Jim Jordan

And a garden is a place where nature can flourish. And if you set up a walled garden properly in your household, the children will play. And that will give you an opportunity to play house with your wife, which you want, if you have any sense. So the emergence of play in your household is an index of optimized harmony. That's an extremely useful thing to know.

Same applies in the context of a marriage.

Same applies in the context of a marriage.

Well, look, boundary is an impediment to exploration, but it's also an enclosure that produces security. So boundary as fence reduces anxiety. And that's the same thing with stable household rules. You might say, well, the rules are restrictions. It's like, yeah, but partly what they're restricting is the chaos that produces anxiety.

Well, look, boundary is an impediment to exploration, but it's also an enclosure that produces security. So boundary as fence reduces anxiety. And that's the same thing with stable household rules. You might say, well, the rules are restrictions. It's like, yeah, but partly what they're restricting is the chaos that produces anxiety.

So now you want to adjust the boundary so the child can expand his or her exploration. But boundaries of the abstract sort, so the principles by which you run the household, produce the kind of predictable stability within which play and exploration can take place, and they quell anxiety. So you're doing your child and you and your wife a great favor by imposing that regularity.

So now you want to adjust the boundary so the child can expand his or her exploration. But boundaries of the abstract sort, so the principles by which you run the household, produce the kind of predictable stability within which play and exploration can take place, and they quell anxiety. So you're doing your child and you and your wife a great favor by imposing that regularity.

Now, there's another way of thinking about boundaries that the Rousseauian types and the progressives miss completely, right? So you might say, if you're playing basketball, that the rules are boundaries and they're restrictions. You can't do this. You can't do that. It's like, yeah, but they're also enabling principles. So good rules are enabling principles in that they're game rules.

Now, there's another way of thinking about boundaries that the Rousseauian types and the progressives miss completely, right? So you might say, if you're playing basketball, that the rules are boundaries and they're restrictions. You can't do this. You can't do that. It's like, yeah, but they're also enabling principles. So good rules are enabling principles in that they're game rules.

And so it's a misapprehension to only think about a regulated environment as fences and enclosures and restrictions. It's like, well, you can't play... Football, when you're playing basketball, and I suppose that's a boundary, but without the rules, there's no game, right? And there's something that should be burnt into your psyche. Without the rules, there is no game.

And so it's a misapprehension to only think about a regulated environment as fences and enclosures and restrictions. It's like, well, you can't play... Football, when you're playing basketball, and I suppose that's a boundary, but without the rules, there's no game, right? And there's something that should be burnt into your psyche. Without the rules, there is no game.

Now, if the rules are well-formulated, minimal, right, but enforced, like a good referee, then not only can the game be played... It can be played with multiple people and it can improve as it plays. Right. And then it can generalize to other games.

Now, if the rules are well-formulated, minimal, right, but enforced, like a good referee, then not only can the game be played... It can be played with multiple people and it can improve as it plays. Right. And then it can generalize to other games.

And that's the purpose of sports, for example, is to teach you to be skilled, but to be a good sport so that you're invited to play many games across the course of your life. That's a very good conceptual schemata for what you're doing as a parent.

And that's the purpose of sports, for example, is to teach you to be skilled, but to be a good sport so that you're invited to play many games across the course of your life. That's a very good conceptual schemata for what you're doing as a parent.

Well, I think you actually put your finger on it. Like, your role as a parent... There's two that are fundamental. One is to encourage your child to be maximally socially acceptable. And you want to have that more or less in place by the age of four or there'll be trouble and it'll be severe and it will be hard to fix. And then your household should be a proxy for the real world.

Well, I think you actually put your finger on it. Like, your role as a parent... There's two that are fundamental. One is to encourage your child to be maximally socially acceptable. And you want to have that more or less in place by the age of four or there'll be trouble and it'll be severe and it will be hard to fix. And then your household should be a proxy for the real world.

Which means that it's your responsibility as a parent to encourage behavior in the household that would translate well to the real world. So your children roughly should conduct themselves at mealtimes as they would conduct themselves in the house of a potentially welcoming stranger or a restaurant. Now, maybe that's a little bit too high a bar for the typical domestic meal, but I don't know.

Which means that it's your responsibility as a parent to encourage behavior in the household that would translate well to the real world. So your children roughly should conduct themselves at mealtimes as they would conduct themselves in the house of a potentially welcoming stranger or a restaurant. Now, maybe that's a little bit too high a bar for the typical domestic meal, but I don't know.

Do you want to raise barbarians who aren't welcome wherever they go? We had children come over to our house at one point. Their parents were completely, they were very permissive. And we're tyrants because of it. These kids were quite young. They had to follow the kids around every second in our household because they couldn't be trusted not to destroy something.