking that out loud.

So don't let these moments of hidden tension where it's like unvoiced, go unvoiced.