Jessica Baum

You can hold space. If she's asking, that's another thing. But with enough therapy, she will get there on her own time, I believe. In her own way, in her own safety, she will say, wait a minute. Let me look at where my rage is or she might access those things, but you can't make her get there faster if she's not ready, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

You can hold space. If she's asking, that's another thing. But with enough therapy, she will get there on her own time, I believe. In her own way, in her own safety, she will say, wait a minute. Let me look at where my rage is or she might access those things, but you can't make her get there faster if she's not ready, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Yeah, I mean, I have a couple of things to say about that, but boundaries that you said so brilliantly, boundaries aren't about punishing another person or controlling another person. They're about protecting ourselves. Right. And so the boundary that you set was for your own emotional help, you know, to protect yourself from what you were seeing that was causing a lot of distress inside of you.

Yeah, I mean, I have a couple of things to say about that, but boundaries that you said so brilliantly, boundaries aren't about punishing another person or controlling another person. They're about protecting ourselves. Right. And so the boundary that you set was for your own emotional help, you know, to protect yourself from what you were seeing that was causing a lot of distress inside of you.

Yeah, I mean, I have a couple of things to say about that, but boundaries that you said so brilliantly, boundaries aren't about punishing another person or controlling another person. They're about protecting ourselves. Right. And so the boundary that you set was for your own emotional help, you know, to protect yourself from what you were seeing that was causing a lot of distress inside of you.

So when I set a boundary, I try to say, hey, I'm doing this for me. This is why I'm doing it. But I mean, attachment runs deep. And there are times you want to say, like, why don't you just leave? And it's not that simple. It's not that easy. When you describe their love, it sounds like Sarah has a very early attachment bond.

So when I set a boundary, I try to say, hey, I'm doing this for me. This is why I'm doing it. But I mean, attachment runs deep. And there are times you want to say, like, why don't you just leave? And it's not that simple. It's not that easy. When you describe their love, it sounds like Sarah has a very early attachment bond.

So when I set a boundary, I try to say, hey, I'm doing this for me. This is why I'm doing it. But I mean, attachment runs deep. And there are times you want to say, like, why don't you just leave? And it's not that simple. It's not that easy. When you describe their love, it sounds like Sarah has a very early attachment bond.

She will override what we all think she should do to stay in relationship to not face the fear of losing her person. She's surviving and staying in an attachment that gives the illusion of being safer or more security. Then leaving and facing the deep well of aloneness or emptiness, her system knows that she might have to face without him. Honestly, that was me.

She will override what we all think she should do to stay in relationship to not face the fear of losing her person. She's surviving and staying in an attachment that gives the illusion of being safer or more security. Then leaving and facing the deep well of aloneness or emptiness, her system knows that she might have to face without him. Honestly, that was me.

She will override what we all think she should do to stay in relationship to not face the fear of losing her person. She's surviving and staying in an attachment that gives the illusion of being safer or more security. Then leaving and facing the deep well of aloneness or emptiness, her system knows that she might have to face without him. Honestly, that was me.

Often it's not about the other person's behavior. It's not about this guy's behavior. It's about what part of myself do I need to face if I actually leave this relationship that's terrifying me. Her brain is going to work really hard to minimize things to keep connection with him. And everybody on the outside is going to look at this and it's very black and white.

Often it's not about the other person's behavior. It's not about this guy's behavior. It's about what part of myself do I need to face if I actually leave this relationship that's terrifying me. Her brain is going to work really hard to minimize things to keep connection with him. And everybody on the outside is going to look at this and it's very black and white.

Often it's not about the other person's behavior. It's not about this guy's behavior. It's about what part of myself do I need to face if I actually leave this relationship that's terrifying me. Her brain is going to work really hard to minimize things to keep connection with him. And everybody on the outside is going to look at this and it's very black and white.

But when you're on the inside and you're living it, it's not that black and white. And it wasn't that black and white for Ashley either. I mean, I had to meet Ashley and I had to say, of course, you love him. Of course, you miss him. Of course, tell me about the good years. It wouldn't have worked if I just went in black and white with you, Ashley, just wouldn't have worked.

But when you're on the inside and you're living it, it's not that black and white. And it wasn't that black and white for Ashley either. I mean, I had to meet Ashley and I had to say, of course, you love him. Of course, you miss him. Of course, tell me about the good years. It wouldn't have worked if I just went in black and white with you, Ashley, just wouldn't have worked.

But when you're on the inside and you're living it, it's not that black and white. And it wasn't that black and white for Ashley either. I mean, I had to meet Ashley and I had to say, of course, you love him. Of course, you miss him. Of course, tell me about the good years. It wouldn't have worked if I just went in black and white with you, Ashley, just wouldn't have worked.

This is an iHeart Podcast.

This is an iHeart Podcast.

This is an iHeart Podcast.