Jessie Stephens

Or tell her I'm actually in a lot of pain.

Like I'm in a lot of pain.

I just walked up a hill.

Anyway, and I just went for the second option.

I just thought, fuck it.

I'm going to do it.

It's just her and I here.

I reckon I'm a good enough reader to know if she's finding this conversation boring.

She then started telling me about this chronic pain condition she had I had no idea about.

And it ended up in her venting, like her going, oh, my goodness, I feel as though my body's falling apart.

I feel as though I have no control, blah, blah, blah.

And it was one of the most insightful, fruitful conversations I had over the whole break where

where she helped me put words around how I was feeling.

I felt deeply connected to her.

She clearly felt like she couldn't sit and you just don't know what's happening for other people.

And opening that crack up a little bit meant that we could be honest and access this other level of intimacy and vulnerability that I think would have been missing otherwise.

Because that's what you need from your friendships, right, is I reckon that when you're stuck in that cycle, your frontal lobe or something actually shuts down and you're not reasonable.

And also because you feel like you're in a safe space, which you should feel that.

And a friend can say to you, I had this over the break, I knew I was irrationally angry about something and I was venting to very specific people about this thing that I was angry about.

And those three people had the exact same advice for me.