Jessica Baum

and how our brains work. And our brains actually have us live in denial and remember the good times when these kinds of things come up to protect us. We are wired to stay in connection. So Sarah is wired to stay in connection with this guy. And it wasn't that black and white for Ashley either.

I mean, there were many, many good years where Jason showed up and he was a wonderful person and he was a good father. And there's all these layers to this where your brain wants to focus and even romanticize and needs to in order to survive. And that's how we're wired. We're not wired to look at the bad stuff and just leave. Every domestic violent case, every person in any kind of situation would

I mean, there were many, many good years where Jason showed up and he was a wonderful person and he was a good father. And there's all these layers to this where your brain wants to focus and even romanticize and needs to in order to survive. And that's how we're wired. We're not wired to look at the bad stuff and just leave. Every domestic violent case, every person in any kind of situation would

I mean, there were many, many good years where Jason showed up and he was a wonderful person and he was a good father. And there's all these layers to this where your brain wants to focus and even romanticize and needs to in order to survive. And that's how we're wired. We're not wired to look at the bad stuff and just leave. Every domestic violent case, every person in any kind of situation would

flip a script and just walk out if it was that easy and attachment is just so layered so sarah was in her own way in a form of denial i also feel like with sarah she's involved in the therapeutic process with this man i don't know how much sarah was involved in understanding his trauma and i'm i'm saying that that might not be a good thing she might have over identified with his wounded parts

flip a script and just walk out if it was that easy and attachment is just so layered so sarah was in her own way in a form of denial i also feel like with sarah she's involved in the therapeutic process with this man i don't know how much sarah was involved in understanding his trauma and i'm i'm saying that that might not be a good thing she might have over identified with his wounded parts

flip a script and just walk out if it was that easy and attachment is just so layered so sarah was in her own way in a form of denial i also feel like with sarah she's involved in the therapeutic process with this man i don't know how much sarah was involved in understanding his trauma and i'm i'm saying that that might not be a good thing she might have over identified with his wounded parts

And under-identified with how he wounded her daughter. So there was an over-identification, maybe even a self-sacrifice on her end for this little boy in him who got abused and wanting to help that little boy that she wasn't able to see how this adult man was hurting her kids. I don't know if that helps, but this is how our brain works and this is how trauma works.

And under-identified with how he wounded her daughter. So there was an over-identification, maybe even a self-sacrifice on her end for this little boy in him who got abused and wanting to help that little boy that she wasn't able to see how this adult man was hurting her kids. I don't know if that helps, but this is how our brain works and this is how trauma works.

And under-identified with how he wounded her daughter. So there was an over-identification, maybe even a self-sacrifice on her end for this little boy in him who got abused and wanting to help that little boy that she wasn't able to see how this adult man was hurting her kids. I don't know if that helps, but this is how our brain works and this is how trauma works.

And, you know, Ashley and I, we were in the grief process for a really long time together. It's not like this easy process. I mean, 13 year marriage. I mean, Ashley and I spent more time thinking about how wonderful Jason was. And that's where her brain wanted to go for a while.

And, you know, Ashley and I, we were in the grief process for a really long time together. It's not like this easy process. I mean, 13 year marriage. I mean, Ashley and I spent more time thinking about how wonderful Jason was. And that's where her brain wanted to go for a while.

And, you know, Ashley and I, we were in the grief process for a really long time together. It's not like this easy process. I mean, 13 year marriage. I mean, Ashley and I spent more time thinking about how wonderful Jason was. And that's where her brain wanted to go for a while.

And that was important for Ashley to get to the other side and integrate the full version of Jason, not the good and the bad, but all of the behaviors and make sense of them all. And I think you had a really appropriate response as a friend. And you're clearly trying to put some of the pieces together. And I'm just trying to help clarify that. how challenging it is to be in Sarah's position.

And that was important for Ashley to get to the other side and integrate the full version of Jason, not the good and the bad, but all of the behaviors and make sense of them all. And I think you had a really appropriate response as a friend. And you're clearly trying to put some of the pieces together. And I'm just trying to help clarify that. how challenging it is to be in Sarah's position.

And that was important for Ashley to get to the other side and integrate the full version of Jason, not the good and the bad, but all of the behaviors and make sense of them all. And I think you had a really appropriate response as a friend. And you're clearly trying to put some of the pieces together. And I'm just trying to help clarify that. how challenging it is to be in Sarah's position.

Not that I'm okay with her choices, but her choices make sense. Really, when you understand attachment, they can start to make sense.

Not that I'm okay with her choices, but her choices make sense. Really, when you understand attachment, they can start to make sense.

Not that I'm okay with her choices, but her choices make sense. Really, when you understand attachment, they can start to make sense.

I keep going back to the theme of like connection is a biological imperative. So her daughter is preserving the connection with her mom as best she can. And you know, It's heartbreaking for us on the outside to see the daughter kind of sacrifice because the natural response to this type of abuse is rage. That is a healthy response.