Jillian Turecki

Yes.

Yes.

Very, very hard. We have so many expectations. So what you're describing is what so many people do, which is, I will change this person. You cannot change a person. You have some options. You either completely accept them as they are, And realize and maybe realize that you yourself are not as evolved as you think you are.

Very, very hard. We have so many expectations. So what you're describing is what so many people do, which is, I will change this person. You cannot change a person. You have some options. You either completely accept them as they are, And realize and maybe realize that you yourself are not as evolved as you think you are.

And you accept that maybe they are growing, but they're growing at a different pace. Yeah. And they're not growing the way you want them to grow, right?

And you accept that maybe they are growing, but they're growing at a different pace. Yeah. And they're not growing the way you want them to grow, right?

Yes.

Yes.

Or just don't be with them. It really, it's very important if you can't... It's very important that we grow, but at the same time, we're also always changing. So there's also another conundrum that people face in long-term relationships is, oh my God, you're different. Oh my God, you changed. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Or just don't be with them. It really, it's very important if you can't... It's very important that we grow, but at the same time, we're also always changing. So there's also another conundrum that people face in long-term relationships is, oh my God, you're different. Oh my God, you changed. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That can make someone feel really out of control and feel like, oh my God, are you not going to love me anymore? Are you the same person? You mentioned the word attachment. As human beings, we get attached and we get attached to outcomes and we have expectations.

That can make someone feel really out of control and feel like, oh my God, are you not going to love me anymore? Are you the same person? You mentioned the word attachment. As human beings, we get attached and we get attached to outcomes and we have expectations.

And the road to less suffering is to have very little expectations and very little attachment to the outcome and to really live and let live. But that's very difficult for us humans, you know? And so going back to, you know, maybe I'm half the problem. No, if you're in a relationship and you are so fixated on your partner, being someone who they are not. You are the problem, not them.

And the road to less suffering is to have very little expectations and very little attachment to the outcome and to really live and let live. But that's very difficult for us humans, you know? And so going back to, you know, maybe I'm half the problem. No, if you're in a relationship and you are so fixated on your partner, being someone who they are not. You are the problem, not them.

Because they can just get into a relationship with someone who's not fixated on changing them and they will have a better relationship. Right, it's true.

Because they can just get into a relationship with someone who's not fixated on changing them and they will have a better relationship. Right, it's true.

And let's let's add something to that, which is and let's even remove the prison part.

And let's let's add something to that, which is and let's even remove the prison part.

Yeah. Let's just say because of his quote unquote brokenness, he could never, ever love her the way that she needs to be loved. He cannot meet any of her needs. He's selfish. He's self-involved. He's unable to be there for her, to support her, to make her feel safe, to make her feel loved. Pretty low.

Yeah. Let's just say because of his quote unquote brokenness, he could never, ever love her the way that she needs to be loved. He cannot meet any of her needs. He's selfish. He's self-involved. He's unable to be there for her, to support her, to make her feel safe, to make her feel loved. Pretty low.