Jeremiah

I'm scared of commitment, and I work at NVIDIA.

I'm going to keep stringing her along forever.

Chris is looking dejected.

"'Man, I haven't even made it to Engage Stage 2 yet.

I've tried everything.

Keeper, Reciprocity, Manifold.love, Kurt Fishing.

Do you think I should edit my dating doc?'

Max grimaced.

"'Dating docs are terminally cringe.

You don't need to know everything about a person before you ask them out.

Just use their photo in a three-sentence Tinder profile, the way God intended.'

Andreas has joined the conversation.

Tinder is cringe too.

You need to be picking up people in dimly lit clubs where you can't hear them and aren't even totally sure what they look like.

Caitlin frowns.

Yeah, but the problem there is that you still get some useful information from, like, their clothes.

I think the only non-cringe way to meet people is through blind dates with completely randomly selected people, so that you need to go through a thousand miserable interactions before you even meet someone who's the right age and gender for... With blind dates, says Sam, you still eventually learn something about the person.

The only non-cringe way to get married is to leave a flyer on a lamppost saying, "'I will be at the altar of St.

So-and-so's church at such-and-such a time, and then if anyone shows up, marry them before you see their face.'"

You're all overcomplicating this, says Lucy.