Jennifer Breheny Wallace

We wanna contribute, we wanna engage and connect.

But when we are chronically made to feel like we don't matter, which is what we are seeing on a global level today, we often withdraw, we become anxious, depressed, turn to substances to try to alleviate that ache, that pain, or we can lash out in anger

Think of road rage.

Think of online attacks and political extremes.

People will go to desperate measures to prove they matter, even in a negative way.

Yes, so mattering is a felt experience.

So you could matter and not feel like you matter.

And so as you point out, it is critical that we really create this new social norm

where we connect people to the impact that they have.

So the reason people often feel like they don't matter is because no one tells them that they do.

No one sort of circles back.

They offer advice to someone, but they don't know if that advice was taken.

They believe they might even be going through the world with a deep sense of purpose.

But if their efforts are never acknowledged, that sense of purpose can fade and actually lead to burnout.

So it is important to matter, but perhaps it's most important to feel like you matter.

And I will say we are not necessarily ignorant.

dependent on others to connect to our impact.

Yes, as social creatures, we are, you know, we crave that social proof that we matter, that who we are and what we do make a difference.

But there are everyday ways that we can connect to our impact that could help us feel like we matter if we are questioning it.

I could tell you something that I've started to do in my own life.