Jim Norton

And since my dad grew up on a dairy farm and he helped baby calves latch to their mother's udders, he decided to give her a few pointers.

And he told me that the trick is you have to rapidly smack the udder, in this case the breast, and that'll get the milk to start to flow.

And then my dad goes, yeah, and she didn't care for it.

Oh, what, she didn't care for getting her boobs smacked around while she was trying to breastfeed?

Or the fact you compared her to a cow, which... Anyone else here play slap the bag with their mother's tick growing up?

Because apparently we were.

My dad would slap, I would drink, and my mom would file for divorce.

Okay, Mark Wellborn.

Fun stuff.

I've always wondered what 60 Seconds would be like, performed by Anthony Juzelnik's sperm.

How old are you?

I am 26 years old.

Okay.

How long have you been doing stand-up?

After tonight, it'll be three years and nine months.

Wow.

Very, very, you're keeping a close track on that.

Yes, I checked today.

Okay.

You had a tough spot.