Jefferson Fisher

Absolutes.

You know what it's like when you're in conversation with people.

or let's, better yet, an argument with somebody, probably somebody you're very close with, might be married to, might be in a relationship with, and they use this word right here, always.

Usually there's something that comes right before it, and it's the word you.

They say, you always, you never,

They're generally not positive statements, if I had to guess.

The only time you hear those is in some kind of negative conversation, meaning the other person's using these words with a downward, mad, angry, frustrated, disappointed expression on their face.

You never listen to me.

You always say this.

You never care.

And it should just send sirens off in your brain.

That is one of the number one mistakes that I see communicators make if they're trying to actually have productive, efficient, successful communication.

is they use the absolutes, the extremes, when in reality, we both know that's not true.

And really, the other person knows it's not true.

They know it too.

It just feels better to say it, right?

It feels better to use the absolutes.

Let's play it out for a second.

Let's say you and I are in a conversation and I'm in an argument with you and I say,

It is just like, you always say this.