Jerry Debo Smith
Appearances
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Ah, the whites. And a lot of people can't tell by looking at me, though. I like to tell people this all the time, but I'm actually mixed myself. My mom is white. My dad is black. So a lot of pros and cons to being a mixed kid. Like, the biggest con to being mixed is that I got high blood pressure and mesothelioma. That's fucked up.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Y'all laughing, but some mornings, I don't know what the fuck wrong with me. And here's the best part. This is the part I like the most. I have a big dick and a high credit score. Brr, brr, brr, brr. My eyes up here, nigga, get the fuck out of here. All right, I'm lying, listen. My dick is huge, but my credit is fucked up, son.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
My dad told me a long time ago when I was a kid, he said, it doesn't matter if you got good credit if your dick big. You'll find some fat white woman to buy you anything you want. I said, niggas, you talking about my mother? I almost whooped his ass that day. That was the day. Thank you.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Eagles Nation, my nigga. All right. You from Philly? No, I'm from D.C., but I live in San Antonio.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Well, I started my career in San Antonio in 2010. They got my picture on the wall at Laugh Out Loud. Okay, very good. Very good. I know he ain't asked me that, but I felt like a nigga gotta shine. Gotta shine.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
No, sir. I ain't never been to jail, not a day in my life. And I'm caught up on my child support for the rest of you motherfuckers, too.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
I have three. Okay. And they all got their own mother because they need special attention. If you're gonna have them, that's how you have them.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Yeah. Shit. Oh, upcoming November. No, oh shit, last Monday and I'm in September. October, October. Fuck you. Congratulations. Congratulations, Jerry. I'm high, nigga. I've been over there for two hours. I love it.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Why do you go by three names? Because like a lot of my name is Jerry Smith because I'm fucking white. My mom thought that shit would be cool in the hoods of D.C. So I had to smack a lot of niggas around to get Debo in the name and shit. So that's my real nickname. So I like to go by my nickname when I'm on stage. I don't want to go by Jerry Smith. Nobody will come see me.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Yeah, that's my favorite show, man. I'm sorry I didn't mean to talk over you and shit. No, that's great. But that's me sitting on Seinfeld couch smoking a blunt and shit, you know what I'm saying? I love it. That's my merch. If y'all want to buy it, jerrydebosmith.com.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
The last per minute on that show is fucking amazing. I totally agree.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
No, I did. That's my favorite show, yeah. My mom died way before Seinfeld came on.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Uh, 1995. She had, uh... Oh, no. Seinfeld was banging. Did it? I thought it started in, like, uh, 89. I mean, 98. I'm sorry. I'm high, dawg. This nigga a samurai? All right. What the fuck? He say, what the fuck? And I look back, and this nigga a samurai on the jumps. All right. We both fucked up over here. A sleeveless samurai. Get that nigga. I'm sorry, they told me not to talk over y'all.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Let me shut the fuck up. I feel weird being up here, because I feel like I'm for sale. There's too many white people in here. You're doing great. You're doing great. You're not for sale. Okay, all right. Just know I got bad knees, nigga. I ain't going in the fields. You got better knees than the last guy. I seen him. That's funny and shit.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Kidney failure. Oh, my goodness. Did she ever... Y'all gonna see a nigga kill somebody here tonight. Did she have diabetes? No, no, she didn't. She was white. Diabetes is on my dad's side.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
How does that happen? I don't want to put her business out there, but she used to smoke cocaine and shit. Oh, okay.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
She met your dad? Yeah, honestly, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ain't wrong, though. It ain't like he wasn't a drug dealer and shit.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
Well, no, I just, I don't know. I don't think that's, I mean, she used to do, that's the only thing I can say, you know what I'm saying? That she used to do drugs and she had no other problems other than that. She was snorting it wrong. Snorting it wrong. I probably was. I didn't come here to kill nobody, but I'm about to kill one of these four niggas on this stage. I got one more mama joking.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
I'm going to fuck somebody up. Show y'all why my name is Deebo.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just fucking with y'all. I'm having fun. Yo, mama's so fat.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
The nigga all the way in the corner talking shit. I wouldn't be able to look at the police. I wouldn't be able to get to you and shit. Hey, Deebo. Yes, sir. You should take his chain. That shit fake. Oh, shit. That's shining like a motherfucker. That's fake, and your eyes cross a little bit. They got you, my nigga. It was close. It was a close call. Are all your kids in one city? No, no.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
My oldest son is 13, and my daughter is 12, and they live in Virginia. And my son, I have a 7-year-old here in Texas. Wow.
KILL TONY
#696 - SKETCH + DAVE LANDAU
First time you've seen a comic from San Antonio will be funny, huh?