Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
If you like something you should know, you're probably a curious person who enjoys learning about the world. And if you're looking for more places to learn, you should know about a podcast from TED called How to Be a Better Human. The host, Chris Duffy, was recently a guest here talking about why he loves laughter and how you can find more of it in your everyday life.
On How to Be a Better Human, Chris interviews scientists, experts, and TED speakers about fascinating practical topics from... How your dog experiences the world, to how to stop doom-scrolling, to how to find a deeper sense of belonging. You can find How to Be a Better Human wherever you listen to podcasts.
Today on Something You Should Know, how the simple act of expressing gratitude can actually change your brain. Then, the human need to matter, to be significant. We all have it, and it's powerful.
After the need for food and shelter, it is the need to matter that shapes our behavior. People will go to desperate measures to prove they matter, even in a negative way.
Also, home remedies that really work when you have a cold. And cats. They're aloof, mysterious, yet they're the second most popular pet there is.
I think that cats fall into this category of what we think of as charismatic species. And this is a term that comes out of wildlife biology for animals, and in some cases plants, that seem to really attract human attention.
All this today on Something You Should Know.
Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life.
Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. So I'm sure you've heard the advice to be thankful for what you have. Have gratitude. Well, what is that supposed to do for you exactly? Well, I'm about to tell you as we begin this episode of Something You Should Know.
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Chapter 2: How does expressing gratitude affect our brain?
That's what we're going to explore with Jennifer Brahini Wallace. She's an award-winning journalist and author of the book, Mattering, The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. Hi, Jennifer. Welcome. Glad to have you on Something You Should Know.
Thanks so much for having me.
So I get the concept. I know what it means to want to matter. But you've studied this pretty deeply. So what does mattering mean to you?
Yeah, I thought I knew what it meant to matter. I had this, you know, it's a word we hear kicked around. But what I found fascinating is that not only do we all have it, not only is it a universal human need, but that it is... the driver of human behavior for better or for worse.
So what I mean by that is, after the need for food and shelter, it is the need to matter, the drive to matter that shapes our behavior. When we feel like we matter to each other, to our communities, to our workplaces, we show up to the world in positive ways. We wanna contribute, we wanna engage and connect.
But when we are chronically made to feel like we don't matter, which is what we are seeing on a global level today, we often withdraw, we become anxious, depressed, turn to substances to try to alleviate that ache, that pain, or we can lash out in anger Think of road rage. Think of online attacks and political extremes.
People will go to desperate measures to prove they matter, even in a negative way.
And what is the difference? Because I imagine there is a big difference between mattering and feeling like you matter. I imagine a lot of people matter, but they don't feel like they do. They don't have any validation of that, but they actually objectively really do matter.
Yes, so mattering is a felt experience. So you could matter and not feel like you matter. And so as you point out, it is critical that we really create this new social norm where we connect people to the impact that they have. So the reason people often feel like they don't matter is because no one tells them that they do. No one sort of circles back.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the human need to matter?
Has this always been going on?
I think that is a great question. And what I will say is it was first studied mattering in 1981. So I don't have data before that day, but I could be pretty assured that back 50 years ago,
People struggled with mattering less and here's why here's why I believe that is there were Ecosystems there were neighborhoods close-knit neighborhoods people had a social contract at work Where if you worked and you were loyal for 40 years, you would be rewarded with a pension people felt more connected there were
We were a more religious society, and all the major religions talk about this idea of unconditional worth, unconditional value. So what has happened over the last several decades is that these ecosystems that used to deliver mattering, religious institutions, neighborhoods, workplaces, communities, those have eroded.
And so when we are struggling with feeling like we don't matter, we feel it so personally. We do not have backup systems to remind us of our worth. So instead, it makes us feel even more isolated. So I do think, and by the way, I think tech, has fueled this erosion of mattering and magnified it.
When you go to Silicon Valley, all of the companies, the startup tech companies talk about a frictionless experience. that they want the customer to be able to press a button and get their food, get their product. Things should be easy. This frictionless life that tech is trying to deliver for us has really lowered our tolerance for friction in our everyday lives. And what are relationships?
They are friction makers, right? Humans create friction. And so sitting on our couch and sending a text or sitting on our couch and scrolling instead of putting on our clothes, going out in the cold, having dinner with a friend where there might be some awkward conversation or they may say something that disappoints us, that it is very easy to escape that. relationships in technology.
But what it is doing is that it is making us feel lonely and like we matter less. And so all of these things, these ecosystems that no longer exist, tech selling us this idea that life should be frictionless, they really pulled us away from relationships that once delivered pretty regularly this sense of mattering for us. So I do think it's a modern phenomenon.
And with the advent of the AI, I think it's only going to get worse if we don't stop, name this need that all of us have, and understand how to meet it for ourselves and for the people in our lives that we care about.
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Chapter 4: Why do people go to great lengths to feel significant?
Thanks so much.
So I'll admit something right up front here. I'm a dog person. I've had dogs most of my life. I've had cats, too. I had one really cool cat when I was younger. But overall, I've just never really gotten cats. They seem aloof and independent. They're not especially impressed by humans. And yet, millions of people absolutely love them.
In fact, cats are one of the most popular pets in the U.S., with tens of millions of households owning them. There are upwards of 90 million pet cats roaming around American homes. So, I'm clearly missing something, which raises a bigger question. Why do humans bond so strongly with an animal that doesn't seem to need us, at least not the way dogs do?
Where did this relationship with cats come from, and why has it lasted for thousands of years? That's what we're digging into today with Jerry Moore. He's an archaeologist, writer, and professor emeritus of anthropology at California State University, Dominguez Hills. And he is author of a book called Cat Tales, A History.
All right, Jerry, so help me understand cats here, starting with how they became pets in the first place.
Yeah, that's one of the most interesting and improbable events that I know of in my studies of archeology. I mean, it's one of the least likely events because on the one hand, what happens is that every continent with the exception of Australia and Antarctica has a small wild cat that you would think would be suitable for domestication.
But in fact, all of our domesticated cats are derived from one species of cat that was found in North Africa and in the Near East. And then not only domesticated, but then spread around the world and in many places with terrible consequences. But the process by which that transformation from absolutely wild animal to one that's curled up at your feet,
is one of the most enigmatic events in human prehistory. Because on the one hand, it takes place when humans start not only raising their own food, but more particularly raising grains and storing them to be used throughout the year. So you have like large storage of harvests.
But the ironic thing is that that sort of process occurs in different places around the world, including, for example, in ancient Mexico and Guatemala, Mesoamerica, or the Andes. And in those places also, there are wild cats that you would think, well, maybe they would have been attracted to the pests that occupy storage bins of corn and things like that, but they weren't.
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