Jillian Turecki

Okay, so number one is...

Wonderful to be here. Thanks for having me.

Wonderful to be here. Thanks for having me.

So there's a few things. One is it shouldn't just be the apps. I don't tell people get off the apps. Sometimes I say get on the apps. But if you just focus on that, that's going to burn you out and it's going to exhaust you and you're meeting a bunch of strangers. So that's like another mistake that people make is that they're impatient.

So there's a few things. One is it shouldn't just be the apps. I don't tell people get off the apps. Sometimes I say get on the apps. But if you just focus on that, that's going to burn you out and it's going to exhaust you and you're meeting a bunch of strangers. So that's like another mistake that people make is that they're impatient.

It's not every day that you meet someone who you want to build a relationship with. Like, it's just not that easy. But you have to get out there. You have to be proactive. Look, there are people who are sitting around on their couch waiting for like that person to fall onto the couch next to them. And it's not going to happen that way.

It's not every day that you meet someone who you want to build a relationship with. Like, it's just not that easy. But you have to get out there. You have to be proactive. Look, there are people who are sitting around on their couch waiting for like that person to fall onto the couch next to them. And it's not going to happen that way.

So you can either live your life to the fullest and enjoy your life and trust that one day organically, it may or may not happen if you put yourself out there and you widen your circle, or you actually have to be proactive. And that might mean going on a, like dating like it's your business, like going on a bunch of dates every single week with as low of an expectation as possible.

So you can either live your life to the fullest and enjoy your life and trust that one day organically, it may or may not happen if you put yourself out there and you widen your circle, or you actually have to be proactive. And that might mean going on a, like dating like it's your business, like going on a bunch of dates every single week with as low of an expectation as possible.

Because one of the biggest mistakes that people make in dating, like I have nothing but compassion and empathy for this. But you're texting with someone, you're kind of excited, you feel like there's a vibe. And then you go out and you're like, oh, I don't feel spark or I'm not into it. And then there's this, people then get into learned helplessness.

Because one of the biggest mistakes that people make in dating, like I have nothing but compassion and empathy for this. But you're texting with someone, you're kind of excited, you feel like there's a vibe. And then you go out and you're like, oh, I don't feel spark or I'm not into it. And then there's this, people then get into learned helplessness.

And when they go into learned helplessness, they're like, you know, it's the why me, this is never going to happen. It's this state that I am in is permanent. Like I will never find anyone. No, dating is really an opportunity for you to practice your social skills. Social skills are things that most people are not that great at, honestly, even the people who think that they're really great at it.

And when they go into learned helplessness, they're like, you know, it's the why me, this is never going to happen. It's this state that I am in is permanent. Like I will never find anyone. No, dating is really an opportunity for you to practice your social skills. Social skills are things that most people are not that great at, honestly, even the people who think that they're really great at it.

It takes a lot to really talk to someone and not interview them and actually be curious about them. You know, a lot of people are nervous. So practice breathing and being comfortable in your body. And getting to know someone and who knows, maybe you make a friend and maybe you never want to see that person again, but at least you're practicing.

It takes a lot to really talk to someone and not interview them and actually be curious about them. You know, a lot of people are nervous. So practice breathing and being comfortable in your body. And getting to know someone and who knows, maybe you make a friend and maybe you never want to see that person again, but at least you're practicing.

So the three biggest mistakes is just focusing on the apps and not actually expanding your circle and doing new things and letting certain things unfold organically. Number two, impatience. Number three, just sort of high expectations. But I want to add another one if I can.

So the three biggest mistakes is just focusing on the apps and not actually expanding your circle and doing new things and letting certain things unfold organically. Number two, impatience. Number three, just sort of high expectations. But I want to add another one if I can.

People get into these very long, I mean, when I say long, like weeks, texting exchanges with these people. And it gives them a false sense of intimacy. Oh, I have this amazing connection. They never even met the person. And then maybe they never meet. Don't do that. text a little bit back and forth like a day and make a date to either meet on FaceTime, Zoom, or in person.

People get into these very long, I mean, when I say long, like weeks, texting exchanges with these people. And it gives them a false sense of intimacy. Oh, I have this amazing connection. They never even met the person. And then maybe they never meet. Don't do that. text a little bit back and forth like a day and make a date to either meet on FaceTime, Zoom, or in person.

You really should go about it as if your time is too precious to waste texting back and forth with a stranger who may not be available.