Jennifer Wallace

fuel burnout, even cynicism.

So years later, when Greg became fire chief, he created a system to change that.

He tracked the outcomes of rescues because he wanted his firefighters to know when their efforts had saved a life or eased someone's suffering, because Greg knew something vital.

It is not enough to do important work.

We need to know our work makes a difference.

We need to know we matter.

I'm a journalist, and for the past six years, I've interviewed hundreds of people around the world, like Greg, asking them a question.

Do you feel like you matter?

For too many, the answer was no.

A doctor I interviewed described feeling powerless now that insurance companies were denying her patients the care they needed.

A college student described feeling like she only mattered when her GPA was high and her weight was low.

An elderly man described feeling like he mattered less this way.

He said the hardest part of aging is that people stop relying on you.

What these stories and the scientific research make clear is that to thrive in life, we need to know we matter.

That is, to feel valued and to have an opportunity to add value to the world.

When we feel like we matter, we show up fully, we want to connect, we want to engage, we want to contribute.

But when we are made to feel like we don't matter, we often withdraw.

Some of us might turn to substances or self-harm to try to alleviate that pain.

Others lash out in anger, road rage, online attacks, political extremes.

These are all desperate attempts to say, I'll show you I matter.