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Jefferson Fisher

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
See mentions of this person in podcasts
7393 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

When you can say something to the tune of others and people have used this tactic many times. This is what this is how you do it. So let's break it down. somebody says something that's narcissistic, or a narcissist is talking to you and they say something, you respond like this.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

If you think that's a good look, or if you think others are going to like that, or I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what your friend would think about this. You name that friend. I'm not sure if others would agree. Anytime that you talk about others or people,

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

If you think that's a good look, or if you think others are going to like that, or I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what your friend would think about this. You name that friend. I'm not sure if others would agree. Anytime that you talk about others or people,

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

If you think that's a good look, or if you think others are going to like that, or I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what your friend would think about this. You name that friend. I'm not sure if others would agree. Anytime that you talk about others or people,

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

I have seen many, many times they will change their behavior almost instantly because it reminds them they're not talking to you. They're talking to the crowd, their people, and they will adjust their opinion, adjust their tone to fit the audience, even if it's invisible. In fact, especially when it's invisible. You just think all eyes are on them.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

I have seen many, many times they will change their behavior almost instantly because it reminds them they're not talking to you. They're talking to the crowd, their people, and they will adjust their opinion, adjust their tone to fit the audience, even if it's invisible. In fact, especially when it's invisible. You just think all eyes are on them.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

I have seen many, many times they will change their behavior almost instantly because it reminds them they're not talking to you. They're talking to the crowd, their people, and they will adjust their opinion, adjust their tone to fit the audience, even if it's invisible. In fact, especially when it's invisible. You just think all eyes are on them.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

Anytime you can use the phrase, well, if you think others are going to agree with you, see, it's very simple to say. Hey, look, if you think others are going to agree with you, or if you, I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what other people would think about the way you just said that. They will turn. They will turn it. They will make it better.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

Anytime you can use the phrase, well, if you think others are going to agree with you, see, it's very simple to say. Hey, look, if you think others are going to agree with you, or if you, I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what other people would think about the way you just said that. They will turn. They will turn it. They will make it better.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

Anytime you can use the phrase, well, if you think others are going to agree with you, see, it's very simple to say. Hey, look, if you think others are going to agree with you, or if you, I wonder what other people would think about this. I wonder what other people would think about the way you just said that. They will turn. They will turn it. They will make it better.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

They will make it sound better. They will make it sound more empathetic, make it sound more sensitive or sympathetic without actually exhibiting any of the real character traits. So when you talk about others, the takeaway here is when you talk about others, they will pay more attention to what they are saying and give a more productive output than when they think they're just talking to you.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

They will make it sound better. They will make it sound more empathetic, make it sound more sensitive or sympathetic without actually exhibiting any of the real character traits. So when you talk about others, the takeaway here is when you talk about others, they will pay more attention to what they are saying and give a more productive output than when they think they're just talking to you.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

They will make it sound better. They will make it sound more empathetic, make it sound more sensitive or sympathetic without actually exhibiting any of the real character traits. So when you talk about others, the takeaway here is when you talk about others, they will pay more attention to what they are saying and give a more productive output than when they think they're just talking to you.

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

That's the takeaway. Narcissistic behaviors are not fun to deal with, but they're everywhere. And sometimes, you know what? Every single one of us can exhibit a behavior that some might call narcissistic. We can make things about us. We can say things we don't mean. The difference, the difference is the empathy. If I can take accountability for what I said, if I can apologize for

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

That's the takeaway. Narcissistic behaviors are not fun to deal with, but they're everywhere. And sometimes, you know what? Every single one of us can exhibit a behavior that some might call narcissistic. We can make things about us. We can say things we don't mean. The difference, the difference is the empathy. If I can take accountability for what I said, if I can apologize for

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

That's the takeaway. Narcissistic behaviors are not fun to deal with, but they're everywhere. And sometimes, you know what? Every single one of us can exhibit a behavior that some might call narcissistic. We can make things about us. We can say things we don't mean. The difference, the difference is the empathy. If I can take accountability for what I said, if I can apologize for

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

if I can apologize, genuinely mean it, change my character, if I can empathize with what I said and I understand, if I can just say, you know what, I can see how that affected you. I can see. Use the phrase, I can see. I can see how that would upset you. And really mean it. Narcissistic people can do that. All right?

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

if I can apologize, genuinely mean it, change my character, if I can empathize with what I said and I understand, if I can just say, you know what, I can see how that affected you. I can see. Use the phrase, I can see. I can see how that would upset you. And really mean it. Narcissistic people can do that. All right?

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

if I can apologize, genuinely mean it, change my character, if I can empathize with what I said and I understand, if I can just say, you know what, I can see how that affected you. I can see. Use the phrase, I can see. I can see how that would upset you. And really mean it. Narcissistic people can do that. All right?

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap

So if you're wondering, I'm saying that to tell you, if you're sitting there thinking, am I the narcissist? If you are asking yourself that question, you are not. If you're asking yourself that question, you are not. All right, the takeaway here. Number one, understand when you're talking to a narcissist, you're playing a game. It's praise or provoke.