Jessica Baum

I remember asking my mentor once when I got out of a really unhealthy relationship, I said, did I need to go through this pretty traumatic relationship to have this healing process occur?

Like, was there another path?

Sometimes we're just not ready to go there until things get bad enough or we need a wake-up call.

Yeah, right.

Stuff from my childhood.

Doesn't it make sense?

That's part of the human desire is we go towards what feels good, what releases chemicals, what feels a sense of belonging.

And you weren't getting any of that at home.

When you grow up with childhood neglect and trauma, that very young part of you is looking to be taken care of.

And attracted to someone who appears safe, who appears like they're going to take care of that little girl.

And it ends up becoming a nightmare.

Right.

Mike presented as someone different.

He presented as someone safer.

He presented as not your normal type person.

And it's almost like a fish on the hook.

Your inner child is projecting the perfect parent onto this person.

This is going to be the solution because now this person is safe.

They're meeting all your needs.

And the truth is your attachment needs were still underneath the surface.