Jess

I think that there has to be a little bit of grace because it's a pressure cooker.

It is a completely unnatural situation.

And I think it's very easy to say, well, in that situation, I would have done this or I would have done that.

It's not a normal situation.

And so I know Breezy later was basically like, I didn't show up the way for you that I wish I would have.

And that meant a lot to me.

But I also understand being in that situation is not easy.

He called me the next day after the mixer, like really, I think really realizing what he had done.

And I spoke to him for a short period of time and, you know, said, this isn't going to make you feel better if that's what you're looking for.

Just that he did it like he really messed up and it was going to be really bad for him and everyone's going to come after him and all these things.

And I kind of said,

probably yeah and again i didn't even know at that point what he had said like so wait so he was like sober enough to know i guess or at least like drunk enough to like i'm so i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't i think that was a really really really low point for him and he was panicking and didn't know what to do and i basically said look i don't i'm not gonna talk to you again after this but i'm happy to you know if there's anything you need to say that's fine and you know i didn't

I just wanted to let him know that I was not there to comfort him based on his own actions.

Yes.

Everything.

It's hard for me to say that.

It is hard for me to say that because this has been such a beautiful journey and I have everything that I've ever wanted now.

So it's hard for me to say, would I change it?

But if I'm being honest, if there was any way that I could just go back and it could have just been us to begin with, it's too hard to say no to that.

Trust myself a little bit more.