Jessica Baum

speaker

72 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard May 2025 last heard 2 Apr

Jessica Baum’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.

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Betrayal Season 6 · Waking Up | EP 10 | Saskia's Story · 2 Apr 2026 podcast

And he was in a position of power because he met those needs so well for you.

I know it's a re-experiencing, but I think it's the re-experiencing with the support that makes the difference.

The way to heal this, Saskia, is now through the work with me, but also other people who you can be vulnerable with, who see you, who hold this sadness with you.

Instead of finding a new man and a new solution, we need to slow down and start to learn what's going on inside and be with our core wounds.

And a way to break this pattern is to lean on other people who don't medicate the trauma but can be with you in your pain.

I do have people that I know care about me.

Who's one of those people?

That is literally the only thing we need is we just need people to be with us.

I think there's a piece to trauma survivors where we are not used to people who accept us unconditionally and like us when we're messy and can be with all our parts.

So we're like, I have to perform.

You feel like just trying to block it out of your psyche is how you've been protecting yourself from it?

Yeah, for sure.

Betrayal Season 6 · Listener Mail - How Do I Help My Friend? | Betrayal Weekly — BONUS · 1 May 2025 podcast

This is an iHeart Podcast.

elizabeth i think you can't fathom how she could choose this man over his daughter which has a lot to do also with what that brings up inside of you which clearly you have a very strong and appropriate response to that level of betrayal she might be doing to her daughter by choosing this love over her daughter and so that's one piece but a really big piece of this is about attachment

and how our brains work. And our brains actually have us live in denial and remember the good times when these kinds of things come up to protect us. We are wired to stay in connection. So Sarah is wired to stay in connection with this guy. And it wasn't that black and white for Ashley either.

I mean, there were many, many good years where Jason showed up and he was a wonderful person and he was a good father. And there's all these layers to this where your brain wants to focus and even romanticize and needs to in order to survive. And that's how we're wired. We're not wired to look at the bad stuff and just leave. Every domestic violent case, every person in any kind of situation would

flip a script and just walk out if it was that easy and attachment is just so layered so sarah was in her own way in a form of denial i also feel like with sarah she's involved in the therapeutic process with this man i don't know how much sarah was involved in understanding his trauma and i'm i'm saying that that might not be a good thing she might have over identified with his wounded parts

And under-identified with how he wounded her daughter. So there was an over-identification, maybe even a self-sacrifice on her end for this little boy in him who got abused and wanting to help that little boy that she wasn't able to see how this adult man was hurting her kids. I don't know if that helps, but this is how our brain works and this is how trauma works.

And, you know, Ashley and I, we were in the grief process for a really long time together. It's not like this easy process. I mean, 13 year marriage. I mean, Ashley and I spent more time thinking about how wonderful Jason was. And that's where her brain wanted to go for a while.

And that was important for Ashley to get to the other side and integrate the full version of Jason, not the good and the bad, but all of the behaviors and make sense of them all. And I think you had a really appropriate response as a friend. And you're clearly trying to put some of the pieces together. And I'm just trying to help clarify that. how challenging it is to be in Sarah's position.

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